February 2018
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(wrnng:sx)


(for those of you new to my journal, that subject line means I'm gonna talk about sex and it might be TMI for you, so read at your own risk)

oh. my. gosh. There's just something about a full moon -- they always mean something good is going to happen for me.

I couldn't sleep last night, so I was just laying in bed petting Ben when he woke up to get ready for work... and I wanted him to pet me for a bit, just so that I could go to sleep with that feeling of intimacy -- but for whatever reason, his touch ignited me in a way that was much more powerful than usual (since we've been digging up bad memories in counseling my sex drive has crashed) and we weren't about to waste it... and WOW. That sexperience just eclipsed all the others. Foreplay was minimal, yet I had a double simultanious orgasm (that's the only way I can think of to describe it) and just the whole time was amazing... it felt like every cell in my body was into it, instead of just your usual zones... and I think that was the first time that my whole self has been completely immersed in sensuality. Before, there has always been some part of me that seems to be sitting with it's arms crossed and an eyebrow raised, saying "this is it? I thought there was more to it than that." Not this time! And Ben didn't do anything differently or better, I just reacted much more enthusiastically.

Maybe I'm really getting healed -- I know that I can't expect zero backtracking, but still... if this is what sex is like all the time for healthy people, then all that I've been through to find healing is worth it, just for the sex.

--------

When I get aroused, my mind shuts down almost totally. I can't think and I can only remember feelings afterwards, not the order that we did stuff in or what exactly we did -- I mean, if we did more than one postition I even forget that and only remember the last one! Seriously! It's a very odd experience for me because my mind is usually so in control, and I remember all other interactions very clearly -- I can quote conversations. But I like it. I like losing myself in the moment... and sex is the only time I do that completely. It feels utterly liberating and relaxing.

feelings: pleased
sounds: the Benjamin Gate: "Tonight"

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Comments
synisterchyck ══╣╠══
Learning to let go is one of the most important things. You are lucky you have some one who is willing to work with you as you overcome your issues.

*sigh*
miss having sex again hope this dry spell isn't as long as the last.
moody_godess ══╣╠══
yes, i must say that THAT is the way "healthy people" sex feels. sensual sex with the right guy is AMAZING. ive been lucky and in love once or twice and have had orgasmic experiences on emotional and physical levels.

im glad you had such a wonderful experience. you're very lucky that you have a husband who is so supportive. then again, he's very lucky to have you.!

and no need to put a warning for a 'sex post'..bring it on. hehe.

xo
lisa
amazedcreation ══╣candles╠══
I just think it's beautiful that you are married and experiencing the love and passion and pleasure God intended us to know! There is so much more beauty in your experience with your husband than anything could ever be.
oldschoolweapon ══╣rock╠══
just loose it...go crazy....
shaybe ══╣╠══
its an important thing in life
when rob and i even go a day without seeing eachother we can't stop kissing eachother. there is something amazing about being so atracted to one person and only one person so fully and completely. it is beautiful. glad to hear you enjoyed sex so thouroghly
nikare ══╣╠══
This experience means more than you may currently realize. Later on, more will become clearer.

Couples grow together. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually...
All levels of these things become intensified in couples that stick together.
At least in couples that last...
But I've seen what's to come for the two of you, and you should be pleased to hear that there is a bright and close future for the two of you. We are seeing to that. It's good to see that there are still bastions of trust existent in this world.

As far as my own trust though, I'm teetering and haven't decided which way to fall yet. Trusting in others and gaining another's trust can be difficult at times. Especially when it comes to past complications with trust.
interruptd ══╣╠══
sounds wonderful

on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.