in googling myself, I discovered an anti-beauty-myth article using one of my photos as illustration. I am SO INSPIRED right now. It's in Spanish so I used babelfish to translate, and I love the way certain lines were translated:

Where it is left the diversity? As it is the place of intelligence, the tenderness, picardia, the force of the powerful character of the Venezuelan woman? To be "pretty", according to the criterion of our country, implies to extirpate the individuality, the weight I specify of our defects and virtues, that ineffable personal brightness that us makes only? I do not create it, I do not admit it, I resist to that idea.

( the google-translated article (borderline worksafe photo of me included) )

Unique, beautiful, unrepeatable. This is femininity in my country, and no one, even those sad aesthetic theorists who try to corner the curves and beautiful imperfections to create a single mold, it will never achieve change that thinking. -- Deirge

---

What is even more amazing? This particular photo has been stolen and desecrated TWICE by people attempting to show off their 'photoshop skills' at skinnifying me (I reported them for copyright theft and had the images removed from dA). There is some serious power in it, to provoke such reactions. I'm... gloriously stunned at the power of simple belief in the beauty of variety.

I made armandii an earring set recently and couldn't resist taking photos in them (don't worry, I always clean them after). The jewelry pieces I make are my babies, I have such a hard time letting them go! ;-) Oh, and I started an etsy account -- don't have much up yet, but I'm planning on making a bunch of simple earrings because I think they'll sell better. This time I want to keep trying until it works. I made two pairs today, though they didn't turn out simple at all -- one took the better part of two hours and the other took one. *rolls eyes at self*

I have discovered Burt's Bees lip shimmer and my friends, I actually like it! I'm collecting all the colors :D I've always hated lip color because it tastes nasty and feels goopy on my lips, but this actually feels like lip gloss, very light, and tastes peppermint YUM! I usually blot, but I wanted intense colors here.



( no nudity, gasp faint )

I need an updated selfportraiture icon (new camera, longer hair) but I need another person and another camera for that, argh!

I've been meaning to share this since I took it in early January! It's not my favorite shoot (still getting used to using the timer, and don't have much space!) but I like it a good bit.

( nudity )

Jack Gescheidt

I discovered this nearly a year ago, I think from googling 'tree spirit' -- I'm awed and thrilled by this project. Nudes in nature are the epitome of beauty to me (especially when the nudes are various colors, ages, sexes, sizes and shapes), and wise old trees touch my heart in a way nothing else can. The trees he's found to photograph are... absolutely incredible. I hope to fly into San Francisco and be a part of a shoot either this year or next, to meet these trees if for nothing else.

I would love to create a project like this, with all color (he uses mostly black & white) and more of a variety in races, and a combination of the far-away and close-up shots. *sigh* one day...



( nudity, but the people are very small in the photos so maaaybe worksafe? )

((for those coming in from LJ idol, not seeing the lj-cut -- at the bottom of this post is a nude image, so scroll carefully if you want to avoid it.))

I like that this topic came up this week, because it was just this weekend that I realized that LJ idol was changing my journaling style in a way I didn't like. I wasn't intentionally censoring, but I was writing for an audience instead of myself. Right now I'm wrestling with the desire to fancy up this entry, but I am determined to stop this trend, so I will smooth no rough edges and add no lace.

I've had my LJ since 2003 -- more than four years now. Over that time I've made an incredible journey thanks to my LJing ways. Not long after I started my LJ I decided that I wanted to be more open and honest, and that I wanted to use my journal as a way to reach that goal. I began to share my thoughts and feelings publicly, which was very difficult at first; but as I shared, I grew closer to my friends and they became more supportive, which made me able to share deeper levels of myself. The rare attack served to strengthen me, because I stood up for myself with the validation of my friends. In 'real' life I became more outgoing and confident, because I had learned that people respond positively to confident vulnerability and earnestness, and that the occasional negative reaction cannot possibly overwhelm all the positive reactions.

The more open and honest I become, the more I value transparency. It extends to every part of my life -- I dislike secrets, do not care for privacy, and cannot stand lies. I don't believe that there is a such thing as TMI because I don't think anything should be taboo to speak of. I do not like hiding in any way -- concealing makeup, figure-altering clothing (or indeed, any clothing at all), keeping quiet when my spirit demands that I speak up, acting strong when I am weak, etc. I want to be on the outside the same as I am on the inside. There have been times when I have been afraid to post something because I worried that my friends list might react negatively; I saw those topics as a challenge, and once I had gathered enough courage I posted them.

