I HATE Marina. Hate her fucking guts. I never liked her from the very beginning -- she never reveals anything about herself. She's a user and the worst sort of liar -- "I care about you" fucking bullshit. If you cared about her you would have been honest with her, you would have loved her and not just taken her for the sake of your own lust. She didn't think about Jenny's feelings at ALL. And I feel Jenny so deeply; she's what I'd have been if I was a more compliant sort of person. But the person I hurt for most is Tim, because he reminds me of Ben. He loved her so much, sacrificed for her, was so generous and supportive of her every desire and every idiosyncrasy... and she lied to him and cheated on him. I keep thinking, how would Ben react? And I think that Ben would have forgiven me, if I was truly sorry... but IS Jenny truly sorry? Does she even know? I think if she was truly sorry she would have told the truth about when it started.
I want so badly for Jenny and Tim to make it. They had real love, strong, true, and I feel sure that it's just going to keep getting worse, more and more distant with no resolution until they write Tim out of the script. . . . which is really tragic because a man like that is rarely shown on any media -- a strong, sensitive man who is generous and loving and respected for it. Yeah, he did a terrible thing leaving her alone and stranded like that, but I think it was more mindlessness than spitefulness. I don't believe that his character would have planned any of that; he just stopped thinking, he was in shock.
And I want Jenny to wake up and hate Marina, the little shit! And to start being honest -- please tell me she starts being honest. You'd think her experiences would have taught her that lies are always harmful.
but I looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
heh, you guys have indoctrinated me so much that when Guin Turner showed up on the screen, I felt like a celebrity had just walked in my living room! It was weeeeird.
ooooh, and Bette and Tina. I think out of all of the characters I am most like Bette, with her passion for art and her desire to help people -- and her willingness to stand up and say, 'this isn't right' but also not trying to pound that into anyone, just saying her piece and letting it lie. And her impulsiveness -- leaving in the middle of the night to satisfy a craving of Tina's or flying cross-country because she thinks Tina needs her. And her philosophy of 'what's done is done, so move on from there, look for the positive.' And most of all, her attempts to understand people and accept them in what they do, even if it's something that would be abhorrent to her.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack I need to go get the next two disks! I'm so cut up over Jenny. She needs someone who is willing to see her for who she is and not stamp her with her faults or use her for selfish pleasure. She needs to get close with Bette. I hope there's more bonding later, because right now the group just feels like a group, not a sisterhood.
I'm in pain right now because Jenny reminds me of so many pieces of myself. I feel in desperate need of affirmation... that if I fail, I will still be treasured, and that I am treasured for who I am at core, and not what I give. But Ben's working an overnight and I am alone.