Belenen (belenen) wrote,

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am I losing Angelina as a role model?

I'm starting to lose respect for Angelina Jolie, and I hate that, because she has been an inspiration to me like no one else. But the reason I have admired her is because she has always been so honest and open -- and I am not so sure that she is anymore. I'm still trying to give her the benefit of the doubt on the Brad Pitt thing, but if that rumor on is true and she is allowing Brad to co-adopt her kids, I will have a very hard time believing that she is not in a romantic relationship with him. I have never seen any photos that really imply that they are lovers -- and their body language says 'just friends,' since they're always standing/walking at least two feet away -- but they are actors after all. And either way, she's not being open about the relationship (that I have heard, anyway -- I don't buy magazines, I just read stuff online). She has always been open about other relationships -- why is she suddenly private about this one? What happened to the girl who said exactly what she thought/felt, no matter what anyone thought?

I will always respect her as a person, and admire her acting skills, but the main reason I LOVED her seems to be disappearing. Were she an actual friend of mine, I'd reach out to her -- as it is, all I can do is watch sadly.

{this paragraph is a possible ED trigger} And an even deeper concern of mine is her weight. No matter what the body-dysmorphic girls in the communities say, she is definitely thinner than she used to be, and she is NOT at a healthy weight. She was healthy in Gia, Playing By Heart, even the Tomb Raiders, and she was okay in Life or Something Like It -- but in Mr. and Mrs. Smith I kept cringing at how thin she is! I know she has gone through periods of SI, and I have heard rumors that she used to have an eating disorder... I'm really afraid that now she is caught in an ED. I read an article about her nearly passing out in an airport -- which could be a variety of things, I know, but looking at her it seems obvious to me that it was from lack of nutrition. That bothers me because I can't help her, it really really bothers me because I care about her! And no one will even admit that she's suffering. They go on about 'oh, she's always been thin.' DUH. I have over a thousand photos of her on my hard drive -- I know what her body looks like and I know she has a slim frame. But there is a huge difference between her natural slenderness and this current skinniness. Her arms and legs look achingly thin, her breasts have shrunk, her jawline is extremely pronounced, you can see all of the bones in her hands and feet. Yes, I know you could see the bones before, but before you had to look. Now they pop out of the photos at you. And she looks SO exhausted and fragile.

And I feel terrible for her about that -- but at the same time, I feel like she is betraying all of her fans by not admitting it. She's allowing thousands of girls to think that her current body is healthy and attainable, and it's not, without self-destruction. And she herself said, "I feel better when I have more weight on me. So it's when I'm not feeling like myself that people are telling me I look great. It's so strange. No matter what, somehow it's like I'm not enough." I really hope -- and pray -- that whatever it takes, she will get healthy, return to the vibrant honesty and openness that she used to shine with. And I hope/pray that she slows down -- it may just be overwork, after all.
Tags: angelina, my lodestars

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