My outspokenness has caused issues in my face-to-face relationships, but the only thing that has caused a significant issue here on LJ is my love of nudity. I've lost a handful of friends over it, one which I really miss (the others not so much). I take nude self-portraits and model for art nudes, and I share the images online. I consider nudity natural and pure (though it has been fetishized by society); some do not share my opinion and consider it crass or even wicked. Others are comfortable with the idea of nude modeling, but are made uncomfortable by me posting the images in my journal and using nude icons. I have made the compromise of putting large nude photos under an lj-cut that is labeled with a warning, but I will not give up my nude icons. Icons are a person's image on LJ, and nudity as pure art is a very important part of who I am.

When I realize my actions are making someone uncomfortable, I consider changing. I weigh how important the issue is to me with how much it bothers the other person, and why. If it is not an important part of my being and that person is speaking for themselves, I am happy to change to accommodate a friend. However, if the issue concerns something that I consider a vital part of who I am, I will change it for no one. For instance, I will not lie for someone (except perhaps in a life and death situation). Also, if I consider the person to be speaking for society instead of speaking for themselves, I am not likely to change because I do not care about society. I don't have to worry much about that one because I don't really attract those who tend to speak for society; I attract those who, like me, enjoy having their mindsets upended.


( NWS for nudity of course -- a self-portrait from my latest series )

LJ idol topic 10: "Whose LJ is it anyway?" ((if you liked/got something from this, please vote for me))

Steven Perry

His other photography is great, but Steven's self-portraits just -- render me speechless and staring. I think many of us are afraid to show our complexity, because we feel that one side of us might somehow taint or invalidate the other side, or because we want to belong to a community; Steven faces that fear and laughs in its face. He shares every aspect of himself with utter rawness and honesty, and his photos SHOUT their meaning, flood you with emotion in response. Fear, love, anger, tenderness, depression, joy, self-assurance, self-hate -- showing true emotion is just the beginning. Every photo has a story to tell you and truths to give, both personal and universal.

Steven also explores what it means to live in a male body. Many nude male artists pose to hide the penis, as if it is something inherently more shameful than the rest of the body -- Steven doesn't (and he's gotten a lot of attacking from the community for it but he's not backing down). He doesn't allow himself to be restricted by the expectations most people have of a person living in a male body -- whether that be pose styles, body decorations, or whatever. Possibly more than anyone else, he has taught me what it means to be simply human, regardless of body shape.

These deserve to be seen full-size, & the artist comments he includes are often enlightening, so
I urge you to click to enlarge -- for the nudes, you will have to have a deviantart account and be signed in.



( NWS for nudity of course )

oro-elui

This woman is a brilliant photographer, photo-editor, and self-portraitist. I've chosen to feature her this week because she just got her first 'real' camera and most of the photos I am featuring were taken on a camera phone. Admittedly I don't know anything about camera phones and it might be quite nice, but nevertheless it would have many limitations and yet she produced such amazing art with it. I am thrilled to the bones that I get to watch her grow even more as an artist, using her new instrument!

I've featured a still life, an animal shot, earth landscapes, body landscapes, portraits, and nude self-portraits. The most I could narrow it down was 27 images! I am amazed by her range; her landscapes have as much life and meaning as her self-portraits. The concepts, the originality, the ingenuity -- she blows me away almost every time she uploads something new. It's one of my life goals to meet her. ♥

Please understand that you have not truly seen these until you have seen them full-size!
Click to enlarge -- on deviantart she permits the download of the original size.
For the nudes, you will have to have a deviantart account and be signed in.



( NWS for nudity of course )

I've been friends with quite a few cats over my life -- Kanika is in a class all to herself. She's definitely the least affectionate cat I've ever met. Every single time you go to pet her, she has to sniff out your intentions first. Those few occasions when she doesn't immediately run off, she only tolerates one or two strokes before she threatens to bite you -- and you BETTER pay attention. She only rubs against you when she wants something, and if you make the mistake of thinking she's being cuddly, she looks at you as if you are unbearably stupid and resists your advances. Very rarely she will be in a lovey mood and come sit with me (in between the keyboard and me, of course) and THEN if I try to put her down she will bite me! crazy cat. She does seem to react with concern and cuddles when I'm really upset, but it only lasts about a minute, heh.

