I had no idea what it was like to be listened to, reeeeally listened to. Before tonight that is. And I know it sounds odd, 'cause I'm married to the best man ever, but ms. alariya has a talent for it.
I wonder if this is what my friends felt like when I listened to them... if so, no wonder they soak it up. If not, I need to work on my listening skills, 'cause this is like a drug, and it's so damn good and cleansing. I felt a little guilty, but I just poured it out, and for once it felt received rather than just released. She didn't even respond much, but I knew she wasn't zoning out or thinking about anything else, she was totally focused on me.
I was just the receiver this time; I've never ever ever been that before. (mostly 'cause it's just my pattern to be the giver, so I fall naturally into that role) This is totally new for both of us: she's never approached someone else for a relationship, and I've never been approached. I've discovered that it makes you feel so comfortable when you're the one being approached, because you don't have to worry about whether they really want to spend time with you or are just humoring you.
We curled up together on her bed and watched "Playing By Heart"... she petted my back and hair and just made me feel so loved and comforted... She's the only friend I've ever felt absolutely comfortable cuddling with. I know without any doubt that she's comfortable with being hugged and touched, so I can be comfortable snuggling up against her legs or petting her hair.
And y'know, that movie affects everyone different(ly). (haha, inside "Playing By Heart" joke!) alariya was most touched by the Mildred/Mark relationship, Allison was most touched by the Meredith/Trent relationship, and I of course love the Joan/Keenan relationship. Go see that movie, y'all, it's awesome.
There was more I wanted to say, but "as the british say, 'I'm daggered.'"
P.S. If you haven't yet, please respond to my necklace design poll.