Day before yesterday I was up for 29 hours, then I went to sleep for about 19 hours. My schedule is so insane because I have SO MUCH going on, emotionally. I haven't been able to catch up mentally, which is why I haven't been able to write about it in any real way. Now thanks to many many dreams last night, I feel emotionally caught up but there is a new development that makes me uncertain all over again, and I am waiting to see what happens before I pour it all out. Sorry for the crypticness, I think you'll understand when I finally make that megapost.

I've been communicating so much lately (phone, IM, email) -- more in the past two weeks than in the rest of this year combined. It feels really good, like a dam broke and all of this connection is flowing into and through me. So many possibilities, so much hope, so much newness.

I also seem to be changing shape; I think from a combination of using the HealthRider and just using so much emotional energy that my body is burning more fuel. The best thing is that I'm starting to feel muscles in my midsection, legs, and arms (on the inside, not the outside). I feel so much stronger, so fast! It feels good.

You know the amazing artist I posted about a while back, Willow Jenkinson? She is framing and sending me Devotion to the Matron as a gift! I loved it so much I wanted to buy it, but she offered it as a gift and I wasn't about to say no. The COLORS! The FACES! It's absolutely my favorite of her pieces so far. AND I GET TO OWN IT. THE ORIGINAL. It's going in my sanctuary ♥

I might be meeting Ava in two weeks. I'm trying not to get excited until the tickets are bought but -- I'm excited anyway, can't help it!

Also, I've been meaning to post about this for a long time -- I met Kimberley (darkpool), Jason (thesaj), and Aranatha (babythyme) at the end of February! Kimberley is one of my oldest LJ friends -- I 'met' her in April, 2004. About a year later I LJ-met Jason, and a year after that they got married, and about a year after that, Aranatha was born. (okay, enough timelining) They came into Atlanta for a conference and gave me the opportunity to finally meet them!

I was surprised on meeting Kimberley because her writing style can come across as formal and reserved, but in person she's SO bubbly! I know that if we lived close we'd spend a lot of time together. And I'd spend a lot of time babysitting too, because Aranatha is absolutely the most adorable child EVER. She was so HAPPY, smiling and cooing all the time! I could not stop grinning because she just radiated the most pure joy I've ever seen! I wanted to go move in with Kimberley and Jason and be their nanny, haha. And Jason was so outspoken and free -- I found it very interesting to listen to him rant about this and that, and rant along with him *giggles* Poor Nimajneb (my partner, I'm spelling his name that way nowadays for reasons I'll explain later) was a little overwhelmed by 1) new people 2) new places, and 3) loud conversation!

( the adventure of meeting them, and photos! )

Simon Dale & family

I missed last week (did you notice?) but am making up for it with an extra-inspirational art sharing this week; a living sculpture, a true home. This small family took organic, natural materials and put them together with deep respect for the earth, resulting in an unimaginably beautiful dwelling place. Seeing the natural shapes of the wood put to use (rather than chopped and shaved into sameness) fills me with delight! Everything about it -- the sod-covered roof, natural-shaped windows, loft area, reciprocal frame roof, skylight -- makes my heart sing. ♥ And I am grateful to them for being so mindful of resources and using scrap wood and glass that would otherwise have been discarded. I'm really awed.

Seeing these photos moved me so deeply that I have made a goal to have land of my own and build an organic home (I hated the idea of buying a house and being tied down, and I knew that my old dream of a giant custom house was really beyond my reach). Ben is both relieved (that I seem to be willing to settle and make the financially wise choice of owning) and doubtful (that such a dwelling would be sound and strong). I've even thought about making nice with my male bio-parent and his brother (because they build -- the uncle does it for a living). hmm. Who knows, it's still a ways off, but I could see it happening in another year or two.



( small photos -- go to the site for large versions )

Jack Morefield & plangdon

Jack Morefield, on dA as lostmyband, creates amazing portraits and landscapes using clearly-divided lines of color rather than the usual line and shade -- kinda impressionistic, but clearer. I love his work because he seems to paint the energy of a thing rather than simply the form of it. To me, that shows the interconnectedness of all things. ♥ I've only put in three of his works here, but do check out his gallery at the link above -- it's amazing.

As for plangdon, I love the sweet mood, lovely shapes, and soft light with occasional intense color. I didn't get to see much of hir work, but 'New Life' in particular stands out in my mind as a truly fantastic work -- the kind you never get tired of looking at.



