May 9th, 2010


frazzled yet ecstatic

AGH so much has happened in the past week and I haven't had a chance to write about any of it and I'm tired and I ought to be asleep in 10 minutes but I also want to write, if I can...

That job I was hoping for fell through :-/ but I do still have two leads on other jobs so I'm not fixating on it. The uncertainty is starting to get to me though -- it's pressing on the back of my mind. Especially as my heart gets more entangled here. I mean, I wanted to stay here anyway but I do miss my lil sis desperately so I was rather on the fence emotionally about what to do and now I'm very clearly in favor of staying here. I'm just not sure how that will work. I think I'm safe as far as a place to sleep but I have to figure out what to do with my stuff and how to pay phone, car insurance, food, gas, etc.. :-p But that's just a buzz in the very back of my mind, because ultimately I know it will work out. This is where I'm meant to be so even if I have to leave, I'll be back.

I just got started on writing about the past week but I'm only one day in and it's taken me ages and I don't really have the energy for it right now so it'll have to wait. Note to self! write about:

-- going to Red Top with Wade & sharing touch/energy
-- spending time with Anita & zir family
-- spiritual/energetic realizations/ponderings about Anita's family & family in general
-- sharing touch/energy with Anita, our connection
-- sexual experiences and realizations (will be friends-locked and in the (opt-in) sextalk filter, I think)
-- going to Helen with Ben & Nicole & Toby