July 2018
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dream (missing class, not finding my identity)

I dreamed that Ben and I were living on a campus and it was incredibly beautiful (in Florida or California) with tropical breezes -- the perfect temperature. There were huge fountains with thick blue water, just gorgeous. I went to our apartment in a hotel-like suite (with huge windows and sliding glass doors) and I was thinking how amazing it was that this was part of God's plan for us; everything was exactly how I wanted it, exactly what would please me the most.

Ben came home on his lunch break to take me to a class that Patricia (my counselor) was teaching and since we got there early we decided to give this girl a ride home. So we left to take her home, but we got distracted and ended up going to the grocery store. I couldn't decide whether or not to buy doughnuts, but Ben had already left the store with them so I had to pay for them. By that time it was too late to go to class, so we went home, and as we were walking up the stairs to our suite, phrankenstyne and kevloid2008 were in the hallway with a girl that looked kind of like Rachel Truitt and kind of like maladroitkat. phrankenstyne was complaining that he and kevloid2008 had started out with F's and then because I got them interested in the class (or something) they had brought their grades up. He said that maladroitkat (who was doing an art project with scraps of paper on a poster on the floor and not paying any attention to him) and I were those kind of people who had an A average and were so cocky we didn't bother to go to the last class. (the class was fairly large, about 40 people that I really cared about and knew very well because of what the class was about)

Then I realized it was the last class and I was very upset and started crying. Suddenly I was at home (my literal current home) laying on my bed crying and crying -- it just kept getting worse. It was so bad it felt like I was throwing up, I was actually heaving, and Ben and maladroitkat were there and maladroitkat mentioned that she'd never seen anybody hurt like that, and she asked why I was crying. I said that couldn't find my ID -- she asked what I meant by ID, and I told her it meant both Identity and Individual Destiny. I was crying so deeply that I woke myself up, and cried in real life. I was disappointed because I wanted to finish mourning -- even though I wasn't quite sure what it was I was mourning.

I definitely plan to talk about that dream with Patricia... and it is unusual that I would dream about three LJers that I've never met.

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kouhaataru ══╣╠══
Man I feel sorry for you having to type in all those lj user tags... *cough

Well anyway that last part... that's definitely something to remember (at least for me) "individual destiny" hmm... Unfortunately, though I somehow feel like I understand the meaning and significance of the whole thing it somehow escapes me as though something is holding me back from recalling it. Sort of like you've just reminded me of a door that I used to be able to go through but I can't remember where the key is... hmm...

Well if you later understand the significance of that please do me a favor and share it with me so that I can perhaps remember what it is that reminded me of.

In the meantime I will say that something I do remember is that generally dreams having to do with a person's ID (another definition of it that I can't remember though) are messages about straying from... is it just reality or "the real you" or, that your suboncious is trying to remind you that you've forgotten something important, or trying to give you a message...

For instance something a bit different, I had a dream where I fought against my doppelganger and I thought it was going to kill me in the end. But then I realized that I was fighting against my fear itself and I laughed. With that laugh I was able to defeat my doppelganger and I personally learned an important lesson. That being, one's only real enemy is fear. Also that laughter defeats fear so that goes to show how weak it really is. Something like that.

You know actually, I am quite bothered by my forgetfullness lately however there seems to be nothing I can do about it at present as the things I tried didn't really turn out properly. hmm...

belenen ══╣shimmering╠══
Man I feel sorry for you having to type in all those lj user tags... *cough
Copy and paste, my friend, copy and paste. ;-)

That's really interesting that you should say that it reminded you of something just beyond your conscious mind -- in the dream I felt like there was a 3rd meaning for ID, but I couldn't think of it.

laughter defeats fear so that goes to show how weak it really is.
Wow, that's profound. You have a fascinating subconscious!

When I get an interpretation I'll be sure to share.
carodus ══╣╠══
to be honest it sounds like the 'problems' you are struglling with in life are manifesting themselves in your dreams. Your struggle to re-define yourself and to discover who you are and what you want from life, is your over-riding drive at the moment -- and this is reflected in your dream-time.

You are on the right path to redefining your sense of self and self-worth. *HUG*

But just remember its not 'tested' - you aren't going to be graded on who you are. This is something that you seem (from what you have said in your dream) to subconsciously be worried about. People will and do love you for who you are.
sidheblessed ══╣ponr╠══
Re: dreams
Aye, I think this was well put.
belenen ══╣╠══
Re: dreams
evileve ══╣╠══
I dream about random LJ peopoe all the time.
They represent something?
belenen ══╣shimmering╠══
I think they do represent something -- certain LJers I consider friends, others aquaintances, and those three were aquaintances, and I hadn't been thinking a lot about them -- so they must have represented something. I haven't quite figured out what.
blackdragonflie ══╣╠══
Hmm, that is a very unusual dream indeed... but it does sound important, so it’s good that you wrote it down. Only you can know for sure, but if I had to guess I'd say that is sounds like you are experiencing a new phase to your life and you are feeling sadness and loss over your past identity. Perhaps you feel uncertain about the future and where you want it to take you.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
hmmm... that is an interesting idea... I shall have to ponder it. ;-)
shespoke ══╣╠══
Next time you should dream about me. It'll make it all better. :)

But on a serious note. I would definitely agree about talking with Patricia about this dreaming. It's definitely something if you're crying in the dream and then ALSO waking up crying in real life. At least you know that you were crying about a loss of identity. I'm sure once you'll talk to her you'll realize that you really do know who you are, and the parts that you're still discovering will come in time.

