I've felt so blocked for the past week! I think it may be because I was on a weird schedule (for me) -- going to bed at like 7 or 8 pm and getting up 12 hours later. (I'm actually able to write now since it's past midnight. I am a daughter of the Night!) and I am frustrated because I've been trying to reply to comments but I keep stalling out, and I don't want to get more behind! I know you would forgive me but it bothers me to leave comments unacknowledged.

anyway. I went and applied for the passport, which was so much easier than I thought it would be. I felt very brave, driving to a new place all alone and handling it all without too much stressing out. I talked to strangers comfortably as I waited in line, and then chatted with the (friendly!) lady who handled my application. Yay me! *applauds self*

I've also been decorating myself more -- I went and bought a ton of scarves from goodwill to use as head & hip scarves, and I've been buying makeup here and there. I found this amazing shimmery sheer shadow that works PERFECTLY for my under-eye decoration. I have very thin skin under my eyes and no matter how much sleep I get or how healthy I am, I always have purple there. I used to try to hide it with concealer, but since I no longer believe in concealer I have accepted my purple shadows as part of my face and decorate them instead of trying to hide them. They're now one of my favorite features! With shimmery shadow to highlight them, they make me look quite fey. ( see? )

Also! Hannah's last package finally showed up yesterday so we got on the phone and had a present-opening festival (her b-day is 8 days from mine). We both took photos of our presents 'cause we're like that XD.

( presents from hannahface )

She loved the presents I got her too :D I got her something glow-in-the-dark too, and toys, and a CD, heh -- theme? ;-) We're such wild little children. Every day that passes I get a little more excited about seeing her again. And Nick-n-Kate-n-Meliae! eeeeeeee!!! *hyperhophop*

I want to post about my spirituality -- I keep wanting to, mentally composing entries, and then not doing it. I don't know why! Maybe because I don't fit into any one religion (or even two) so sharing it publicly might make me feel more aware of my aloneness? Maybe because there is just so MUCH and I don't know where to start? I dunno. But that's one of my goals so I hope to get started soon. if you'd be interested, please let me know because I think that would help to motivate me (thanks ever so much a_singularity for your questions! they gave me a good head start on a post).

I made up a little flyer and posted it on the church bulletin board, hoping to find more people around and maybe start a weekly get-together to discuss our similarities/differences/new-thoughts. I've had one person contact me so far, I responded but haven't heard back yet. Hope this works out better than meetup! ;-)

I've had such a full week! Sunday I went to church (*pats self on back for being awake at appropriate time*) and though the service didn't really give me anything, I went for energy healing afterwards and WOW, that was amazing. There were several healers, all of whom had different styles. One person did deep breathing with me, which was intense and so relaxing. She also cleansed my aura, which was the most surreal feeling -- she made plucking motions in the air around me and I could FEEL those things being removed, almost like the feeling when someone pulls a splinter out. More of a noticing of the space it leaves behind than actually feeling the thing itself. I was really curious as to whether she was actually seeing my aura and the bits that didn't belong, or just sensing, but I didn't think to ask afterwards because I was so overwhelmed. After she finished and passed on to another person, my right shoulder suddenly started hurting. The next healer came along and without me saying anything, touched the very spot that was hurting and held it for a minute, and then it stopped hurting. He had a different method, using two fingers of each hand to lightly touch random places on my body, like the inside of my elbows, my neck, my ankles. It felt very honoring, and his energy reminded me so much of Spencer. One more person worked on me, mostly by holding her hands in certain places about three inches out from my body. She passed one hand in front of my face and I thought it was a candle, it gave off so much heat! I opened my eyes, a little concerned at why they'd be putting flame so close to me, but it was her hand! I was really awed by that. After she did the radiating-energy-into-me thing, she stood behind me and swept her fingers over my forehead, around my ears, and under my chin, with a little flicking motion at the end. I cannot describe how amazingly relieving that felt! it was like a complete massage, each time.

