July 2018
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dream (black & white guy intruders hold me hostage, nicely / yet another 'fish out of water' dream)

(Ben took dictation for me)

I dreamed that I went to a hotel, and I was waiting for Ben. All the sudden I realized the door wasn't locked, so I got up and started to lock it at the same time somebody started trying to push their way in. I kept pushing and turning the lock and I got that person to go away because I slammed his fingers in the door. But then these other two guys came, one black and one white, and they worked together and got the door open. They came in, and they were both very polite and they were intending on only robbing, no harm to me. I was asking them why they were doing that and they got me to go lay down out of the way. Either I was pregnant before they came in or got pregnant by one of them, but I was pregnant either way. (It was not through rape; I had apparently chosen to sleep with one of them, but had no memory of it.) The had decided to move in rather than rob the apartment, and I was being held sort of like a hostage.

(...another scene) I was in the apartment and I had had my baby and it was a boy. He was about 5-8 years old. He said he wanted curly hair like his dad, and he said the black guy's name. I wasn't sure who was the father, and thinking of their features to determine which would match the son's more. But the kid had curly hair, although it wasn't very curly. So I told him that he could ask God for hair like that, but God knows what was best, so whatever God thought he would look best as, he would have. My son listened and agreed.

(...another scene) My baby had already been born, and she was laying on the bed, and she saw me and reached for me. I picked her up and held her. I had a very strong thought -- she knows me. The baby had naturally dark skin, hispanic or black.

(...scene switches) We were at a big picnic, and Rachel's family was there. Rachael said she was sorry she missed my call; she was planning on calling me back. I said, "yeah, do call me, because I need to talk to you."

...In another part of the dream, while I was still in the apartment, I was taking care of a fish. I had just realized its water was dirty, so began changing the water, and they had all these little baby fish. There had originally been one fish, but then there had been two, and a whole lot of babies. I dumped out all the fish except the two big fish, and started to refill the water but I didn't have anything but tap water. So I set them down and went to look for more good water. I had just obtained some from a creek when I heard them squeaking, so I ran over and picked them up and put them in the water.

I have so many dreams about fish out of water -- it's ridiculous. And it's never the same exact dream, but I'm always looking for water to put the fish in before it dies.

sounds: Mukala: "Stranger than Fiction"
connecting: ,

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misemifein2 ══╣╠══
I read the first two sentences and had to get up to lock my door, I'm that easy to make nervous!

I used to have lots of dreams about having a baby, but it would always be wrong, like it would turn into something else, or it would start talking, like it was grown-up (not my cute little baby), and in one dream it was taken away from me, I was searching for it everywhere. And I've had a couple of dreams about fish having babies, but that'll be because I used to keep fish, and they'd have babies. Your dreams reminded me of mine.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
dreams about being pregnant or having babies are supposed to symbolize an aspect of yourself that is developing, or the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal. It always being wrong somehow seems to signify that you feel that if you allow parts of you to grow or develop, they'll be taken away or turn into something that you don't want them to be.

I recently found http://www.dreammoods.com and I find all the symbolism fascinating.
misemifein2 ══╣╠══
I'm not sure that I believe in dream symbolism at all- because whenever I dream I can usually pick it apart and find that it is all things inspired from what i've been thinking about recently or things that have happened. Even the weirdest dreams... just made up of parts.

Except for the thing I do think strange in dreams is when I meet a person (always a guy) who I can feel is really evil, just malicious, and scares me. I had lot of dreams like that when I was at the flat the past few nights, lot of murder and nasty things. It made me worry that there were somekind of spirits in the flat to do that to my dreams. Though the night Tim stayed over I don't remember any dreams like that, so probably it was just me being worried about being on my own in the new flat. I do get scared of being alone at night, in the dark.
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.