The art of Padma (zir legal name is Susan Ostapkowicz but since ze signs zir artwork with Padma I assume it is zir preferred name) absolutely blows my mind... it is the energy of the artwork itself that I feel in each card. Each one was created with such focus and love... they just GLOW. And they are so full of color ♥ Sadly, this deck is the only work ze has done in this style (as far as I can tell), but there are 79 paintings in this deck. I do think I will be doing more readings at some point, and I will include photos then too. (there were a surprising number of repeat appearances in these 8 readings! I suppose some of the cards are more eager to speak than others ;-))
I did these in a 4-card spread I made up -- past, present, future, and vision. (I like it quite a lot!) Now before you read your message I want to say that I believe a VERY important part of receiving any sort of spiritual message is checking with your own spirit to see if it resonates. If it feels wrong to you, then assume some mistake or misinterpretation on my part, I promise you I will not be the SLIGHTEST bit offended or upset. I'm just learning, so your honesty will be really helpful (as it always is of course, heh). If it resonates, take it to heart and let me know -- if it jars, throw it right out and let me know.
PAST: "Sharing" One thing that jumps out at me about this is the fact that there is a pomegranate on the plate. I feel like there is something you haven't shared in the past, though you wanted to, and it has something to do with Persephone. Perhaps there is a block of some kind which Persephone is going to guide you through? I feel like if you can take the step to share that, an overwhelming abundance will pour into your life.
PRESENT: "The Burden" This seems a bit at odds with how your life seems to me, and makes me wonder if I switched the cards up (so consider that possibility and what it might mean for you), but I'm going to go with it. I feel like there is some mocking or proud "crowing like a rooster" presence in your life, and it's making the going slow and difficult for you. If that resonates with you (if someone popped into mind, heh), then if you remove this influence you'll feel a weight lift from your shoulders. In removing it, you can't really wiggle out from under it but instead it will have to be a sudden and decisive move.
FUTURE: "Creativity" Again this seems at odds, since you are already SO creative, but I am getting the impression that your creations are going to take an even bigger role in your life. Perhaps they will become your sole source of income? Or perhaps you will find a new way to create which will become a focus in your life? Whatever the case, it seems that what you are doing now, incredible as it is, is only the bud to your future blossom.
VISION: "Postponement" When I turned this over I was like "what kind of vision is that??" but on further reflection I think it means that there will be some delays ahead (I keep hearing that it's in getting published), but your dreams WILL come, there's no doubt there, you just have to keep your focus on them and not allow delays to discourage or stop you. The delays will be incredibly fruitful (considering the "creativity" future card), and definitely worth it.
PAST: "Letting Go" This one seems really obvious. ;-) There's something in your past which you need to let go of (isn't that true for everyone, heh). Something that is keeping you from taking a chance, something that keeps you isolated and afraid to trust. I drew some cards to ask what it was, and I got all positive cards, so I'm thinking it may be a kind of dreaming-about-the-good-old-days thing? Not wanting to let go of something that was wonderful or seemed wonderful then?
PRESENT: "Success" I feel like this card is saying yes, you are succeeding at your efforts, even if it doesn't feel like it. It's saying you should celebrate your small victories instead of comparing them to the 'big picture'. Because one person is as important as the whole world.
FUTURE: "Change" I feel like this card is saying yes, you will create change, not only in yourself but in the larger picture. And it's going to be big enough that you can easily see it, and you don't have to fight with yourself for validation.
VISION: "Slowing Down" and "Ice-olation" These stuck together when I tried drawing one, so I think they say something together. Isolation seems to be the shadow-vision -- I get the feeling that you tend to be isolated by default, that it is the easiest pattern for you. You keep yourself busy, distracted, so that you don't notice your loneliness. I think together these cards are saying take the time to connect, slow down, let yourself feel. It's a hard thing to do but I think it is a key to that huge change you are creating and will create.
PAST: "Ice-olation" I feel like this is saying that you used to be very isolated emotionally and you feel a fear that it will happen again. But it can't, because you don't exist in that place any more. Your environment is no longer cold enough to encase you in ice, and as long as you take care of yourself and don't let cold influences into your life, you will never experience isolation like that again. Let go of that fear, and trust.
PRESENT: "Silence" This is saying to take silent time to listen to yourself. Perhaps for you the voices of others can be very loud and intrusive even when you are alone? I feel like you will find a lot of your power in silence. It's not selfish to take time to focus on you and only you.
