There's a lot I want to update about, especially Thursday, meeting SabR and Kazi and the cleansing ceremony with Ashley.

But right now I'm angry about so many things. Mainly at abusive people -- kevin, my dad, my aunt -- who try their damndest to control, use, and suck the energy out of the lives of those I love. Spouting lies, believing them, using them as a net to try to capture prey. And I admit it, I feel a little anger at my loved ones for not taking care of people whom I love -- themselves. Kick the abuser out and keep them out! They have no concept of a mutual relationship -- they just want to take from you. And if you let them, you're harming the both of you -- it's like enabling an alcoholic. They don't know what they need, and you giving them the substitute they crave just keeps them from really living.

It's never a good thing to yield to an abusive person; it's not good, it's not generous, it's not loving. There can be no real love where there is not respect -- for both self and other. There can be affection, fondness, but never true love. Love is wanting the greatest good for the both of you, and being willing to sacrifice for that (including sacrificing the relationship!). That desire can only develop in the presence of deep respect for the innate worth of both yourself and the other.