Belenen (belenen) wrote,

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22 more days.......

Until I get to have my fill of wild sex, both lovemaking and fucking!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so impatient!!! (so I guess it's good that I'm so busy and can't see Ben that often)

      Last night, I called Kaylene and she sounded kinda down and said she wanted to do something with me, so Ben and I went and picked her up, and headed to Roswell to hang with her and her boyfriend Josh. He was cool enough, but shortly after we got there his friend called; apparently he had forgotten plans with this person. So he and Kaylene left... She offered to spend time with Ben and I while Josh went there and back, but that was going to be an hour and Ben didn't want to, so we didn't. Then she said she'd call me.... and didn't. But now, when she says that, I ignore it, even though she usually adds a qualifier. She tends to forget. So, either I'll get more casual about it, or she'll be more careful about saying that. *shrug*

      Miss K's brother is in town. I no lika him. In fact I REALLY wish I could tell him my opinion of him and have it register, but there is no point. I have dealt with that type. I want to say,

      "You are an arrogant, self-centered, close-minded man; so convinced of your own righteousness that you'd argue with God if he came to you Himself and told you you were wrong.
      You raised your son to be arrogant and self-centered, and even though I can see him trying to escape your influence, you squelch his good attributes because YOU don't have them. He wants to be open-minded; you teach him to have no opinions but yours. He wants to be compassionate; you teach him to think only of himself. He wants to respect women; you teach him to treat women as inferiors, to be controlled and used.
      I am sorry for Rebecca and Joel, because even though you love them you treat them terribly. I am disgusted with your complete lack of ability to respect other humans. I'm sick of you taking offense at my every little thing, while your every word is offensive. Have you EVER respected anyone? You criticise me, oh-so-thinly-veiled, to my face, while I cannot defend myself, nor can Ben speak up without you calling him pussy-whipped. You think that a man who is willing to stand up for his wife is weak. I would curse you, but God would take me seriously. And though I'd gladly see you suffer, I wouldn't want to harm Joel, Rebecca (who is poisoned against me beacuse of you), or the baby. I can see how Rebecca envies me; my man respects me and wants me to be myself, while you control and demean her by making her be what you desire.
      Lastly, what I most despise about you is your lack of desire to improve, which is evidenced in your stagnant lifestyle and parochial views. You waited until age 40 to marry, and you claim that was wise -- in fact the only course of action. Why? You are unable to change, and afraid of the responsibilities of a relationship. WELL I'M NOT, so go to hell if you wish. Satan is delighted with how you have trapped yourself, I'm sure. I might pray for you, just because people I love love you, and without my prayers I can't imagine you turning to God. I'm the only one who would pray for God to kick your ass until you give up your pride and fear. But I'll probably not pray until a year from now, by which time I will have told you exactly what I think."

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