( NWS for mild nudity )

Karin Collins

Karin's work speaks to me of healing through self-expression, not only because that was her reason for beginning this art, but because I believe every person who choses to wear one would also be healing themselves through self-expression. Each spoon collage is a microcosm of meaning; I imagine it would be especially meaningful for those who have suffered EDs, but not only for them. All of us have to learn how to nourish ourselves with positivity -- these look like spoonfuls of magic, and having one around your neck would be a constant reminder to drink in the beauty of life, and not let it pass you by.

"Fashion was the last thing on my mind when I began experimenting with using spoons as the canvas for the collages. I was looking for a way to heal myself from the eating disorder, and fashion sort of found me and became a part of that."



( more of the story, and many spoonfuls of art )

Willow Jenkinson

Her medium is colored pencils, fine liner, and permanent marker -- and she does things with it that I never imagined were possible! Seeing her artwork makes me feel as if I am peering into someone's dream; everything is so intense and meaningful. The colors are delicious and the linework bold. She has such a distinctive style! She did some Mucha-style pieces (which I have included in this post) and managed to be clearly Mucha-esque while still being distinctively herself. I love her abstracted hands and the way she blends images so that often you don't notice one aspect until you look closer (such as the raven here or here) Most of all I love her symbolism and her unique deity exploration, especially with Egyptian aspects.

Her art reminds me of the way mine would be if I drew freely.



( not work safe -- nudity )

Steven Perry

His other photography is great, but Steven's self-portraits just -- render me speechless and staring. I think many of us are afraid to show our complexity, because we feel that one side of us might somehow taint or invalidate the other side, or because we want to belong to a community; Steven faces that fear and laughs in its face. He shares every aspect of himself with utter rawness and honesty, and his photos SHOUT their meaning, flood you with emotion in response. Fear, love, anger, tenderness, depression, joy, self-assurance, self-hate -- showing true emotion is just the beginning. Every photo has a story to tell you and truths to give, both personal and universal.

Steven also explores what it means to live in a male body. Many nude male artists pose to hide the penis, as if it is something inherently more shameful than the rest of the body -- Steven doesn't (and he's gotten a lot of attacking from the community for it but he's not backing down). He doesn't allow himself to be restricted by the expectations most people have of a person living in a male body -- whether that be pose styles, body decorations, or whatever. Possibly more than anyone else, he has taught me what it means to be simply human, regardless of body shape.

These deserve to be seen full-size, & the artist comments he includes are often enlightening, so
I urge you to click to enlarge -- for the nudes, you will have to have a deviantart account and be signed in.



( NWS for nudity of course )

oro-elui

This woman is a brilliant photographer, photo-editor, and self-portraitist. I've chosen to feature her this week because she just got her first 'real' camera and most of the photos I am featuring were taken on a camera phone. Admittedly I don't know anything about camera phones and it might be quite nice, but nevertheless it would have many limitations and yet she produced such amazing art with it. I am thrilled to the bones that I get to watch her grow even more as an artist, using her new instrument!

I've featured a still life, an animal shot, earth landscapes, body landscapes, portraits, and nude self-portraits. The most I could narrow it down was 27 images! I am amazed by her range; her landscapes have as much life and meaning as her self-portraits. The concepts, the originality, the ingenuity -- she blows me away almost every time she uploads something new. It's one of my life goals to meet her. ♥

Please understand that you have not truly seen these until you have seen them full-size!
Click to enlarge -- on deviantart she permits the download of the original size.
For the nudes, you will have to have a deviantart account and be signed in.



( NWS for nudity of course )

I've decided to start sharing the art that so inspires me! Every Friday I'll post art -- photography, painting, music, dance, poetry -- by people who inspire me. I'll start off doing themes for a while and after I've mostly caught up I'll switch to posting recent inspirations. This week (this counts as Friday for me because I haven't gone to bed yet!):

Bellydance!

My two favorite bellydancers:
Roya & Shiva

(don't ask me why lj put them in a scrollbox but I guess you can only watch one at a time anyway)
if you can't get the embedded vids to work, here are the direct links:

Roya: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89PQqSXawJA
Shiva: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR1ZATJt38o

Every time I hit play on either of these I get sucked in and have to watch all the way through! (or most of the way through Shiva's -- dayum, he's got some stamina!) With Roya, WOW. Belly dancing is so second-nature to her that she plays with it! If you've never tried it you've no idea what an accomplishment that is. And she always smiles! all the way through! She takes so much joy in what she does. I love her veil-work and I love how she makes use of the whole space in her choreography and really moves around, yet still manages all those isolations. A lot of bellydance videos I watch involve the dancer staying in the same 4-foot circle, hardly using the legs at all -- not so with Roya! I love all the freedom that comes in her dance-running around. She doesn't really seem to perform so much as just play around and cheerfully share with whomever wants to watch. I could easily see her dancing around a fire.

