March 2018
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Hannah's visit: 2006 -- beginning of feelings

Where to start? Where do you start to tell a lifetime of emotions packed into 18 days? I haven't processed hardly anything, I feel like I am swimming in a sea of emotions that are so blended I can't tell where any of them begin -- and none of them end. So much happened! We were so exhausted by the end that we spent the last three days just kinda laying around. It was all so God, so incredibly planned (though when my plans went awry I freaked out, twice -- strange because I'm usually not so structure-oriented). I am so excited to write about all of it! And we have photos to go with EVERYTHING we did -- over SIX THOUSAND photos, no joke. Including a 'formal' photoshoot, those turned out amaaaaaaaaazing. And hilarious videos but I dunno if Hannah will give me permission to post those (go bug her and mebbe she will). She is SO funny, she had Ben and I laughing all the time. (and all of the videos are accompanied by my giggling)

It was just so mind-alteringly amazing. Everything was intensified -- I felt like there was a violet glow on everything all the time. Hannah and I have color concepts which are very similar (and hopefully I'll explain mine soon) and we consider us both violet spirits. We're especially alike in intensity -- it's hard to explain but basically everything has meaning, and I mean everything. We're both very intense separately, and it's exponentially increased when we're together. We went through unutterable pain and incredible joy on this visit. I've learned so much.

I feel like I've gone through not just one but several metamorphoses and I no longer have any clue what I look like -- hopefully my slow chronicling of the visit will help me process. I've changed so much! I believe Hannah has too. Our relationship is amazingly intense anyway, and we red-lined it by spending 24 hours a day together -- craziness.

Even though so much amazingly positive stuff happened, I think the most important part was the fact that we weathered two dreadfully painful 'fights.' I'm not sure what to call them because they weren't angry, mostly, and they were so intense that to call them fights seems to demean the feeling of them. I don't remember ever being in that much pain... and yet, though I wounded her and vice versa, we made it through, stronger and loving each other more. But I don't want to go deeply into that right now because that's a whole post unto itself.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! I want to add pics but there are SO MANY!!! *brain explodes* I have to run others by hannah for approval, so for now you get just one three, sorry:

there are sooooooo many kissy pictures -- I'd say half of the ones with hannah and I have one of us kissing the other. ;-) I especially love this one because you can tell that alariya and I are holding back giggles. ♥

sooooooooooooooooo blissful ♥


I can't wait to update my icons! But I haven't been able to decide which of the thousands of photos I want to make my new 'bel hearts hannah' icon, and I have to work today so I have to sleep now. Poo on work!

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armandii ══╣╠══
Six thousand photos as good as these.... I can't wait to see more and to hear much more about the time you spend together.
thiswaste ══╣╠══
oooooh all this gorgeousness!
gods_ornament ══╣╠══
folkchick3 ══╣╠══
I am so glad that you had a wonderful time - I just knew that it would be amazing, spiritual,intensely inspiring... isn't it amazing how sometimes getting to know someone else helps us to better know ourselves? It seems as if you three do that for each other. That is a great blessing, you know? The pictures are wonderful - you all look glowing, happy and radiant. Can't wait to see more and hear all about the wonderfullness!
ex_alariya46 ══╣╠══
Our visits with all of us together were really quite perfect too. It's amazing, because looking at the pictures totally takes me back to all three of us sitting around, either drawing on each other with markers, walking barefoot through the park, or swimming naked in the pool. I feel blissful and happy again, just thinking of that. :)

So, thank you very much for sharing the photos! And I am really looking forward to getting to see you again. Perhaps, if you'd like, I'll help you sort through some of the pictures... and also steal some for my computer!


smurfb1ue ══╣ness will jess╠══
I'm so glad her trip as incredibly as it did. The pictures are ridiculously fabulous. I hope you'll share many, many, many more. And as a side note: both you and Hannah have ridiculously gorgeous eyes that totally speak.
kmiotutsie ══╣╠══
ai yi yi!!! i looooooooove the last one, love it love it love it!!! all cute pix tho, thx for sharing!! i'll make a note to myself to pester hannah about the videos-- i wanna seeeeee!!
meganlynnangela ══╣╠══
gracie4881 ══╣╠══
long time
hi ya its been so long bel i love the pics of u and hannah i wish i was there any i got some great news im getin married to my fiance whose name is ben so im hopin that u and hannah will come wen we make a date ttyl love always gracie
clown_frog ══╣╠══
I'm really glad you all had such a wonderful time! And I'm glad that though there was pain it was good-pain for being constructive (I dislike that word but I cannot think of another to mean what I mean). It's so good when trips work out like they should. These things should happen more often. I hope you all didn't feel too sad and lonely when she had to leave. Means you must come and visit her. In Scotland. Definitely. And bring alariya too.

Six thousand photos? SIX THOUSAND. I can't get my head around numbers like that. Hope to get to see them, especially the photo shoot ones. I love photo posts, especially of people (so much more interesting than landscape- even awe inspiringly beautiful landscape).

What is that funny wee person thing on the necklace Hannah wears? If it is ok to ask. They are very happy looking people in those pictures. The second one I like best, eye-smiles.
juansrx ══╣bmb1╠══
Love is like a X% proof rope, You can pull it all taht you want, but if its a good rope, it will never tear off.

Figths make a normal part of everybodies life, the important thing is always keeping in mind your real feelings.
darkpool ══╣Love╠══
Beautiful pictures! REally, really beautiful.
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
*grins widely* I am so happy for the both of you. Your friendship reminds me of the one between my best friend Tal and I and I'm so glad you get to have that.

Those pics are great btw.
storytellersjem ══╣╠══

I'm having problems with some of the members in fantasynovels

How do I correspond with you privately on the matter? I did not see an email in your profile.

storytellersjem ══╣╠══
I was hoping you would give them a warning ot ban them from even posting in my discussion.

If you just want me to delete, I can do that myself. The point is that they keep posting comment after comment even after I delete them.

So, not terribly helpful.

If they're not going to listen to you and they keep posting, I'll presume there's nothing you can do.

medland ══╣pattibyjustine╠══
Stunning. I love your earrings and the purple eyeshadow.
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.