September 2018
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blocked / decorating self / birthday presents from Hannah / spirituality / seeking nearby friends


I've felt so blocked for the past week! I think it may be because I was on a weird schedule (for me) -- going to bed at like 7 or 8 pm and getting up 12 hours later. (I'm actually able to write now since it's past midnight. I am a daughter of the Night!) and I am frustrated because I've been trying to reply to comments but I keep stalling out, and I don't want to get more behind! I know you would forgive me but it bothers me to leave comments unacknowledged.

anyway. I went and applied for the passport, which was so much easier than I thought it would be. I felt very brave, driving to a new place all alone and handling it all without too much stressing out. I talked to strangers comfortably as I waited in line, and then chatted with the (friendly!) lady who handled my application. Yay me! *applauds self*

I've also been decorating myself more -- I went and bought a ton of scarves from goodwill to use as head & hip scarves, and I've been buying makeup here and there. I found this amazing shimmery sheer shadow that works PERFECTLY for my under-eye decoration. I have very thin skin under my eyes and no matter how much sleep I get or how healthy I am, I always have purple there. I used to try to hide it with concealer, but since I no longer believe in concealer I have accepted my purple shadows as part of my face and decorate them instead of trying to hide them. They're now one of my favorite features! With shimmery shadow to highlight them, they make me look quite fey.


It had sweated off a little by then -- Saturday was a blissfully hot day.
This insane weather, sweating one day and shivering the next!
I cropped out the earrings because they deserve a post of their own --
I love them at least three times as much as any I have made before. ♥


Also! Hannah's last package finally showed up yesterday so we got on the phone and had a present-opening festival (her b-day is 8 days from mine). We both took photos of our presents 'cause we're like that XD.



packages! five of them had been taunting me for WEEKS.


SNOW LEOPARD FIGURINE!!!!!!!! Oh, this makes me so happy! I love love love love love it. and it is just the right size to go on my altar with my other spiritually significant things. *happiness*


a breathtaking photo of a snow leopard on a no-lines journal
-- which I will hopefully get the courage to draw in. ♥


glow in the dark finger paints! I am going to have SO much fun with those :D :D :D
They're body-safe so I doubt I'll use them on paper.


omg, I keeled over laughing! I haven't tried it out yet ;-)


VIOLET MASCARA!!! I had no idea it would be so delightfully violet -- for some reason all makeup (and glass) that is in purple shades tends toward dusty plum. This is delightfully violet! I haven't tried it yet but I'm sooo happy about it. The purple lipgloss I tried out and it's wayyy too intense on it's own -- I'd have to go really wild and paint my face silver for it to be fitting. But that's definitely something I'd do, so w007! The shadow I haven't tried yet, but it shimmers beautifully in the jar :D


how awesome are those candles? *dances* Bi-pride and rainbow, yay!
lots of candy, cinnamon incense without a trace of apple, and an Azure Ray CD! ♥


me being nuzzled by the clouded leopard previously known as 'Cloudy' *giggles*


the beautiful card that is so incredibly me -- night, tree, girl with stars in her hair.
(I want a full-sized print!)


inside the card -- dragonfly cutouts!


Hannah expresses love ♥ (doesn't she have amazing handwriting?)


opening one of the fold-outs: Hannah explains the 'senses' theme
which I didn't get because I'm not the cleverest leaf on the tree.


another fold-out: Hannah explains the significance of the clouded leopard
-- she was her friend in childhood.


the last fold-out: Hannah worries that I'll be weirded out by the vibe
(hell no! it would only weird me out if it were a stranger giving it to me)



She loved the presents I got her too :D I got her something glow-in-the-dark too, and toys, and a CD, heh -- theme? ;-) We're such wild little children. Every day that passes I get a little more excited about seeing her again. And Nick-n-Kate-n-Meliae! eeeeeeee!!! *hyperhophop*

I want to post about my spirituality -- I keep wanting to, mentally composing entries, and then not doing it. I don't know why! Maybe because I don't fit into any one religion (or even two) so sharing it publicly might make me feel more aware of my aloneness? Maybe because there is just so MUCH and I don't know where to start? I dunno. But that's one of my goals so I hope to get started soon. if you'd be interested, please let me know because I think that would help to motivate me (thanks ever so much oh_simple_thing for your questions! they gave me a good head start on a post).