BUT she's also the most clever animal I've ever known. We lock her in the bathroom when she's being annoying, so she figured out how to unlatch the door and get out! Nowadays we have to put a brick in front of it if we want to keep her in more than a minute (she can still get out but it takes longer). She knows it is okay to use claws with Ben, so she does, but she never, ever uses them on me. If her litter box is dirty, she will get my attention by tearing around maniacally, and then darting for the box as soon as I look at her. (I'm always impressed that she's so good at communicating with me, so it always works) She plays tag (which I've never known any other animal to play, and she even taps you!) and fetch (much better than any dog I've known, since she will FIND it if it disappears from her line of sight), and with Ben she 'plays' attack. She also plays her own version of soccer by herself which is SO cute -- she bats the ball from paw to paw, tosses it in the air, and dumps it in the 'goal' (which is usually Ben's shoes).

Her favorite toy EVER is this fluffy sparkly pink puffball, which I find hilariously ironic because her personality is such a hardass. She doesn't seem to see the irony though, heh. She loves to play fetch with it and often drops it on the desk when I'm on the computer -- if I don't throw it she will toss it right on the keyboard or bump it against my mouse hand. So I fling it over my shoulder to get it out of the way and she goes tearing after it with this adorably excited chirrup.



( a video of Kanika playing fetch! and several photos )

also, go link me to your wishlist if you haven't already! I mean it! I'll throw 'Nika on you if you don't! (if you don't have one at least tell me a few things that would be on it if you did)

theindiequeen and I were hired by my aunt Mary to prepare a MASSIVE tree for moving it, because it would be better off elsewhere. The ground was so wet that mud was at least an inch deep, and it was still continuing to rain. (there was water flowing among its roots, like a stream (not from the rain) -- I've dreamed that before!) We were trying to hurry as we washed it off (I think we were washing it? we were touching all the bark but it doesn't make sense to be washing it, and we weren't using soap...), because we wanted to finish before it started pouring again (it was sprinkling at the time). I noticed that Sara was scrubbing off the lichen, and I stopped her, saying that it was beneficial to the tree (?), and we continued to wash. I put a chain around the tree and then it occurred to me that aunt Mary wasn't a trustworthy person at all, and perhaps she just SAID she was moving it when really she wanted to cut it down? I panicked, because I loved the tree so much, and started crying. I was unsure whether to continue in hopes of helping the tree by moving it, or stopping because I didn't want it to get cut down. (I also realized that we could wash all around but we couldn't wash anything higher than we could reach, since we had no ladder) I decided that I had to just do what I could and hope that Mary would help, since it was on her property and I had no way of saving the tree if she wanted to cut it down. So I hugged it and communed with it, and tried to get Sara to take photos of me with it, even though I was worried about my camera getting wet. I was willing to risk it! But then she turned into someone else and didn't want to take photos of me, only herself, and I took it back and attempted to photograph myself with it (though I only got a slice of bark -- that tree was easily thick enough to have five of me wrap arms around it, fingertips barely touching).

( what dreammoods has to say about the symbols )

Words and actions are like clothing; we can express ourselves with them, but they cannot describe the person we are. They can hint, they can shout, but they cannot sum us up. People are simply too complex, and too much of us exists in a place where no one can see actions or hear words. The only label that has any worth is our self-label: the words we choose to dress ourselves in. And even those have no worth until we explain our own meaning for them.

On that note, here are the words I wear: spiritual, creative, honest, open, compassionate, bisexual, polyamorous, partnered, nuevo-gypsy, Georgian, curvy body-positive, fiercely individualistic, feminist/equalist, genderfree female-bodied person. (in no particular order) And my definitions:

spiritual: I don't adhere to any one religion, but believe in whatever resonates with me. The main belief systems I draw from are ancient Egyptian concepts (including aspects of Kemetic Orthodoxy), Native American animism, Christianity, and Buddhism (I don't know much about it but I really love Hotei). I worship God/dess, and have a relationship with several of hir personalities, of Christian and Kemetic names. Ultimately I believe God/dess is love, that the physical world is a metaphor for the spiritual world, and that we chose to come to earth to learn how to love more. I believe everything is connected, all things have a spirit and a name, and there is no such thing as a coincidence.

