August 11th, 2019


Recurring plotlines and symbols in my dreams

icon: "dreamy (a painting by pupasoul of a human figure in a cage, holding a hand out from which radiates light and squiggly sparkly vines of energy)"

I have a number of recurring themes and symbols in my dreams.

There is a recurring theme of "fear realization" -- where my psyche helpfully puts me through my greatest fear at the moment. Previous fear realization dreams have involved:
* people coming to my birthday party and ignoring me;
* Topaz dying or hating me;
* the most compassionate celebrity I know of disliking only me;
* my family-in-law not inviting me to a gather and then getting annoyed when I happened to stop by, unaware;
* being fed roaches, etc.

Sometimes after these dreams, my fear has been worked through, but if I wake up crying and can't get back in the dream I end up feeling like it really happened and having to get over it like it was a real event (but less intensely). Sometimes I have an experience in the dream that changes how I feel about the thing in real life; I used to be afraid of roaches but after I dreamed about someone cooking them and serving them to me, I stopped being afraid of them.

In my most recent fear-realization dream, I was hanging out with a group of new friends with Topaz, and Topaz and I sat on either side of a long table. As the people came up, they all sat on the other side of the table with Topaz because no one wanted to sit next to me; no one wanted to be my friend. I woke myself up near tears, and then went back to sleep and into the dream. I can't remember the details, but I was looking through a stack of papers where the friends had put their photo and some facts about them, and even though it wasn't about me, somehow that convinced me that they didn't dislike me.

My dreams also have recurring plot lines, such as:
* killing a rapist or other evil person, usually with a blade of some kind;
* fish suddenly being out of water (the aquarium breaks, etc) and me trying to rescue them
* hosting a party, especially my birthday party, and everyone avoiding me or ignoring me
* trying to escape people or a place and then remembering that I can fly

And recurring symbols:
* water: oceans, rivers, weird clear flowing swamps
* trees: massive, often sentient and able to move their trunks and branches at human speeds
* magical objects (buildings, tools)
* magical creatures (mermaids, witches, harpies, centaurs, glowing miniature dinosaurs)
* celebrities (Angelina Jolie, Sia, Adam Lambert, James Marsters, Michael Jackson)
* my biofamily (especially my dad)
* my ex-spouse and his family

I find it super annoying that my dreams still use my dad and my ex-spouse as symbols so often. I don't think about them in waking life hardly at all, yet they are often characters in my dreams.