Then Tuesday was my 'birthday' ( all the stuff I did! )

Thursday I got up early, which is miraculous in itself, and because of that I was able to get in contact with fionavere and meet her on her way through Atlanta! I drove into the city alone, which is a very big deal for me, and I didn't even get very nervous. I'm really happy about that, as it fulfilled several of my goals in one swoop -- getting more comfortable driving new places alone, making ATL more my city, and most importantly meeting an lj friend! Anyway, we had lunch/coffee together while her two little ones amused themselves (I was impressed at how well-behaved they were! and they got along so well) and the time just flew by as we talked about everything from spirituality to politics to education. The one thing I was not prepared for was how freaking gorgeous she is in person! She's a fellow curvygirls member so I've seen plenty of photos, but in person her self just shines through so much more -- she's beautiful in photos but utterly stunning in person. At the end of the lunch she invited me to come visit her in FL, which I definitely intend to do. Not sure when, but maybe as soon as April! There's just so many people I want to go visit and I don't have the funds for everyone, dammit.


me and Katie!

after 10 years of waiting, today I opened the letter that I wrote to myself when I was 15. (there was a tear in the envelope from when I almost gave in to the temptation of reading it years ago) I'm a little disappointed because I thought I had written predictions, but instead I had described myself as I was then -- complete with a list of favorite bands and likes/dislikes. It's a little embarrassing (oh my obsession with Elijah Wood) and quite a bit funny ("You're not married yet, I hope.") My plan for when I grew up was to "either be a president or an actress, but above all an artist." This was apparently before I decided that responsibility for leading a whole country was too much stress. The whole tone of the letter reminds me SO MUCH of my lil sis. *giggles* She definitely takes after me rather than her parents.

The best part: "I shall dream and learn as much as possible." I would say that that is the only part that is still true. ♥

Thank you to Hannah for my first virtual gift ever! I've been wanting one since they came out and now at last my wish has been fulfilled. ;-)



It's my birthday! send me a bubble of love. (you don't have to sign up -- just click anonymous and add your name to the message itself)

also, since it's spoil-me-day, all comments must be in the form of haiku! (thank kevloid2008 for that :D)

belated Happy Birthday to sabr, _paroxysm_, and delicatexflower! I may have missed saying it, but I saw your names on my little mini-calendar and thought of you all day. *lovelove*

I've been strange lately! waking up at 5am and then falling asleep about 12 hours later! My waking cycle is usually at least 18 hours, not 12. I have no idea why I've been so drained... bleh! but anyway. The penii rant is almost finished & will be posted soon *giggles* thanks to everyone who voted! I was excited to see who was most interested in what.

Last night I dreamed that I met two faeries, one who was about my height, without wings, and had skin that was like mine but opalescent, and a small blue-skinned blue-haired one, about knee height, who had wings and glowed blue with sparkles. The glow had defined edges, it wasn't like the glow of a lamp. The taller one gave me a glowing seed of a tree to plant and the smaller one came along with me to help me plant the seed. We were in Ben's parent's neighborhood (sorta) and one of the houses had a tree that I wanted to show to the faery, so we walked into their side yard. The tree was huuuge, much taller than the house, and some of the branches were partly hollow, with an open-weave side. I was very excited because the faery could live there, and she'd be much closer to my house (which was also in the neighborhood) and the larger faery could live there too. So she climbed it and looked around, also very excited, because it would be a really good home tree. I looked into the house and saw this red-headed girl messing with the fire in the fireplace. She looked like she was amused by something, in a kind of sardonic way. I felt like that was a good sign, and we decided to leave. When we got to the road the tall faery was with us again, and as we were walking by, this really old nasty cranky guy came out of the house and told us that we "better not come back and mess with [his] property anymore." (there was a girl and boy peeking past him at us as he stood in the doorway) I got very angry, but noticing a 'for sale' sign in the yard, I restrained myself and bent over to whisper to the blue faery that it doesn't matter because he's moving soon anyway. He shouldn't have been able to hear me but somehow did and said "oh really? it doesn't matter because we're moving out soon?" and I turned and furiously screamed at him to "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and then we kept on walking. Then we were suddenly in a car, going up the hill, and at the top of the hill we stopped, and started taking stuff out of the car. Some friends had come to meet us and they asked "why are you upset?" so I started telling them the story, and then Ben woke me up.

hm, this has turned into a very dreamy journal lately... I had thought of making a dream journal, but I like seeing where the dreams fit in my life. These recent ones have all had very strong significance, so I haven't lj-cut them, but I may if this keeps up. This is the fourth dream involving trees ♥ and I feel like I am learning something, though I haven't figured out what yet.