I made up a little flyer and posted it on the church bulletin board, hoping to find more people around and maybe start a weekly get-together to discuss our similarities/differences/new-thoughts. I've had one person contact me so far, I responded but haven't heard back yet. Hope this works out better than meetup! ;-)

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Comments
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aliyna ══╣╠══
Oh my gosh! Best birthday ever!
YAY!
ecstatic
belenen ══╣ecstatic╠══
:D I love thoughtful presents!
frecklestars ══╣╠══
That picture of you is one of the most gorgeous things I've seen. And yes, her handwriting is amazing! I was thinking it before I even read your comments. hehe Also, I want a full-size print of the girl in the tree too; my boyfriend's old flatmate had a poster right above her bed.

I didn't realize how much I loved your posts until they were gone for a while. :) I just want...to keep you in my pocket and take you out when I want to smile. In the nicest of ways, of course. *hugs*
kissy
belenen ══╣kissy╠══
awwww, thank you! ;-)

awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! that is such a DARLING thing to say! thank you! :D
kschap ══╣╠══
This entry was so much fun! Yay packages and gifts! :D

That first photo of you is lovely! I think I've said this before, but I love your eyebrows. :D And yes, you do look quite fey--I was thinking that before I even read the text above it. :)

I am very interested in hearing about your spirituality. It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately myself, and really the only spiritual sorts of people I've been exposed to have been ones who subscribe to one fairly rigid belief system, and that's it. I've never really liked being boxed in like that, so it's... hard for me to find much meaning in it. I'd love to hear about someone who looks at things a bit differently--maybe it would inspire me in my own journey. :)
inspired
belenen ══╣inspired╠══
aww, thanks so much! and yay! :D

oh, thanks for the input about spirituality posts. I would love to read your thoughts on the subject too -- what experiences you've had with people of different faiths and religions. ;-)
diablo / one for the team
acid_burns ══╣diablo / one for the team╠══
This post made me smile so thank you for that :)

Beautiful, you are ♥
beautiful
belenen ══╣beautiful╠══
aww, I am happy it brought a smile to your face ♥

as are you!
natural
shioneh ══╣natural╠══
oh, this post made me so happy :-D! I'm so glad you loved the gifts so much! I so enjoyed us opening them up together! I'm in awe at how artistically you represented everything too!

You are so gorgeous, girl! I love your shimmering new makeup so much, it suits your loving spirited eyes ♥ Like I said to you earlier, I'm glad you are coming to love your purpley skin! I've always found it very magical and oh-so-you!

So I would be really interested in reading about your spirituality. It's amazingly fascinating to hear about and reading about your spirituality helps me develop my own growing and changing thoughts. I'm really hoping you overcome that blockage!

I'm very inspired to hear about your flyer! wow! such a brave bold thing to do! I'm so excited to hear about how it goes. How did you phrase what you wrote on the flyer, out of interest?

I love you so much! *was made truly glowy by this post*

eccentric
belenen ══╣eccentric╠══
weeeee! :D :D it was so much fun opening them!

aww, I'm glad you like my violet under-eyes too! :D

I'm feeling more and more inspired to post about spirituality ♥

I don't remember how I phrased the flyer, heh ;-) I always forget phrasing on letters, the second I am finished writing them!