creative: I am one who creates. I do my best to create love in myself and others, and to pour myself out in my creations: my writing, photography, modeling, beadweaving, painting, dancing, singing -- whatever way I can. I believe that every act of creation ripples out and changes the world (as does destruction, but that in a negative way). Even if no one ever sees my art, I feel I have changed the world simply by creating it (though I think it has even more power when shared).

honest: I do my best to never lie. I think 'little white lies' are like 'little white maggots' that infest connectedness and ruin it. Even one 'little white maggot' in a bowl of soup is going to make you not want to eat it -- I feel the same way about lies. If you can't trust me on something small, how can you trust me with your heart? also, little white maggotlies are usually born from insecurity in the relationship, or lack of willingness to work out all issues. 'I don't want to offend her' or 'I don't want conflict.' Conflict is the best source of growth. I say brrrrring it oooooooon.

open: I will share myself with my friends without prompting, and I will share myself with strangers upon them showing the interest to know. I think every time one person shares themselves with another, that creates more of a connection and ripples out to affect the whole world. To me, honesty is giving truth when it is asked for (passive), and openness is offering your truth (active).

compassionate: My most intense passion in life is to learn, in order to grow, and to grow, in order to love - more deeply, more freely, more openly. I believe love is my purpose for being. The more I love people, the easier it gets, because I come to understand them more, and when you truly understand a person, it's the easiest and most natural thing in the world to love them. I believe that at core we are all amazing, glorious spirits of incalculable worth. We all have a level of brokenness that keeps our spirits from being able to shine as they were meant to, but every act of love ripples out a wave of healing.

bisexual: ( ... )
polyamorous: ( ... )
partnered: ( ... )
nuevo-gypsy, Georgian: ( ... )
curvy body-positive: ( ... )
fiercely individualistic: ( ... )
feminist/equalist: ( ... )
nudist: ( ... )
genderfree female-bodied person: ( ... )

LJ idol topic 0: introduction/open topic (no voting this round!)

A few weeks ago I was at Ben's fam's house for his/elya's birthday party, and after the festivities died down I happened to go in the garage for something and saw RAINBOWS from the glass in the garage windows -- so I took a million photos. I cannot resist rainbows -- they are still magic to me. *love sparkle glitter beauty* and also, queer pride yes! :D I need to make myself some rainbow jewelry.

The song doesn't really have to do with the photos, artistically, but it just seemed to fit so I used the lyrics as captions. ;-)

( video: Rainbowarriors by CocoRosie )

of all the white horses...
In these times of evil spirits
Of material thugs and mischief
Fear Saint Noni's wisdom
And his love for rainbow spirits
Jealous of their faithful heart-bond
And their dancing and their laughing
Made at last a league against them
To molest them and destroy them
Saint Noni wise and heart-strong
Often said to Rainbowarrior
"O my brother do not leave me!
Lest the evil spirits harm you!"



( the photos! )

The ones with me in them aren't as great as the others, 'cause I couldn't see what I was shooting, of course. :-p I took about 600 photos this trip (well, Ben took some of them) so I'm breaking them into several posts. I took some portrait-style photos of lil sis and mom which turned out AMAZING and I can't wait to share them, next. And after that, a clothed shoot of me and a nude one. and maybe a text post about the trip somewhere in there...



( me & lil sis, lil sis & mom, mom & me )

one of the first photos taken with my NEW Sony Cybershot DSC-W80!!! I loooooooooooove her!

( me and Spydra -- and raving about her awesome features! )

About a year ago, I stopped going to Liberty because of an argument I had with the pastor. After a week or two, the co-pastors of the service I went to sent me a card saying they missed me, and then two weeks after that, sent me a plant (along with another card). I was very touched by the fact that they noticed my absence and went to such trouble to reach out to me (and I wondered if pastor Beth had told them, since she was around during the argument). I kept the plant, and it slowly became symbolic for me. It seemed to wax and wane according to the health of my spirit (probably because when I was spiritually low I never remembered to water it). So now I think of it as my 'spirituality plant.'

