December 21st, 2015


dreams (fish in champagne flutes w water beads / seeking out my ex-spouse -who is warm? / mockery)

icon: "fish (my fractal "Strange Babies": an abstract glassy sphere missing pieces. At its center are three pink elongated ovals ending in flared yellow)"

20th: I dreamed about fish out of water again. This time they were bettas in about 30 champagne flutes that were filled with water-beads, so they could barely survive and couldn't move almost at all. They belonged to my mother. I took them out one by one and put them in a giant (6' by 3' by 3') but completely devoid of decoration water tank. For some reason I thought they would try to eat the water beads if they were in the big tank, so I had to get them out very carefully. Some of the glasses had two fish in them! I often have dreams about fish in need of rescue but I haven't figured out the pattern yet.

21st: I dreamed that I wanted to reconnect with my ex-spouse, in a limited way. I had a list of things but I can't remember what they are. I felt self-conscious of being fat and wanted to ask if they had had sex with a fat person before (because I am significantly larger than I was when we were together). It was very strange. I felt somehow comforted by their presence, and they felt very warm and cozy (which is not actually how I feel around them). Later that dream I was really warm and friendly to someone (random 'person I knew in high school': a conglomerate of faces) and afterward realized they were mocking me.