Belenen (belenen) wrote,
Belenen
belenen

dreams (my huge room written over in blood / married to 2 men)

Tuesday I dreamed that I had a huge beautiful room, three stories tall, full of light from skylights and windows, very expressive of me. But when I walked in there were horrible things written in some kind of gooey bright red blood all over the walls, all over my paintings and posters -- things written about me. And these things showed a knowledge of me so I knew it was a friend of mine... and then I pulled a blanket off of my bulletin board and saw smaller notes, including an apology and then I knew who it was, an old friend of mine whom I call my eviltwin. It may have been dream play-on-words, saying that part of myself was saying those things about me... maybe.

I also dreamed that I was going to marry one man (B) when I realized I was already married to another (A), had been for like a year. And A was more important to me, A was fascinating and complex and wild, if somewhat distant, so I was going to cancel my wedding (which was set for just a few hours from my realization) even though I was horribly torn because B was incredibly tender and sweet, gave me the feeling of being satiated, fulfilled, replete. A always left me hungry, and I couldn't understand why I would choose him... I ended up talking to him on the phone (he was in some far away place?) and he suggested that I just marry B too and bring him, which made my heart leap. I ran to talk to B and he agreed with no hesitation so I thought the hell with the ceremony and we just left on my kind, six-legged mammoth-y creature that was at least 8 times as big as an elephant, and we went galloping across roads and a very strange mostly-submerged bridge in swampy land... and at the end the three of us were in some kind of flying device, suspended far above the land. I felt so incredibly ALIVE, so loved, so very very loved that they would be willing to share me so that I would feel this perfection of joy.
Tags: dreams, dreams more real than waking, polyamory / relationship anarchy
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