I had been meaning to re-pot it for ages, and finally got the pot and soil day before yesterday. In the bottom of the pot you're supposed to put stones or something to allow for better drainage, so I looked around for something to put in and saw these five stones that someone in my support group (from 2 years ago) had given me, with words on them -- 'peace,' 'you are beautiful' -- etc. They seemed ridiculously appropriate so I put them in along with some glass beads that I probably wouldn't use. When I tapped the plant loose from its old pot, there was almost no soil left! it was all roots! and they were so thick! I have no idea how that plant managed to stay so healthy with no nutrients. Loosening the roots took strong pulls because they were so tangled. I've replanted quite a bit thanks to my mom, but I've never seen roots so hard to separate.

It all seemed very symbolic of me -- I've outgrown my old 'pot' and have been living in too small a world, for so long that my roots have gotten tangled up with each other and I have run out of nutrients. By exploring new churches, making renewed effort with friends, and starting this women's group, I'm untangling and stretching out my roots to be nourished again. You should see how happy that plant looks in its new pot!


( me and my spirituality plant )

I have so much to say... Meliae called me Wednesday and I must have talked nonstop for at least half an hour just summarizing all that has gone on! To uncork the bottle:

- my camera broke! :-( Halfway through the visit, it stopped going into shooting mode, and I left it alone for a while before replacing the batteries (it did that before on low battery), and when I finally put new batteries in it still didn't work. I've been without a camera for like three weeks now and it's really depressing. :-( For a long while now I've been carrying it everywhere, it's become a big part of my life and now it's gone... It's 3.5 years old, so it was its time I guess, but that doesn't make me feel better. Rest in peace, Spyder.
- Hannah's visit was by turns beautiful, horrible, exciting, dull, healing, & painful. She left early for several reasons, mainly because we just didn't have the energy to balance against each other for another 2 weeks. The visit was really draining, but really important, and very necessary. I have a loooooot to write about that, don't want to get started right now.
- Meeting Nick was awesome! I want to make a post about it so I'll save details for later.
- Nimajneb and I have been working on our relationship, with huge steps forward... also deserves a post of its own!
- My parents have invited Nimajneb and I to go on vacation with them and lil sis at the end of August and we've accepted. o.0
- I'm worried that I'm being frozen out by some friends who are really important to me, and I've been too wimpy so far to confront the issue.
- I'm sooooo disappointed that Meliae can only visit for 3 days. I had it in my head that she was going to stay a week (don't assume, Bel!) and now I'm sad... but still very happy that I get to meet her soon.
- Last Saturday I went to church for the first time in over a year! It was fantastic and I've been looking for churches to try. I went looking for GLBT inclusive ones and they all seemed too conservative -- wtf? it was like they thought they had to make up for their 'progressiveness' by having bland (to my taste) worship, wearing fancy clothes and having traditional-style preaching. But I found a few that seemed interesting enough to try.
- I spent ages today catching up on approving members to the curvygirls comm! finally caught up. I've been such a bad mod for the past month.

Hopefully I will be getting back into LJ f'real now. I didn't have time to do more than skim during the visit, so please give me links to any recent posts of yours that you think I'd find especially interesting or that you want my input on!

Saturday we had planned to go to the Etowah Indian Mounds, but we didn't get much sleep the morning before and Hannah didn't have the energy to go, so Nimajneb and I went without her, and it was absolutely incredible. I believe it was meant to be that way, because if she had gone, I would have been very caught up in spending time with her and wouldn't have experienced it the same way (and she needed the sleep). I also feel like being with her this past week was a kind of catalyst for us both and we wouldn't have experienced it as deeply had she not been here.

We sat and listened to a man talk about the history of the major Native American tribes (including how some were matriarchal) and play a beautiful song on the flute, and then a group of Native Americans taught us about the different types of dance, and demonstrated... the music went straight to my blood and filled me up... ohhh I love drums. (and I learned that I prefer the deeper, southern style of singing rather than the higher northern style)



( photos of the drumming and dancing )

Afterward, I sat on the edge of the 'borrow pit' and gazed at the massive tree growing from the bed of it -- how old the pit must be to have such an Elder growing there! -- and Nimajneb spoke with the flute player. Nimajneb's part Seminole but has never really explored his heritage -- I was so thrilled that he spoke so openly about it, and thrilled that he wanted to buy the CD of flute music. It's such a huge step in openness -- I can't even express how amazed I am, how happy. I've felt like he had this amazing present, but he never even took the wrapping off -- and I would have opened it as soon as my baby hands could manage it, and worn it like a crown ever after. Even though it's not something I can share, I know it's such a big part of who he is, and I am so excited that he is finally opening up to it. I think this was a exuviating experience for him -- no, I know it. He's letting me post photos of him without him having to approve them first!

