August 26th, 2008


argument with my partner, depression, resolution, scribbling down.

For whomever might be wondering where the second part of that post is, it's still in the making. After I wrote that post, went to sleep and woke up, my partner and I had this major discussion that made me extremely upset because I felt like ze was turning against me (which led to a major realization which I hope to post about soon), and after a lot of talking (and crying, on my part), ze got too tired to talk more and went to bed. I tried to go to bed but couldn't sleep despite being mentally/emotionally exhausted, and then the next day couldn't get up because I had had only a little, bad sleep. AND THEN we went to my favorite Mexican restaurant and I was so depressed I lost my appetite for MEXICAN FOOD. This has never happened to me -- I didn't even know it COULD happen. I brought home the whole damn meal. We then talked and talked about The Issue, and ze mentioned that ze had talked to someone earlier the day of the argument, and that person had said things that my partner didn't have a response for, so ze asked me. That made a huge difference because then it wasn't my partner just randomly getting a personality transplant (which is what it felt like), it was someone else's concerns (about me) which my partner was looking to me for answers to. It hurt so much because I felt like I was really getting to know zir, and then this out-of-character thing happened and I thought I had been wrong all before. Now I feel happy about our relationship again, which is a huge relief from the agony I'd been in since evening Sunday.

Bleh. Sorry this isn't more in-depth or readable, I just feel like getting this down because I have a bad habit of skipping over these things and this time I want to remember. I want to write more about the relationship between my partner and I because it is (obviously) a big part of my life.