July 2018
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self-confidence milestone (body image)

I went to Wal-Mart the other day, and at the customer service desk I chatted with the girls for a bit, about my much shorter hair, and other things. Then one girl asks me,

"Are you pregnant?"

Slight pause, I laugh a little and say no, and she gets that look on her face that says omg-I-can't-believe-I-did-that. Then she says, "Are you sure?" and I say casually, "No, I'm just bloated" (on the first day of my period all my ab muscles refuse to work at all) and then the other girl changes the subject.

And I didn't even feel self-conscious. Read that sentence a few times! I didn't even suck it in! I wasn't angry, I wasn't worried that I looked 'fat,' I didn't go home and cry, or even stress about how I looked. That's me almost being totally okay with having a round belly! Almost completely unconcerned with how others see me!

Reflecting on this, I feel like I own the universe. Because I do. The power to create life rests within the belly of the woman, and what greater power is there?

My wonderful darling lovely shespoke gave me "The Woman's Belly Book," can you tell? I only did the breathing exercises once so far, and that once was enough to change my life. I'm going to make it a part of every day. I started treating my body with respect and deliberately accepting my belly, standing in front of the mirror and caressing it and (don't laugh) complimenting it. And my sex drive shot up! I don't know yet if my belly is actually the home of my spirit, as the book seems to imply, but I have certainly experienced a positive change. I'm definitely going to keep using this book.

feelings: powerful
sounds: India Arie: "(Not The Average Girl From Your) Video"

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pendarves ══╣╠══
I'm really happy for you :) I think you are a beautiful person - and I'm so glad that you are realising this for yourself :) HUG
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
thank you! *hugs back*
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
Well I've already congratulated you over at curvygirls but I'll applaud you again here anywya!
curvygirl 3
belenen ══╣curvygirl 3╠══
hee hee, thanks!
untoldeuphemism ══╣╠══
I am not even close to being there yet. I wish I were though. This is so awesome. =)
curvygirl 3
belenen ══╣curvygirl 3╠══
I think so too! You should join curvygirls. ;-)
writer_lilies ══╣╠══
I'm almost there, but I would've likely slapped her into the next decade if she asked me that. That's a big sore spot for me for some reason. So yeah, I'm almost there. ^^;
belenen ══╣analytical╠══
o.0 ! Maybe it has to do with the fact that you never want to do the mom thing?
writer_lilies ══╣╠══
No, it's just that the moment I started to get a gut (and after the breast reduction) people would poke me and ask if I was pregnant. Or just poke in implication. Look, if I was, I still wouldn't want people touching me. Pregnant or big belly doesn't mean "HEY RUB ME FOR GOOD LUCK!" There's this girl who asks me every time she sees me if I'm pregnant. My favorite was "Who impregnated you?" Hindsight told me to say "Your boyfriend." I'm glad I rarely see her.
belenen ══╣giggling╠══
lol @ the "rub me for good luck!" ;-)
writer_lilies ══╣╠══
Poeple are whacked out like that though. I don't know why they think it gives them free reign to invade other people's bubble like that.
brianfey ══╣╠══
Good girl! Love you! Yay!
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
thanks! ;-)
nikare ══╣╠══
More proof that you're becoming stronger.
belenen ══╣shimmering╠══
That's how I took it!
sing_dream_love ══╣╠══
I have never heard of this book until now, it sounds very intresting though. I am definitely going to have to check it out. Thanks for the info. :-)
curvygirl 3
belenen ══╣curvygirl 3╠══
Oh, it's fantastic, you'll love it!
boobiequeen ══╣╠══
My first thought when reading this was...

"I want to rest my head on her belly and I want her to pet me NOW!"...*mope*

Maybe you have a strong chakra there, in your belly, like I do! We did chakra work in my voice in movement class. Not sure if you're familiar...but I'll find some materials and do a little write up for you. My belly makes me horny...touching it, etc.
curvygirl 3
belenen ══╣curvygirl 3╠══
awww! One of the 'exercises' in the book involved laying in a line with your head on another girl's belly, and each saying 'ha' with force, like a domino effect. I SO want to try that! I think it would be SO much fun and very healing.

Hm! I don't know anything about chakras, but I'm curious and would love to read whatever you wanna tell! Post about it!
tremontidood ══╣╠══
hehe...yikes. That happen to me once...only is was joke from my friends who told me someone was pregnant, and when i was getting to know her, i asked "So when is your baby due?".....the most embarrising thing i prob ever done...i was speechless lol
belenen ══╣upset╠══
oh no! That was so bad of your friends to set you up like that!
savala_the_mad ══╣╠══
yes yes yes
love it. i used to work at mode magazine -- if you remember it, it folded a few years ago -- and remember having so many AHA moments just looking at the pictures and meeting the models. i'm so glad this community is one LJ. bodacious and curvacious is beautiful, no doubt about it. congrats on your WalMart victory. And what is The Womans Belly Book??
belenen ══╣curious╠══
Re: yes yes yes
oh wow, lucky you! So did you get to meet Kate Dillon or Valerie Lefkowitz? Or my favorite, Crystal Renn? I'd love to get to meet those girls. ;-)

The Woman's Belly Book is a collection of facts about the belly and some yoga-type philosophy and breathing exercises -- you can read about it here: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0974548111/qid=1125914306/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/104-7669713-2912757?v=glance&s=books
It's a fabulous read.
elvenforever ══╣╠══
That's a great idea! Especially because *I* have a large belly and it isn't going away anytime soon, in spite of exercise. It is hard to truly love my body in the horrendous shape that it is in, but I guess acceptance is the first motivation for change.
curvygirl 3
belenen ══╣curvygirl 3╠══
I truly believe that it is. I think that until you can accept your body as it is, weight loss will only be a temporary solution, because for many women, being overweight is just a symptom of a larger problem.

Surrounding yourself with images of healthy curvy women and refusing to look at images of airbrushed fashion skeletons is VERY helpful. Right now I'm overweight because I have been pretty much inactive for the last five months, but I'm okay with myself even now. That's a huge step for me, and I really believe it has to do with me being in curvygirls, and training myself to recognize beauty in real women. You should check out the community!
sky_falls_down ══╣╠══
that is so wonderful! i am very proud of you.
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
invisibleglue ══╣Tori╠══
I've started to get a snuggly tum..I think they're cute.
curvygirl 3
belenen ══╣curvygirl 3╠══
me too. ;-)
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.