Happy Birthday kmiotutsie!!!

You are such an amazing friend and I feel so incredibly lucky to have you in my life! ♥ Thank you for being there for me, and most of all thank you for being your fantastic self -- creative, positive, openminded and adaptive. You inspire me and teach me in ways that no one else can. I love you Firekat!

A few weeks ago I rearranged our bedroom, turning it from a place I hated to a place I love! Ben is much happier too -- now it feels like we have two rooms instead of only the living room. I created a photo-tour of my bedroom, because a video would require clothing due to the mirrors. And this is easier!

( photo-tour of my bedroom )

And now I shriek with joy because OMG PRESENTS!!!! From Kate (clown_frog) and Firekat (kmiotutsie)!!! Kate sent me a glitter bar (YAY!!!! glitter-wearing is so magical ♥), giant purple bath-fizzy ball, HENNA kit (can't wait to try it!), a bunch of stick-on wooden ladybugs (ladybugs always remind me of my childhood, I remember seeing a family of them in the bark of a tree and being absolutely delighted), cinnamon votives (that REALLY SMELL LIKE CINNAMON OMG, and strong too!!! I am going to use them in my sanctuary ♥ ♥ ♥), and best of all, a clear violet glass perfume vial. It is so incredibly delicate and wonder-of-all-wonders, made it here perfectly intact! All the way from Scotland! And that is magic from God/dess if I have ever seen it.

( the delicate violet-tinted vial! )

And from Firekat!!! A Mercedes Lackey book (a staple of fantasy reading, whom I've never tried!), Inga Muscio's Cunt (borrowed and read most of it, now yay I can finish it! plus who wouldn't want Cunt on her shelf?), a GORGEOUS mini-journal with handmade paper and a vivid-violet & burgandy cover, three lovely deep purple agate slices, and... a violet and emerald translucent glass gazing ball!!! also completely undamaged! I am soooooo loved!!! Firekat said she prayed that it would get here safely, and it's perfect. ♥ I'm awed!

( the violet & emerald glass ball! )

On my birthday, Ben took me to the used book store and I got awesome new music, and then SabR and Kazi showed up at the house (I was sooooooo happy because Kazi wasn't feeling well and I was afraid she wasn't going to be able to come but she did!) and after they tortured my poor horny cat for a bit we went out to the mall (blech!) to try to find a snow leopard poster (because I wanted to get one as a birthday present to myself) but had no luck. So we went back home, picked up Ben, and went to O'Charlie's (I had never been). SabR and Kazi love the cheese potato soup there -- they said it was the perfect 'dog slobber' consistency, which made me glad I didn't order it! (but eventually they got me to try it and it was pretty yum) Then we headed over to Ben's parents' house for desert -- they made spice cake for me! :D after yum desert and coffee we got into SabR's car (Vince) and headed out on the 2 hour drive to her house... ending in an insane race down a windy dirt road. >:-[ I was hanging on to the 'oh shit' bar, heh. When we finally got there we checked our respective LJs (HA! I LOVE having friends who understand the appeal of LJ!) and piled into SabR's full-size bed (three adults and a dog!) We cruised youtube for a bit (while I stroked Kazi's hair) before going to sleep. Apparently I banged into the wall all night, but I felt fine!

Next morning SabR scorched me a bagel (and then made a non-burned one) and we went out to this awesome little coffeeshop that sold used books and paintings by a local artist (which were awesome and I am kicking myself for not having my camera!), then headed to her grandparents' ranch. We got stopped by an evil santa who snarled at us for not seeing the sign that he had propped on the wrong side of the road, and debated whether or not to just drive on and make him jump out of the way... but we were good and settled for tearing out when he turned the sign around to 'slow.' Then I got to meet the horses! Jiddan, Hawk, Shetan, and Scarlette. It had been years since I'd been around horses and I was just in awe -- they are such incredible animals. So powerful and so gentle. Scarlette especially -- I just wanted to sit with her for hours and pet her and meditate.