Shiva -- WOW. I'm so impressed that he dances so fluidly! I think the male and/or slender body is not as easily suited to some of the movements in bellydance -- shimmies for instance -- but he does it all, seemingly without effort! Those belly rolls! DAYUM! I love the creativity of his costume -- no self-consciousness, not trying to be 'feminine' or 'masculine' but just being decorative. The headscarf is a really great touch, and I love the makeup. And he also makes use of the whole space! and OMG that backbend while shimmying?? I can't even freaking IMAGINE! oooh, and I love how he grins and waves on the cheers when balancing the length of the cane on his hip!

Also, Roya & Shiva are quite possibly the two sexiest beings in the universe. They're just so in-tune and ALIVE and sensual and free! It is a lifetime goal of mine to see them both perform live -- which means going to San Francisco and Sydney, Australia. Yay!

And I have to add a bellydance artist who doesn't bellydance: the photographer Michael Baxter. His photographs are beyond stunning! Under the cut are 6 he took of Roya, followed by 11 of other artists.



( gorgeous photographs by Michael Baxter )

Words and actions are like clothing; we can express ourselves with them, but they cannot describe the person we are. They can hint, they can shout, but they cannot sum us up. People are simply too complex, and too much of us exists in a place where no one can see actions or hear words. The only label that has any worth is our self-label: the words we choose to dress ourselves in. And even those have no worth until we explain our own meaning for them.

On that note, here are the words I wear: spiritual, creative, honest, open, compassionate, bisexual, polyamorous, partnered, nuevo-gypsy, Georgian, curvy body-positive, fiercely individualistic, feminist/equalist, genderfree female-bodied person. (in no particular order) And my definitions:

spiritual: I don't adhere to any one religion, but believe in whatever resonates with me. The main belief systems I draw from are ancient Egyptian concepts (including aspects of Kemetic Orthodoxy), Native American animism, Christianity, and Buddhism (I don't know much about it but I really love Hotei). I worship God/dess, and have a relationship with several of hir personalities, of Christian and Kemetic names. Ultimately I believe God/dess is love, that the physical world is a metaphor for the spiritual world, and that we chose to come to earth to learn how to love more. I believe everything is connected, all things have a spirit and a name, and there is no such thing as a coincidence.

creative: I am one who creates. I do my best to create love in myself and others, and to pour myself out in my creations: my writing, photography, modeling, beadweaving, painting, dancing, singing -- whatever way I can. I believe that every act of creation ripples out and changes the world (as does destruction, but that in a negative way). Even if no one ever sees my art, I feel I have changed the world simply by creating it (though I think it has even more power when shared).

honest: I do my best to never lie. I think 'little white lies' are like 'little white maggots' that infest connectedness and ruin it. Even one 'little white maggot' in a bowl of soup is going to make you not want to eat it -- I feel the same way about lies. If you can't trust me on something small, how can you trust me with your heart? also, little white maggotlies are usually born from insecurity in the relationship, or lack of willingness to work out all issues. 'I don't want to offend her' or 'I don't want conflict.' Conflict is the best source of growth. I say brrrrring it oooooooon.

open: I will share myself with my friends without prompting, and I will share myself with strangers upon them showing the interest to know. I think every time one person shares themselves with another, that creates more of a connection and ripples out to affect the whole world. To me, honesty is giving truth when it is asked for (passive), and openness is offering your truth (active).

compassionate: My most intense passion in life is to learn, in order to grow, and to grow, in order to love - more deeply, more freely, more openly. I believe love is my purpose for being. The more I love people, the easier it gets, because I come to understand them more, and when you truly understand a person, it's the easiest and most natural thing in the world to love them. I believe that at core we are all amazing, glorious spirits of incalculable worth. We all have a level of brokenness that keeps our spirits from being able to shine as they were meant to, but every act of love ripples out a wave of healing.

bisexual: ( ... )
polyamorous: ( ... )
partnered: ( ... )
nuevo-gypsy, Georgian: ( ... )
curvy body-positive: ( ... )
fiercely individualistic: ( ... )
feminist/equalist: ( ... )
nudist: ( ... )
genderfree female-bodied person: ( ... )

LJ idol topic 0: introduction/open topic (no voting this round!)