I firmly believe that the only reason anyone ever hurts someone else is because they have been hurt. It's a cycle of pain -- we all have brokenness, and our brokenness causes us to hurt others. For this reason, I think it disturbing that we lock people away (which causes them MORE brokenness) and don't do anything to heal them before releasing them into society again. It's treating the symptom, not the cause. I understand that it would be terribly costly to give them help, and that it would be unfair to all of the broken people who have not committed crimes and cannot afford help -- but at the same time, the most compassionate, giving, wise people are the ones who have been deeply broken, done hurtful things to themselves and others, and then been healed. If we truly worked on healing the broken, we would have an incredible resource of wise people to learn from.

We might not be able to afford counseling, at least at first, but we could help heal the broken by giving them the chance to serve. It is such a healing experience to give, and I think many broken people feel that they have nothing to give, and so do not experience this healing. When you give to someone, you are opening the doors of your heart -- then those same doors are open to receiving gratitude and love. For a person who has been rejected by society and placed into jail (or detention), feeling a positive connection with people is absolutely vital. Someone who feels they are going to continue being mistreated and distrusted is not going to take the risk of growing, of finding better ways to live, but someone who feels that there is at least a chance of them being loved and accepted just might be willing to take that risk. We need to show people in prison that they do have a chance of being a productive, accepted, loved member of society.



"Juvenile offenders start life over with a crochet hook"

These people have attempted murder, destroyed people's property, sold drugs, etc. But given the chance to create and to give to others, something changes in them. It's not perfect, of course, but it is a large improvement over the norm: once released, 85 percent stay out -- far up from the national average of 50 percent. The article describes one person's experience in particular: "To see his eyes well up with emotion about the smiles his blankets have brought a needy elderly man and a toddler in a day-care center is to witness genuine tenderness." That person, Branden, was in for attempted murder, and for the first year and a half of his time there refused to join the program. Now he has created more blankets than anyone else, and speaks with real hope about his future.

I hope that people take notice and use the power of giving to change the lives of all inmates, not just the young ones. I believe all people deserve that chance.

((note: I found this article through the Good News Network, a site that collects positive news from other publications. Anyone can submit, so if you regularly read the news, please submit any positive news you find! You can also add the site's feed on LJ: good_news_net))

LJ idol topic 4: "Current Events" ((feel free to vote here if you get something from this post))

I have been just... FIREY lately. It's like I had to restrain all of my fire for a while so that I could learn how to use it properly, and now I have learned enough to let it (mostly) free again. I think it is very important to be honest, but also very important to be compassionate, and balancing those two qualities can be difficult.

In this struggle for balance, I have learned the supreme importance of vagueness. If someone shows me, say, a painting that holds great importance to them and I find it utterly hideous, I don't have to describe in detail how just glancing at it makes me want to throw up on it just to make it more attractive. Instead, I can just scrunch up my face and say, "I don't really like it." Usually they don't ask for more detail because my facial expression is eloquent enough. So I am getting across how I truly feel, without saying something that would hurt (it might hurt just that I don't like it, but I'd rather unintentionally hurt someone than deliberately deceive them with a lie they would like). I think it's honest to give someone a watered-down version of your opinion, as long as it still gives them the correct basic impression.

I've been overly watered down for a good while, and I am now realizing that part of that was because I was afraid of offending certain people (although some of it was because of genuine good will). But it was a good discipline, and I'm glad I chose it -- and I'm glad I'm out now. I feel so incredibly strong: my inner cobra has re-awakened. People will always take offense, no matter how delicately you tread, and I am not the type to enjoy treading delicately. I quite enjoy stomping. *stomp stomp* But I shall try to reserve my stomping for lies, not the people who believe in them. It's often a hard line to draw, and I am sure I will fail many times. But I'm willing to err on both sides now, rather than only on the side of caution/compassion -- I'm also willing to err on the side of too-blunt.

Speaking of compassion, I think possibly the strongest measurement of compassion is how you respect other's pain. If you tell someone to 'suck it up,' you are invalidating their pain, when you have no idea what they are going through. Everyone is different, everyone has different sore points. Obviously if someone high-fives a healthy person, it's not going to bother them one bit. But if that person happens to have a hand with several broken bones, the pain will incapacitate them. So if someone cries because a stranger gave them a dirty look, that doesn't mean they are 'oversensitive' -- it means that they have so much other pain in their life that that one act just made it too much. I don't believe there is a such thing as 'oversensitive' as it relates to pain. If you feel something, you feel it, and you can't control it so obviously you can't feel 'wrongly' or 'too much.' (however, I do think people can be oversensitive as relates to offense, because offense IS something you control and choose) I used to be the type of person who would think "omg, I can't believe you're upset over that" because I used to stifle all of my own feelings so I expected others to do likewise, and if they didn't then they were 'weak' or 'oversensitive.' I am so. fucking. glad. that I am no longer that person. I am unashamed of my own pain -- even to the point of shedding tears in public -- and because of that, I can respect other people's pain.

( this song has very deep meaning to me and I think it fits this entry, so: here is 'Feel' by Michelle Tumes )