Then John (Kazi's boyfriend) arrived and we all went out for lunch at their favorite mexican restaurant, but afterward Kazi felt really sick and left with John to go home :-( So SabR and I went back to the ranch and she saddled up Hawk for me and put a bareback pad on Shetan for her (so freaking cool, I want to be good enough to be comfortable without a saddle!) and we went riding! I think the last time I had been was about 10 years ago -- holy crap, I'm old! I can say 'it's been a decade since I did such-n-such' :-o anyway, I was very very nervous and rusty, so we just walked the horses and talked... there is nothing like riding a horse. NOTHING can compare, it's so free, so wild! (yes, even walking, heh) I wish I could do it more often... hm, maybe I should look into getting lessons again.

Then SabR drove me all those miles home, and hung out at the house for a bit before making the long drive back. She's so freaking generous, doing all that driving (and she refused to let me help pay for gas, but next time I will for sure). I so loved spending so much time with her and Kazi ♥ Thanks so much for spending time with me on my birthday, girls!

I didn't take any photos on my actual birthday, but I have these from a few weeks ago when Kazi & SabR & Brad came over, so I will share them now!


Kazi & SabR ♥ Bel!

( many photos, much movement-blurriness (which I like! I only dislike unfocused blur, movement blur shows life) )

Thank you to Kate, first person to tell me happy birthday! I loved the text message, it made me feel so special. Thank you to Kimberley, for the Christmas/birthday present of chai tea and awesome book! I have already had a few cups ;-) And thank you to Hannah-love for trying to call me, sorry it didn't work but hey, I'm one of those people that honestly believes it is the thought that counts. And thank you to Brian for calling to wish me happy birthday, that made me absolutely beam. And thank you to firekat for calling in a tizzy over getting the date wrong, hee hee, and I am very happy to be able to anticipate your present! yay mail! And thank you to Kate and Hannah also, I sooooo can't wait for your packages to arrive. And thanks to Meliae and Sidhe and Kevloid and Aulii for the birthday messages!!! I grinned sooooo much reading them! *blows kisses to all of you* ((if you did something and I didn't mention it, please comment and tell me because I don't want to stay forgetting it!))

Happy Birthday shmee_!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! to the most beautiful girl in the world ♥ ♥ ♥ I am so incredibly blessed you have you as my soulfriend; every day of my life is infinitely brighter because of my connection with you. You are my Kehlalili, glowing dance, ever-expressive and passionate. You're the only one who can look into me and just completely connect, no tangles in language separating us.

Your unquenchable thirst for understanding (to know means to record in one's memory; but to understand means to blend with the thing and to assimilate it oneself), your deep, raw compassion, your amazing ability to see life through other's eyes, your willingness to change and your desire to grow... So many times I look at you and I am just in absolute awe that there exists a person like you. I feel so very very lucky to be able to hold your hand as we go over the rough places in life together. I love you, love you, love you.

I know that, for you, this year will be full of growth, love, connection, and ever-increasing inner light. You are so inspiring to me. Thank you for being YOU. ♥

I'm in a poll-y mood and I've been told that I don't post often enough! I thought I posted too much. So let's see what the average opinion is:

Poll #740508
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

how often would you say that I post?

also,
Happy Birthday synisterchyck!!!

You are the bravest, strongest woman I have ever known -- and I don't make sweeping statements lightly. Even when carrying burdens that would be far too much for most people, you manage to find the guts to poke fun at the situation. (and make posts like this!!!) You makes me laugh more than anyone else ever has -- and the entire time I have known you, your life has been very difficult. I am in awe of you, lady. I look forward to meeting you after life because I can't wait to clearly see your intricate, glowing spirit.

and now a mega-belated appreciation post! in random order because I don't remember whose arrived when:

( gorgeous purple silk shoulder bag with shimmery embroidered flowers )
valynn send me this utterly gorgeous bag. It's impossible to photograph correctly, but it's sooooooo beautiful. I immediately started using it when I got it, and I smile and think of Valynn every time I use it. Oh! And she sent it in a purple envelope! ;-D Thank you soooooo much Valynn, it was so very thoughtful. ♥

