September 5th, 2003


This is sickening.

I just wrote, and it got gobbled by the great green void. I'll write what I still care about.

I really wanna go to the last Benjamin Gate concert, but I'm not sure if Nimajn wants to, and I don't want to manipulate him. He hates to displease me, so if he thinks that I'm gonna be displeased, he clams up and I have to squeeze the truth out of him. And 14 hours each way is a lot of driving, even carpooling. We'll see. I'll cry if I don't get to see them play once more before they break up. I mean it. Cry, weep, and wail. AND whine!!!!!!!

I really really want a CD player for my car. It's bugging me constantly now. Especially since Gabe's car has one. Especially since that makes me want to drive Plum and that hurts Sylvia's feelings. And in Plum I feel like a fake rebel. Rebel driving a Honda automatic?!? --yeah right. Waaaaaaaahhhhhhh... and I wanted to hold out, in hopes that some lovely lovely person would get me one as a wedding present, but I don't know if my patience will last. Especially since Sylvia is trying to make it an emergency situation by turning the radio off every five minutes, trying to make me think it's broken so I'll go get a CD player and be utterly pleased to drive her and her only. Garg. It might work, too.

I'm officially in mourning...

Today it hit me that The Benjamin Gate will be nonexistant in ten days. I think I'm finally past the shock and now I just want to cry and cry and cry. Their music has been such an important part of my life! I don't want them to be gone. And I doubt they're staying in the US, especially since God keeps telling me that he wants Adrienne to go home to South Africa soon. And yes, a little I mourn because I never got a letter, and how do I know I matter? I love them, does that count for anything? Sigh.... I'm gonna go sleep for a little while and hopefully wake up to an email saying that they are after all playing Fallquest. hmph.
  • Current Music
    The Benjamin Gate: "Gratitude"
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