FUTURE: "Possibilities" I feel like this is promising grand things, possibilities beyond what you have ever imagined. The sky is NOT the limit -- there is no limit, no place where you cannot go. You are free, you are winged, you are majestic and completely self-reliant. Dream bigger! You have SO MUCH ahead, so much that is opening up right now. You don't even have to strive -- just watch, and follow your senses, and soar effortlessly, like an eagle on an updraft.
VISION: "Compromise" I feel like there is conflict ahead, fairly soon, and you'' have to make a choice between something you REALLY REALLY want and something you would like that goes along with something someone else would like. It might seem like it is too great a sacrifice to make this compromise but I think that if you do make it, an even bigger opportunity will open up soon afterward, something that would only happen if you made that compromise.
PAST: "The Source" I feel like there is something from your past which you had once put aside and are now bringing back into your life in an active way. I feel like this is going to be an AMAZING source of power for you -- glorious! If it hasn't come up yet, consider if there is anything from your past, or even your ancestral roots, which has piqued your interest lately. If there is, I think it would be a good idea to throw yourself into exploring that.
PRESENT: "Transformation" WOW, I hadn't seen this card before, and what a glorious present! Like a phoenix you are transforming from ashes into new life! I asked Color Voices in what way you are transforming, and I got comparison, laziness, isolation, and suppression. I take that to mean that you are overcoming comparison and becoming accepting/loving of yourself exactly as you are, you are shaking off criticisms from those who think you are not productive enough/in the "right" ways, your isolation is ending as new people come into your life, and you are becoming free of self-suppression, free to express yourself fully and fearlessly.
FUTURE: "Integration" I feel like right now there are parts of your life that just refuse to blend, refuse to work together, and that makes you feel fragmented, but in the near future those things will become integrated of their own accord. Perhaps each area needs to develop independently before merging.
VISION: "Participation" I feel like this card is urging you to participate more in your own life. I get the impression (from this card, not you, so take this with a grain of salt) that you can sometimes be an observer in your own life, and this card is encouraging you to take a more active role in directing things. You won't mess it up -- and if you did, it would end up working out far better than if it hadn't gotten messy first.
PAST: "Change" I feel like this is saying that you have changed a great deal from your past self, and that this is somewhat disorienting for you (or maybe people who knew you before this change find it unsettling). But this change is positive and it will become fully known soon. (I don't know exactly what that means but it just came out, so...)
PRESENT: "Stress" haha, appropriate I imagine. You're juggling a lot right now! But what sticks out to me from this card is the fact that the person has a string around the monkey's neck. I think this means that while you are in a stressful place right now, you have all the tools necessary to take charge, and you will get through it in one piece. ;-)
FUTURE: "Slowing Down" I wasn't sure if this meant that your life would settle down on its own or that you would need to find a way to slow down, so I drew two more and got "postponement" and "adventure" so I think it means that postponing adventures for a while would be a good thing. Maybe after the wedding, taking a good amount of time to rest and slow down before planning any other major life changes.
VISION: "Inner Voice" I think this card is saying, listen carefully to yourself, and to that "still, small voice." What stands out to me most for some reason is the crystal formation in the center of the card, and I don't know how you feel about crystals but I feel like perhaps some clear quartz would be helpful, maybe to wear as a pendant to remind you to take time to listen, or maybe just a piece to hold when you take that time to listen.
PAST: "Schizophrenia" I think this is saying that in the past you've felt like you're barely holding on, like you're stuck and if you even try to move you can only make things worse. But I feel like what this card is saying is if you take that risk of moving, decide to let go and fall right into your fears, you'll discover you can fly. But as long as you cling tightly to what seems to be the end of your rope, you'll never realize you have the ultimate freedom.
PRESENT: "Intensity" Ohhh I love this card. At first I thought it was just someone flying face first, but then I realized ze is in a running pose! I think this is saying that you have an opportunity to create something thrillingly wonderful, if you are willing to run full speed and really throw yourself into it. You won't be able to see the results right away but you will be able to sense their approach. This is one of those pivotal times where if you act, it will have much more power and impact than at most other times. Take the opportunity and run with it! If no opportunity has made itself known yet, then search yourself for your strongest desire and seek opportunities out! This is the time to act. If you don't, you will have other chances -- but times like these are precious.