Much love. But next time, just dream about me. We can go have fun at the beach and make sand sculptures and then watch the waves come and clear them away for us to draw all over again.
belenen ══╣giggling╠══
hee hee, I totally agree. The people I dreamed about are cool, but they aren't the ones on my mind the most, which was why it was weird to me that they were there.

I'll share Patricia's thoughts on the dream when I ask her about it.

Oh so fun! We should dream-go to the beach at midnight under a full moon -- the ocean is so beautiful then.
kevloid ══╣╠══
I've dreamt about people I've never met. sometimes I've dreamt about people who I've never seen a picture of. in those ones I remember them as ghosts - just entities without faces or features. weird.

I'm not sure if WE (the lj'ers) have any meaning in the dream. we could just be extras. it does seem like you're equating lj with school in some way, though. I dunno.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
Actually, I don't think I've seen a photo of you or phrankenstyne -- you both clearly had faces and forms in the dream, but thinking back, I have no idea what you looked like. I can kind of see, but it's hazy. I feel like I'd recognize you if I met you on the street though.

I think you represented something, I'm just not sure what.
kevloid ══╣╠══
wandrlost ══╣╠══
if you're interested, there are a number of dream interpretation sites out there... www.dreammoods.com (i think is one) or just google "dream interpretation."

my opinion of the sites are kind of mixed. on one hand, all dreams are unique to the person, so generalized interpretations (especially from a web site where anyone could be making this stuff up) is rather suspect.

on the other hand (and thank god i only have 2), i am a firm believer in Jungian archetypes -- those dream images/psychological myth figures/etc that are part of our universl consciousness have a lot to say about our psychological states. now THAT is something that you may want to look into. had i more than 30 seconds, i'd be looking up archtypes for you -- because it IS a very interesting, and potentially revealing dream. especially with so much emotion attached to it. but i don't. and am running out the door.

still, thanks for sharing.
belenen ══╣curious╠══
wow. I just found this at dreammoods.com -- To see your bed in your dream, represents your intimate self and discovery of your sexuality. If you are in your own bed... you are looking for domestic bliss and peace That explains a lot! And it makes perfect sense.

I think dreams are very personal, but I think there are some general symbols that may or may not apply to each dream.

I'm not sure what Jungian archetypes are... want to explain?
wandrlost ══╣╠══
juansrx ══╣╠══
The dreams I hate to leave(whe happens to me the sam that happened to you), are the romantic dreams when you have a significant moment with your beloved one, and you wake up in a silly world were everybody thinks that you are just a piece of this puzzle.

RElax and stand up!!, patiente can give you a lot of good things(even the campus).

mata ne!, shalom!. bye bye and arrivederci!z/i>
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
thank you! I try to be patient -- I'm not very good at it.
juansrx ══╣*glm1╠══
Juansrx`s Cafe
Feel free to go to my community: "Juansrx`s Cafe", username:juansrx2

It`s a proyect to make aa place to speak about everything you want, we`ll also have contests, drawings, conferences, commedy, news, a little of everything, the entrance is free!!.
maladroitkat ══╣╠══
Isn’t it weird how some dreams can have such a big impact on a person? I’d like to hear your interpretations about the dream; do you think it was “just a dream,” or do you think it meant something. . .?

At any rate, I hope I provided some comfort to you in your dream.

Take care, Bel.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
oh, I definitely believe it means something... my dreams have always been powerful, and have often fortold the future (I dreamed about being married to Ben at least three times before we were even "together").

You did provide some comfort, in an odd way, just by being there. You made my sorrow feel validated somehow.

Side note -- do you prefer to be called Kat or Ash?
maladroitkat ══╣╠══
phrankenstyne ══╣Job╠══
I hope I didn't cause you too much distress.

It would have been nice to have someone like you around to motivate me to do my work when I was in school. I wasn't an F student, but I wasn't much above a C student either. . .damn homework. Why couldn't I get away with just doing the tests and class work and not having to do the farging homework. . .

Thank you for sharing, and maybe next time you dream about me, I'll be nicer to you.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
oh, no, I wasn't distressed by you -- just by the realization that it was the last class. I felt a little guilty that I had let you down, though.

Heh heh, next time we'll go to the movies or something. ;-)
aubkabob ══╣╠══
wow. let me think over this one and i'll see what i can come up with regarding an interpretation *hugs* the part about Individual Destiny blew my mind!

I used to have dreams all the time about lj'ers that i have never met. funny how that works!
belenen ══╣caffeinated╠══
oooooh awesome. Can't wait to see what you think!

The oddest thing is that the LJers weren't the ones I'm closest to! I think they must have represented something, but I have yet to figure out what.
aubkabob ══╣╠══
abstractfish ══╣╠══
I've never woken up crying before, but I once woke up by punching my wall. I can't wait to find out patricia's interpretations of that dream.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
me either!
juansrx ══╣*mtl╠══
Don´t be shy!!, write something in my journal!!, please!!, It can´t be SO bad!!
ohsaycanyousay ══╣╠══
That reminds me, you were in a dream I had a couple of months ago. I don't really remember it much anymore, but I think you were a fairy.
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
oooooh, how cool is that???
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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.