September 22nd, 2011

osculant

sacred insobriety ritual w Koronah, Kyle, Chris / no-speaking to be understood / faith-nourishing

So Kyle's once-lover Koronah (and zir spouse Chris) came into town unexpectedly this week and spent an evening and morning with Kyle and I. Koronah directed a ritual (primarily for Kyle I think) which we all participated in (V joined for part of it), and Kanika joined as well. We imbibed and smoked intoxicants, hookah and some blend of alcohols that Chris made (which tasted divine and had quite an effect on me). Kyle played violin (at one point, ze played while we danced, with eye contact) and taught math. I can't really do justice to the whole experience but there are some bits I want to reflect on.

Once I began drinking, I slipped into a wordless space. Collapse )

After the ritual, we all went to bed -- it was early for me considering how late I woke, but I was exhausted and I slept SO soundly. In the morning, we all spent time together, talking mostly about language and roleplaying as self-examination. Koronah wanted Kyle to paint on zir so ze did, and when Koronah asked for a blossoms on the tree I jumped in and also (on request) painted mountain lion eyes (which was scary but awesome). That was incredible <3

Koronah is someone I've spent so little time with (only three days! and not even full days), but it's been such intensely nourishing, growthful time. Ze is one of very few people who bolster my faith -- I need that so much and it's so rare in my life. Koronah, Hannah, Aurilion, and sometimes Kyle (it can be very faith-bolstering but it can also be faith-reducing with Kyle, because zir faith is so quicksilver). Koronah and I don't have the same faith, but ze's strong where I'm weak and all I have to do is watch and listen in order to grow. Now that ze's gone back home I miss zir. And I miss Chris, whom I'd never met before this short visit, but with whom I feel an intense connection/understanding. I don't know quite what to do with this, except call on the universe for local people who can bolster my faith, and make it a priority to see faith-bolstering people whenever I can.