( Heather Nova CD from Nisha! )invisibleglue sent me this CD, and I promptly listened to the entire thing (re-listening right now). It's more folksy than I usually like, but I really like Heather's voice and turn of phrase (I will be your misfit queen) and I feel just honored that Nisha shared her with me. ♥

( 2 lovely bookmarks, a sparkly dragonfly pin, and a purple etched shell )darkpool send me these two bookmarks (which I had to take out of my two current reads to photograph) which are both so beautiful and so me. The spring green of the butterfly one is a color that means a lot to me, and the celestial patterns of the other one are just so intricate, and appeal to my love of night. The dragonfly is elegant and stylized without losing it's fierceness, and the shell just holds so much mystery to me. Anything oceanic calls to me... I used to daydream of being able to breathe underwater, living in the ocean. Thank you so much for all the thought and love you put into this present, Kyra. ♥

( a thick book and artwork from Kate! )clown_frog blew. me. away. with this amazing Christmas/birthday present. That portrait of me? She painted it. Yeah! And then sent me the original (it's miniature, about 4x5 inches or 10x13cm) The original!!!! The colors are actually more vivid, but I had to take a photo since I don't yet have a working scanner. What really gets me are the eyes... she captured the true color of my eyes without ever seeing them in person. I love this painting so much, I think it is my most treasured material possession. AND she sent a thick book (which I have not yet read because I am simply glutted with reading material lately, I'm in the middle of about 6 books right now) ANDANDAND!!!!! She made a video of herself telling me happy birthday and talking a little and OMG she is so darn cute and I feel soooooooooooooooo special because she's so shy that that was quite a gift! *hugs the floppy* Kate, you are an absolute darling and I adore you! ♥ ♥ ♥ I so can't wait to meet you. ;-)

( a shower of presents from my hannah-love! )shioneh put so much positivity into this package. ;-) The butterfly in the middle was wound up inside the card and flew out, showering me with glitter, when I opened it! I shrieked and then giggled delightedly, of course. And stickers and a gorgeous faery card (filled with glitter and confetti of course) and a fae promise, and the beautiful journal filled with hannah-energy and embossed with a silver dragonfly, which is sort of the 'totem' (forgive me if I misuse the word) of both of us. I am intimidated by that journal though, because it is just so special that I can't bring myself to mark in it... but I will. It meant a lot to hannah and she chose to give it to me, which I view as a very sweet sacrifice which I will not waste. (and dammit I forgot to include the awesome bracelet hannah made me! I will have to photograph it soon)
( the garnet-winged fae and faery box )But my favorite of her gifts is the faery pendant. ♥ hannah has one just like it, which makes me feel connected to her every time I wear my fae. I named her Shylana, and I wear her on a silver chain that drops her right above my heart. I wear her on days when I need to feel connected and strong and full of feminine creative magic. (red is, to me, the color of female power) She made the long trip from Belgium to Georgia in the little green box with a glow-in-the-dark fae on the top. I told hannah of my fascination with glow-in-the-dark things and she remembered and found this little treasure for me. ♥ ♥ ♥ hannah, you shine such a light in my life. ♥

( my updated postcard wall -- no longer all stiff and ordered! with Kate's painting framed in the center )although it's already outdated because I got Nisha's lovely postcard today (thank you lovely!), but my 'rechargable' (hah!) batteries are teh dead so I shall have to take another pic soon. I still have the dreamcatcher Anika made me hanging in my corner... it speaks of love and generosity to me. The friendship may be over, but I no longer feel any anguish over that, and all the good is still cherished in my heart. (I did take the postcard down though -- that one from her city is from someone else. I have limited postcard space and some of you *looks out sternly* still owe me postcards!)
( my desk with all its reminders of love )

I feel like I'm forgetting something important... if you sent me something and I didn't mention it, I know it meant a lot to me but my brain is quite scrambled right now.

Happy Birthday _paroxysm_!!!

You are so awesome in so many ways that I can't even count them!!! I love your bouncy unbreakable spirit. We haven't been friends long, but I know you from curvygirls and that right there is a huge point in your favor. ;-D I hope you have an utterly fabulous day.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand,
Happy Birthday SabR!!!

