July 2018
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misunderstandings


Can I ask my friends a favor?

If I write/say something that seems unbalanced/dumb/irrational/selfish/negative/etc., please give me the benefit of the doubt and assume that I wasn't clear enough and you misunderstood me. Even if it's just saying, "It seems to me like you are saying _____, and if that is what you meant then I think _______." But please don't just assume that I mean something that you find glaringly wrong. Compare it to my history, think about the type of person I am.

I can't STAND being misunderstood. I'd rather people know an unflattering truth about me than believe a flattering falsehood. And of course I hate when people think something negative about me that isn't true. And even if it seems obvious that I am saying "opinion1," I may in fact be clumsily saying "opinion2."

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Comments
dreaded_bliss ══╣╠══
Of course. ^_^
garrulous
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
;-)
streaked_beauty ══╣╠══
I think that we have something in common when it comes to hating misunderstandings.

I always seem to be saying opinion1 when I am also clumsily saying opinion2, heh.

I hope that I didnt say anything to you at all that gave the wrong impression.

Now im a bit paranoid about that last comment I left you...eek.
garrulous
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
don't worry, this wasn't about your comment at all! ;-)
mabels ══╣╠══
i go into VERY lenghty explainations when I am missunderstood because I hate it so much...so I understand where you are coming form.
garrulous
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
*nods*
camilleyun ══╣╠══
I feel exactly the same way.
garrulous
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
;-)
golden__vanity ══╣╠══
i agree, i hate it when people do the same thing to me..
garrulous
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
yup
12thknight ══╣╠══
LJs are tough that way, I've found. You don't really know a person from the words they write, no matter how good they might be at writing them. What's missed are nuances, flashes of the eye, warmth, a pause which indicates "...and there's a punch line coming..."

I'm sure that if someone went through all 630 entries I've put in, they'd find a lot of contradictory shit. Sometimes, the stuff doesn't even make sense to *me*...which makes me feel that much more angry that someone else dips their fingers in and says airily, "Oh, you meant *this*."

Sometimes they're dead-on - it's the second pair of eyes that a friend can be - but sometimes all they do is piss me off, and sometimes I can tell they're trying to.
wicked
belenen ══╣wicked╠══
Yeah... with me it mostly bothers me that people assume I hold an opinion that THEY consider to be stupid/selfish/narrow-minded/arrogant/etc. WHY? Why not assume that they misunderstood me because a person they respect probably wouldn't hold an opinion so negative? Why assume the negative instead of the positive? ugh.

If they were trying to, it wouldn't bother me so much -- it's that they just assume negative about me that bothers me.
jedibubbles ══╣╠══
That's why I'm so closed in my journal--I'm not always clear and articulate about my opinions, and it's hard to have a meaningful dialogue online.

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
garrulous
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
*nods*
kabandra ══╣╠══
upset
belenen ══╣upset╠══
omg, eliminating or adding key words??? That's even worse! I've never had that happen, at least not here on LJ. good grief!
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
I hate misunderstandings as well.
garrulous
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
*nods*
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.