( photo )

Then we walked to the largest mound, and up the many shallow steps... and I lost my breath, partly because I'm out of shape and partly because I was overwhelmed by the spirit of the place. I was immediately drawn to a massive tree on the side of the mound, my God/dess, it was so amazing -- I have tears in my eyes at the memory. I sat near and spoke quietly to it as Nimajneb walked away around the edge of the mound, and just drank in its presence... when Nimajneb came back I said that I wished I could touch it, and so he insisted on helping me down to it (I have a fear of heights and not much faith in my own balance). When I touched its bark, I felt such a strong rush of warmth! I've had only one experience even remotely like it, and that was 8 years ago... this was such a profoundly spiritual experience; I feel like it confirms my connection with trees. I can't put it into words, it was so amazing -- in that one second, everything shifted. I feel like everything I believe became more real, more alive. (and I realized that I've never met a tree as old as that one -- all the trees I have met have been young) Nimajneb took some photos of the moment (which I am so grateful for), and then helped me back up to the top.

We wandered around and I saw several more amazing trees (including one with a faery house!), but none like that one. I feel like I left a little piece of my heart with it, and I can feel the tug of that connection. ♥ How can life be so amazing? (God/dess, I love you, thank you for this life, thank you for the beauty and the love you put in everything ♥ ♥ ♥) And there was a river nearby! Such an amazing, incredible, fascinating place -- I felt honored to walk the ground there. I definitely must go back (and next time I must wear sunscreen).



( many lovely photos )

since Hannah's going to BE HERE in 13 hours (!!!) I'm going to post a bunch of recent stuff to clear the way for new stuff. I'm quite proud of some of these self-portraits.



( leafshadow portraits )



( tree honor )



( 'The Kaylene' in Berries for roina_arwen )



( four from two days ago )

If you know me well, these photos will shock you. :-p ORANGE??!?!?! VOLUNTARILY?!?!? has Bel LOST HER MIND? All I can say is, they were laying around and when I saw them I thought of kashlamar's searing-orange and cobalt-blue outfit the other day, and sabr's adoration of the color, and I decided to make something in homage of them. :D both necklaces and the earrings are for sale! and I can make more dainty earrings to match if you have 2 holes or just want something little.

tangerine rainbow splash!



( photos galore, because I took tons and this is what it narrowed down to )

first, isn't my icon just completely utterly beyond adorable? :D :D :D

Thursday we did a nude photoshoot! I dragged several of the lamps into the bedroom and set up my tripod and made my first attempt at artistic nudes of someone else! Very exciting. I wish I had used a different backdrop, because after looking at them full-screen, I realize that that one is just wayyyyy too busy. But I still got some shots that I think are incredible. I really want to get actual lighting equipment and a studio... I'm so glad she agreed to model for me! :D Thanks Kat! ♥

( one implied nude, probably work safe )

After the shoot I went out to get my hair cut. I was all excited because I just KNEW that the cut I had in mind was going to look absolutely fantastic on me. So I went in, waited around for the lady I wanted, and then when she finally came up, I showed her what I wanted (found a pic in a book) and she palmed me off on the lady who had given me a completely shitty haircut last time. But I thought, hey, maybe I just didn't explain it well last time, and how can she go wrong with a photo of what I want right in front of her? >:-( She lopped ALL MY HAIR OFF, about 3-4 inches shorter than the photo, and brought the cowlick of doom back to life! I was so furious I couldn't speak, could hardly think. Which is why I didn't think to refuse to pay, which is what I should have done. At least I didn't tip her. I seriously think she hated me (because I made her re-cut it last time, and then made it clear that I did NOT want her this time) and gave me a bad cut on purpose. Evil, evil lady. ( a photo of the cut )

But except for the horridly stubborn cowlick (which I have to pin down because no mere glopping of gel will work), I've decided to like the cut now. The bangs at least are okay, and I like my dykey look, heh. I forgive you, evil haircutting lady. Go and commit hair-sins no more.