You're even newer to my flist, but I can tell that you're a fascinating person and I look forward to getting to know you more. I hope you have a wonderful, exciting birthday!

Happy Birthday kevloid2006!!!

Thank you for always being so supportive and encouraging -- and also hilariously teasing. I don't know how you manage it, but your humor never comes off as mocking, just funny and friendly. I so very much appreciate that. You're a great friend, and a lot deeper than you give yourself credit for. Thank you x80million for all the giggles and LOLs you've given me -- and also the fabulous CD! That's right, it got here! I haven't listened to it yet, but I definitely look forward to it, and I was so delighted to get a letter too! So thank you, thank you. And in honor of the funniness, a hilarious icon:

( penis jokes are the best )
And happy slightly-belated birthday to beautymess! You aren't around that much, but I love it when you are. You're amazingly thoughtful, and I LOVED both of the birthday cards you sent. Thank you!

( the rpg quiz -- actually pretty accurate from the people who've taken it so far. Especially mine! I didn't even know there was such a thing as a 'Mystic Theurge' )

And I'd like to say a belated Happy Birthday to phrankenstyne and misemifein2! Phrankey, I'm glad to see ya back here in LJ land. ;-) Kate, I miss you all the time and I am praying a LOT that you get internet next semester. or I may just have to call you up, despite your shyness. ;-)

Yes, I know this is -- *counts* -- 16 days late, but I did not forget, I've thought about it every day since the 29th!

Happy Birthday shmee_!!!
and Happy Birthday dreaded_bliss!!!
(there is definitely something to the whole birthdate-personality thing, I have so many friends in date clusters!)

dreaded_bliss, I don't know you that well yet, but what I do know I like and admire. I hope you had a fabulous birthday, and I hope this year of life brings you amazing growth and joy. ;-)

shioneh! I don't know how to BEGIN to find the words. Really... I've been sitting here for fifteen minutes now. I guess I'll just plunge in...

You are my spirit-twin. I am the most blessed person EVER to have found both my spirit-twin (you) and my soul-twin (Anika), and to have the opportunity to really get to know both of you (and I will have to make a post later explaining what I believe soul and spirit to be). You look at things and feel them in the same way I do -- and how I know that, I don't understand, but I know it so clearly and completely that it is hard for me to remember that you don't share my conscious beliefs, because beneath the conscious level we are SO alike. (which makes me feel really awkward about writing this!)

You are so beautiful, enchanting, inside and out. You are delicate and ethereal, yet also wild and fierce, like a dragonfly. You have a passion for life that I've never seen in anyone else -- for life in all of its beauty and pain, understanding that they are interwoven. Nothing can keep you down for long, because even when you feel hopeless, you never truly despair. You keep looking for a way out, a way up, until it appears and you can breathe again. I admire your intensity, your determination, and most of all your courage. It takes a very, very brave person to look at life honestly and focus on the beauty of it, because when you do, everything intensifies: both joy and pain, victory and loss, hope and fear.

You are the first person I have ever met who has been as open as (or more than?) myself -- and you're five years younger! I find myself learning from you, and I cherish that. My life has been incredibly deepened and enriched just by knowing you, seeing your unabashed passion -- you have freed me in many ways to accept my own seemingly naive views. We both know that living deeply and loving unreservedly brings pain -- but we know that it's worth it. Thank you for living out loud, my wonderful spirit-twin. ♥

aaaaaiiiiiieeee! You guys are the BEST FRIENDS anyone could EVER hope to have!!!!!! Thank you all x 80million for your delightful birthday wishes, emails, and shout-outs! (I am such a sucker for shout-outs. Srsly. (and yes, I pronounce 'seriously' without any vowels))

For my birthday, I got up ridiculously late. Despite the fact that he was very tired, Ben drove me to the used book store, where I used some of my credit, and the thrift store, where I found some awesome things: a rennaisance-style metal tankard, a headscarf, a round glass bottle, a miniature white ceramic urn, and a rough square glass jar, which declared to me that it was meant to house my crystals. I took it seriously. (and I got a few more things and STILL only spent $6)