♥!
dithering ══╣╠══
What wonderful gifts! I love seeing the amazing relationship you and Hannah have with each other.
effervescent
belenen ══╣effervescent╠══
they definitely are wonderful! :D
armandii ══╣╠══
I smiled all the way through this delightful post.
*grins*
effervescent
belenen ══╣effervescent╠══
aww, yay! :D
suesniffsglue ══╣╠══
Those are awesome gifts! I love that you guys opened your presents together on the phone :D

I would love to read about your spirituality! My spiritual self doesn't fit easily into any religions either. I take a lot of inspiration from a lot of places. Sometimes I think it only makes sense to me. I love reading about other people's spirituality! So count me in among the interested!
inspired
belenen ══╣inspired╠══
it was the next best thing to watching her face :D

yay! I am happy you are interested! I'm feeling more and more inspired to post about it, so hopefully soon you will have something to read about it ;-)
(Anonymous) ══╣╠══
ecstatic
belenen ══╣ecstatic╠══
:D

yay! I'm glad to hear that ;-)
storeyphoto ══╣╠══
The pic of you is beautiful. How wonderful, your gift exchange with Hannah. Such neat gifts. You must model your makeup and body paints (try shooting under a black light for some really "glowing" effects).
artistic
belenen ══╣artistic╠══
oh, yes! I definitely hope to do that, maybe on the visit! ;-)
phoenixdreaming ══╣╠══
Those gifts are packaged with so much love and creativity! I'm so glad you shared pictures; a lovely glimpse of the warmth between you.

I'd love to hear about your spirituality, whatever thoughts you're having on it. I'm unsure if I've ever managed a post about mine; when it's felt strongest, it's been a glow supporting me and I've been afraid to show it in case someone somehow blows it out. I don't feel that now, but I have so little left - perhaps it's like how I stop thinking much when I have no one to communicate with, spirituality needs communication like fire needs air? That's a garbled thought; I should explore it in a journal entry instead, I think.

And you look beautiful. That's a way to see your undereye shadows that I've never even thought possible with my own; I may look differently at mine now -- literally, if I can find a mirror. Thank you for a little possible paradigm-breaking this morning! And congratulations on applying for your passport! *applauds you too*
beautiful
belenen ══╣beautiful╠══
:D :D

oh, I know exactly what you mean about being afraid someone will blow out the glow! And wow, the concept of spirituality needing communication like fire needs air, that feels so true. My spirituality was so much more vibrant when I had people to talk about it with, who felt the same way I did!

thank you! I hope you did start to see them differently ;-) You have absolutely AMAZING eyes (I was curious after this comment so I went through your photos to see!)!
rockstarjoker4 ══╣╠══
What a great birthday present!

I know that your spirituality is one of the things that makes you so incredibly interesting. The fact that you take ideas from so many different religious backgrounds is absolutely inspiring, and makes me feel a little less alone, because I try to do the same thing! I can't wait to hear more about your spiritual side.
inspired
belenen ══╣inspired╠══
:D

awesome! thanks so much! ♥
03; kurt. friendship -
delicatexflower ══╣03; kurt. friendship - "best friends"╠══

oh my! what a wonderful love package!!

all those items scream out "bel!" to me,
way too cool. i'm so happy you guys are
soul friends again! i love random acts
of kindness the two of you do for each
other...

soulfriendship
belenen ══╣soulfriendship╠══
aww, yay! ;-) We're not actually soulfriends right now but we are actively building our relationship and I could see us being soulfriends again eventually ;-)
theindiequeen ══╣╠══
I agree with the other commenters, this entry was lots of fun!!

Let me know if you do start a weekly get-together. I'd love to come!
adoring
belenen ══╣adoring╠══
yay!

I will let you know!
when there's nothing funnier
smurfb1ue ══╣when there's nothing funnier╠══
I'd be so interested to hear more about your spirituality...it's such an important part of you, but I don't really understand what you mean when you talk about it. Just out of curiosity--what do you think the purpose (not sure that's the right word) of spirituality/religion/church is?
It's so wonderful seeing you so happy!
spiritual
belenen ══╣spiritual╠══
awesome, glad you're interested!

the purpose... it's a way to understand the world, a way to define one's goals in life. But the different religions/faiths have different goals. My faith's goal is love! There's a lot of different parts to my faith, but it all comes back to that core.
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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.