Belenen (belenen) wrote,

marriage update! eee! My husband is the BESTESTEST MAN EVER.

Ben and I have really re-bonded recently. It's a beautiful thing... I'm falling in love with him all over again. He truly is amazing. I think God gave him such a near-perfect childhood so that he could be stable enough to handle all of MY fucked-up-ness. I can't even imagine two me's in a relationship. *shudder* No other person, NO PERSON, could be as supportive and faithful and loving as he has been. Mother Theresa would be impressed -- and I mean it. I don't say that lightly.

I think it really helped that I was sick and ended up not working for 5 days in a row (three were scheduled off and the other two I didn't work because I was sick), so we actually got to spend some time together for the first time in a loooooong time. I HAVE to get my schedule changed -- I had no idea just how little time we spend together, and how much that affects us. When I'm awake, I'm either working or he's asleep, and vice versa. We get maybe 14 hours a week together and that's just not enough, especially since at least 5 of those are spent doing stuff other than focusing on each other.

It also helped that he changed his expectations about sex. He never was demanding, but he was often disappointed (by the frequency, not quality), and that put a LOT of pressure on me. So he chose to expect nothing -- which didn't change how often it actually happened, but DID remove the pressure I felt. It's a subconscious thing but it made a huge difference. And oh-my-God sex is so much more fun now.

And I know beyond any doubt that Ben would never ever cheat on me. Not even if a girl that he found attractive in every way (physically, spiritually, etc.) was naked and begging him and he could be certain that I'd never find out. How do I know this?

Because before we were legally married, I wanted to have sex with him, desperately. (I believe that marriage is a spiritual bond and I don't see any relevance in a piece of paper or legality) But he thought we should wait. And he is so amazingly strong when he believes something that he did not give in, even when I was mostly naked, grinding on his lap, touching him and moaning and begging for it, literally. He is the strongest man that exists, period.

And since we're getting into TMI, that restraint isn't because of lack of desire or ability. He's a very, very virile man. and every time we've had sex I've had at least one orgasm, often two. He's incredible.
Tags: b - ex-partner, sex

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