Then we went over to Ben's parents' house, where elya made me a spice cake (the only kind of cake I like), Ms. K made meatloaf (which I used to hate until I tried hers, which is yum), AND guacamole (to eat with salsa & tortilla chips)!!! There is nothing better than fresh guac, I tell ya. And Ms K bought my favorite creamer (international delight cinnamon hazelnut) and starbucks coffee -- she made a pot for while I was there and gave me the rest of the bag as part of my birthday present. I was so blessed by all the thoughtfulness. ♥

Rebecca gave me PURPLE fluffy socks with a foot-scrub-lotion (which I am very excited about, 'cause I am plotting to get Ben to use it on me -- I looooove foot massages). elya gave me cherry-pomegranate juice (mmm YUM), a birthday balloon with a very pretty DRAGONFLY on it, incense sticks (oooh, ahhh) and a lavender tape dispenser. ;-) I love presents that show that the person knows me well. And Ms K gave me money to use at the used book store ;-) and a blockbuster gift card, and of course the coffee, and cinnamon candies. They all put so much thought into it, I loved it.

Thank you shioneh, frenetik, jedibubbles, beautymess, scream_baby, invisibleglue, maladroitkat, darkpool, eternitywaiting, alariya, phrankenstyne, kmiotutsie, 12thknight, and aslan_fan for your wonderful words. ;-) You all blessed me so much. And thank you Nisha and Ashley for calling also -- Nisha, it was so great to hear you! You have such an adorable accent! You guys just blow me away. ♥

Happy Birthday lilerthkwake!!!

(I've recently said this semi-privately, but it bears repeating!) This woman is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. And I mean that spiritually (although she's gorgeous on the outside too!) -- the more I learn about her the more I am floored by her incredible generosity of spirit. She seems to be completely herself, which I love and admire. She's just stunning. AND she's a brilliant writer! I don't usually read fiction onscreen, but I couldn't help but read hers; it sucked me in.

Excuse me for a moment while I

freak out!!!

eternitywaiting IS COMING TO VISIT FOR A WHOLE FREAKING WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!
and it's all thanks to alariya, who paid for her plane ticket!!!!!
when I thanked her for being THE BEST PERSON EVER, she said cheerily, "Happy (early) Birthday!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA, I GOT AN ANIKA FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! And my friends, there is no better gift. ALL MINE!!!!! Oh I feel so freaking... there just isn't any word or stream of words that suits. alariya, you are such an awesome friend -- you have SUCH a generous heart. I know you did this mainly for Anika and I, thinking of us first. Just wow. ♥ ♥ ♥

And I am so glad that I have two days to adjust to the idea. Because I'm only spontaneous when it's my idea. heh. Yes, I am a recovering control freak, okay? She's going to be here MONDAY -- OMG OMG!!!!! I'm getting all jittery just thinking about it!

*jitters with excitement* green couch conversations... visiting the greatest used book store ever... cuddles... watching Foxfire... I am so stream of consciousness!

AND we're going to do photos! including work-safe ones! Hopefully with storeyphoto!

okay I'll stop now. ;-D

Happy Birthday eternitywaiting!!!

There just aren't words to explain how much I love you! You're my soul-twin, it is uncanny how much we are alike (I even have the same bra size now, btw!) -- and I love that because for the longest time I felt like the only one of my species. We have our differences of course -- my hated color is your favorite, which has taken some adjustment on my part, heh. (I have ORANGE in my journal right now, omg!) You are the most open-minded person I've ever met, and I adore that. This is a bit painful to write because whenever I focus on how wonderful you are I get so sad that you are so far away and I can't spend the time with you that I want to. But you know what? I need to appreciate the Anika-ness that I have. I love having you in my life. I love talking with you about anything, 'cause I know you're going to listen and respect my opinion, even considering altering your own opinions if I say something that you hadn't thought about. And at the same time, I know I can trust you to be completely honest with me -- even if you think it might offend me. Do you know how rare that is? Of course you do. ;-) I adore how passionate you are, how wild and open and colorful and true you are. Next time I see you, I'm not wasting my time trying to be anything other than completely honest and in-the-moment. And I'm sure you will be too, and we just might make the world explode from so much purity of energy. I can't wait!

I treasure you. ♥