Please don't tell me that I'm fine the way I am or that my culture is fine and I shouldn't try to be something I'm not... I know I'm fucked up and I know I have racism and I KNOW that and I'm trying to get over it, really I am. But white culture is incredibly boring, stiff, colorless, dull, lying, for the most part. There are wonderful subcultures, I know... but.
I love Paula and Spencer and my brother and William and my babygirl so very much but I try hard never to think about them because it always, always makes me cry. I'm writing this entry blind with tears. I wish I wish I could just LET IT GO.