FUTURE: "Moment to Moment" Your future is incredibly beautiful but it won't be easy to see. You'll be able to make out just the next step you will take, and anything beyond that will be unknown -- but take that step with faith that there will be another, because there will be.
VISION: "Patience" I think this goes with your present "Intensity" -- this is a pregnant time, but like pregnancy, you won't see the results right away. Keep throwing yourself into that opportunity, and don't be discouraged when it seems to be creating nothing. It WILL come.
PAST: "Beyond Illusion" I feel like this is telling you that you are finally seeing (or will soon finally see) your past clearly. Maybe you've been deceived or deceiving yourself about something in your past, but you are seeing it clearly now, and as a result you are going through a metamorphosis. Be willing to let go of those pleasant illusions -- whether they were about a previous version of your Self, or about other people. What you know in your heart will become plain in your mind, and you will feel a new kind of harmony because of it. You'll feel as though you are seeing the world through new eyes.
PRESENT: "Turning In" I feel like this is saying that there are countless rotten voices that clamor at you, disturbing you and preventing you from finding peace. I don't know if you meditate already, but I feel very strongly that making meditation more of a focus in your life would REALLY help. Maybe before your meditation you can say something to help establish a safe space, something like "I only hear my own truest self (and the voice of divinity if you believe in divinity), and all other voices and thoughts must be silent" or something like that. Creating an actual physical place which you use only with deliberate peaceful thoughts might also help, even if it is just a certain chair you sit in only for meditating. Above all this card is saying you DO have the power to silence those voices.
FUTURE: "Understanding" woooow, what a future! I feel this card is saying your future is freedom. That so far you have lived a life in a cage but soon, once you have learned all you need from that, you will be free and able to understand both the free and the caged. I feel this card is saying that this isn't just a possibility, it is a surety, which you are creating right now. It's saying keep going, just keep living each day and you will find understanding.
VISION: "Maturity" mm, a wonderful vision. I think this card is saying that your current focus should simply be maturing -- growing in understanding, taking control over your own mind, caring gently for yourself. I feel like it's saying that you chafe a little in that cage, and no wonder, but you will be free at just the right moment, so take the time now to concentrate on yourself. You're not missing opportunities by slowly learning yourself -- you are creating countless new ones. And you can't hurry a bloom to blossom. ;-)
PAST: "Awareness" You are starting to become aware of the true nature of someone in your past. Ze has been a shadow lurking in your mind for a long time, but your trueself is starting to burn away that shadow with the light of awareness. Maybe you've resisted this process, not so sure you want the shadow to be gone, but it is happening now, slowly but surely.
PRESENT: "Conditioning" A lion playing at being a sheep. You have a fierce and self-reliant nature but you've been denying it, maybe because you are surrounded by sheep and you don't want to scare them off because then you'd be alone. But it's quite possible and even likely that others around you are lions-in-sheepskin too, and you won't be alone. Whether that is true or not, the longer you spend wearing the sheepskin, the harder it is to know your own true nature. And as a lion you cannot live on grass -- if you do not embrace your true nature you will not be able to nourish yourself and you will waste away.
FUTURE: "Existence" What do you see when you look at this card? A person alone in the vast reaches of space -- is ze lonely and shunned? or wrapped in profound peace and embraced by all of the universe? This is, I think, a possible future, not a certain one, and not a permanent one. I think that if you do choose to reveal your lion nature, you will be forsaken by sheep and will spend time seemingly alone before the next step in your life begins. But you won't be alone, and you'll find solace in that new kind of existence. Maybe that's not a sacrifice you are ready to make yet, and that's okay too. I asked Color Voices what would happen if you did not embrace your lion nature, and I got "suppression" which seemed like more of the same, so I tried again and they refused to give me anything meaningful. I guess that's the only possibility they're willing to show me right now.
VISION: "The Source" mmm, an amazing vision card! This speaks of where you get your passion, your strength, your very life. This card is saying to focus on your life source, which I'm understanding to mean your Deities. I'm sure you already focus on them but perhaps there is a way to bring them even more fully into your life? I feel like this focus will make the transformation (if you choose to make it) much easier and clearer, and of course when you step into "Existence" you will feel their presence even more strongly. I don't know if this is a metaphor or literal, but just now looking at the "Existence" card I heard "priestess" -- I feel like your calling (whatever that may be) is increasing in intensity. You are growing much closer to your Source.