worriedI will always respect her as a person, and admire her acting skills, but the main reason I LOVED her seems to be disappearing. Were she an actual friend of mine, I'd reach out to her -- as it is, all I can do is watch sadly.
{this paragraph is a possible ED trigger} And an even deeper concern of mine is her weight. No matter what the body-dysmorphic girls in the communities say, she is definitely thinner than she used to be, and she is NOT at a healthy weight. She was healthy in Gia, Playing By Heart, even the Tomb Raiders, and she was okay in Life or Something Like It -- but in Mr. and Mrs. Smith I kept cringing at how thin she is! I know she has gone through periods of SI, and I have heard rumors that she used to have an eating disorder... I'm really afraid that now she is caught in an ED. I read an article about her nearly passing out in an airport -- which could be a variety of things, I know, but looking at her it seems obvious to me that it was from lack of nutrition. That bothers me because I can't help her, it really really bothers me because I care about her! And no one will even admit that she's suffering. They go on about 'oh, she's always been thin.' DUH. I have over a thousand photos of her on my hard drive -- I know what her body looks like and I know she has a slim frame. But there is a huge difference between her natural slenderness and this current skinniness. Her arms and legs look achingly thin, her breasts have shrunk, her jawline is extremely pronounced, you can see all of the bones in her hands and feet. Yes, I know you could see the bones before, but before you had to look. Now they pop out of the photos at you. And she looks SO exhausted and fragile.
And I feel terrible for her about that -- but at the same time, I feel like she is betraying all of her fans by not admitting it. She's allowing thousands of girls to think that her current body is healthy and attainable, and it's not, without self-destruction. And she herself said, "I feel better when I have more weight on me. So it's when I'm not feeling like myself that people are telling me I look great. It's so strange. No matter what, somehow it's like I'm not enough." I really hope -- and pray -- that whatever it takes, she will get healthy, return to the vibrant honesty and openness that she used to shine with. And I hope/pray that she slows down -- it may just be overwork, after all.