That night we went to the coffeehouse -- sadly there were people on my green couch (both times we went!) and so we sat in the front. I totally forget what we talked about, but I remember it was very interesting! ( coffeehouse photos )

Then Saturday we went to the Renaissance festival!!! yay! I loooooove going, I love the magical feel of it all and especially the beautiful glass exhibits ♥ I found a Ma'at figurine that was of much higher quality than any I have found, so I just had to have it for my sanctuary. I loved that stall and wish I had taken photos of the amazing goddess statues and mermaids and Egyptian figurines, all wonderful. ( Ma'at figurine photos )

We watched an acrobatic show, which was fantastic -- and I looooved watching the woman especially, she was so amazingly fit and curvy! They were quite funny and seemed to be having a blast.( RenFest acrobats! )

and I had to take a million glass photos...
( art glass is magic )

and had to also take photos of beautiful Kat! in the lovely little alleyway we found. ( pics of Kat! and Ben taking photos of Kat, and us with our faces in the painted board )


and then I found the MOST AMAZING SKIRT EVER and Ben saw the look on my face and declared that we had to buy it. :D I changed into it before the receipt even printed! I love it so so so so so so so so soooooooooooooooooooo MUCH OMG LOVE!!!!!

( pics of Kat and me in my AMAZING SKIRT!!! )

Kat gave me an AMAZING purse which is totally perfect for carrying my camera about in! It is EXACTLY the right size, EXACTLY the right shade, and it is even padded for extra protection! camera, cell, keys, and cards all fit nicely. I've never been so excited about a purse! it couldn't be more perfect if I designed it. The strap is even the perfect length! Unfortunately it doesn't photograph correctly -- it comes out as blue when it is quite violet.

And to wrap up the day, we went to my favorite mexican restaurant because after all, it was Cinco de Mayo! (as if I need an excuse to go there) Sadly, the waiter (a really great guy who often serves us) was quite set on doing his job and stopped us sharing the margarita because Kat didn't have her ID, but we snuck her half of it anyway. ( photos from therrrrrreeee )

Kat arrived right on time -- a little early, even -- despite having lost her ID a few days before! God/dess smiled on us and security didn't give her any crap about it. ;-) We took her straight to my favorite mexican restaurant, had yummy dinners, went home and to bed, and took no photos at all that night. (she was exhausted from lack of sleep and the aftermath of stress)

The next day we lounged around (I got up shamefully late) and after Ben got home we went to Redtop Mountain. (we were going to see Spiderman 3 at the IMAX, but I waited far too late to get the tickets, oh well) It was sooooo incredibly beautiful! I hadn't been in years, and didn't realize how close it is to where I live. We frolicked in a field of daisies (minus Ben), explored a small beach, saw a water moccasin!, watched Kat spin poi fantastically, and clumsily attempted spinning also. (and yes I took a vid of Kat spinning but it's not in this post, ha! :-p)



( many gorgeous photos! )

I don't do 'resolutions.' That's just a fancy word for 'rules' and I'm not into imposing rules on myself. I think the reason so many 'resolutions' fail is that it is human nature to hate being boxed in with rules, self-imposed or not.

but goals? hell yeah I have goals. Things I want to do this year:

• become more of my true self
  
• learn more love and compassion
  
• grow closer to God/dess ♥
  
• learn to listen to my spirit and FOLLOW MY INSTINCTS!!!
  
• further develop my soulfriendships with Nimajneb and Hannah
  
• be more active in changing the world: leave 'you are beautiful' notes, smile more at people, strike up conversation with more strangers, flaunt my body hair, wear curvy-pride shirts and figure-hugging outfits.
  
• create more; making jewelry, painting, drawing, modeling, photographing (! and add a deliberate 'flaw' to remind me that 'flaws' are beautiful!)
  
• post WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT, without worrying that I am going to flood my friends page and my favorite post of the bunch will be ignored. I know that isn't true, and if it is, it's not a good enough reason.
  
• spend more time and effort communicating with my lovely friends; commenting back, commenting on their posts, IMing, and calling. Not any ritual amount, but following instincts instead of being so O-C about doing it 'in order.'
  
• go to Glasgow and meet clown_frog and maybe kashlamar! and of course spend a lot of delighted time with my beautiful soulfriend shioneh!!!
  
• have shioneh and