Belenen (belenen) wrote,

dad drove Arroskotos down and spent the day / Ramses

Last week my mom convinced my dad to drive down and give me the Jeep that they bought 'for me' five years ago. I'm still kinda in shock -- this is the first time in my life that my parents have come through for me in a time of need. Part of me is still waiting for them to somehow take it back... mostly I'm bewildered. I want to feel grateful, and I am grateful that my mom spoke for me and that my dad went to all the trouble to bring it down, but I'm not actually grateful for the vehicle. Maybe because they said it was mine five years ago and it didn't become fact until now? Maybe because they've never given me anything without strings attached and I am waiting to find the strings? I'm embarrassed of my apparent lack of thankfulness, but that's the way it is.

BUT I am very glad to have Arroskotos back in my life. ♥ Ze is a wonderful vehicle, and was a comfort to me during one of the hardest parts of my life. 'Arroskotos' means 'Bright Shadow,' and I named hir that because ze was an unfulfilled promise -- I had the (always chaperoned) joy of driving hir, but at the same time, the knowledge that ze wasn't truly mine. And now ze is! it's very hard for me to accept.

My dad spent the entire day with me. surreal. and he seemed to listen to what I had to say. I told him, plain and simple, that I think he and mom are toxic for each other (not to mention lil sis, but neither of them seem to think that's important at all) and need to be divorced for the benefit of everyone involved. I expected him to give me a lecture on selfimposedreligiousrules, but he listened fairly placidly. He also noticed my artistic nude screensaver and asked me why I had it, and I told him that it was because I think the human body is a beautiful work of art. He said, "but what about your husband? how do you feel about him seeing all those naked women?" and I said that we don't see nudity as a sexual thing, as many people do. He said that he sees it as a sexual thing (I was surprised by his wording, I expected him to declare that it IS a sexual thing) and I said that society trains people to see it that way, and that Ben and I have trained ourselves out of it. Again, I expected strong argument, but he didn't really say anything in response to that. I wish I had reflected on that before, because I didn't answer as clearly and thoroughly as I would have liked.

and we talked a little about trees. I had forgotten that he was in the forest service before the military (what a switch, huh?)... he used to know a lot about trees. He says he's always loved them, and I do remember him agreeing with me when mom wanted to murder a bunch of trees in the front yard for the sake of grass and flowers, UGH. Anyway, it was interesting to realize that he has a fondness for trees -- and uncomfortable. I don't like similarities with my blood relatives (except lil sis). But I learned the name of a tree I hadn't been able to discover before, the Post Oak. They're the tree-of-choice around here, planted in many medians.

I've gotten as shutter-happy as Hannah, practically. Nowadays when I'm going someplace, my first thought is, "hmm, what could I take photos of there?" *giggles* Which is why I need a smaller, hardier camera than Spyder, something I can slip in a very small bag with wallet and keys. (I don't actually use a purse, because I wouldn't be comfortable sticking Spyder in there anyway, and I don't need one for wallet and keys) On to the photos!


Arroskotos and Sylvia ♥

Ramses on Sylvia

Ramses gets up to greet me

aww cute stumpy tail!

he looks pissed but he's actually in bliss

well if you're not going to pet me, this post will do the trick

ahh that's more like it!

I named him Ramses because his chopped-off-looking tail reminds me of how Ramses II cut off the tail of a wild bull, and because I like it when cats have Egyptian names. I adore that cat so much! I wish I could adopt him. :-( He is SO sweet, and Kanika is utterly taken with him. and they match! And also, I worry that the next door neighbors own him and mistreat him, because the other day I heard him meow really loud and then they said something and 'laughed' in that nasty way that guys usually do when they are doing something destructive or cruel. Hopefully I misread the sounds, because thinking that I am near to something innocent being hurt, without doing anything, absolutely turns my stomach. If I hear something like that again, I will do something.

tomorrow I go hang out with Kazi, Brian, and John, and
in FIVE FREAKING DAYS I get to meet kmiotutsie for the first time!!!
Tags: biofamily, clothesfree, firekat, lj friends, pat, photos, trees

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