save up and buy a Hapi drum in the Akebono Key of D ♥
I've always loved music and wanted to create it, but I couldn't work with the instruments made available to me. I never liked the sound of piano, and when my parents forced me to take lessons for four years, that added a massive amount of resentment to my mild dislike. I tried taking guitar because I DID like the sound of that, but it just felt too awkward for me -- partly because of the small size of my hands, I think. I longed to play the bass guitar because of the deep, rhythmic sound but never had the opportunity, and for me that's still too... structured.
The first time I tried an instrument that resonated with me, I remember feeling such a THRILL, such a sensation of wildness and pure unstructured expression. It was just five minutes playing a friend's set of conga drums, but it was enough to let me know that percussion -- by hand, not by a mallet or stick -- is MY music. I asked my friend how much they were and I can't remember the sum but it was enough to make me feel that they were forever out of reach, might as well forget them. So I did. Then this past year when I visited Hannah, I tried playing zir bodhrán and I felt that same thrill! That oh-my-god/dess-yes-this-is-me! feeling. I determined that I was going to get some kind of drum, whatever I could afford, and start playing. I was very drawn to the bodhrán (I still am, I think I must have some passionate bodhrán players in my ancestry), but I hesitated for some reason in getting it. (even though it actually is affordable)
Then at the end of October last year, I was searching for information about Hapi, an intersexed personification of the Nile who I feel a strong kinship with, and I came across the HAPI drum (meaning Hand Activated Percussion Instrument)! I fell so completely in love, crying with joy at how PERFECT this instrument is for me (and how I found it!). It's played by hand, creates various tones, is easy to carry around, comes in many colors, has a dichroic glass center... oh, I'm so in love and you must watch
If I manage to save $50 a month, I can get it by my next spiritual birthday (November 13th) which will be my 11th. ;-) I'm not sure yet if I need to get it sooner or wait that whole time -- I may try to find other ways of gathering funds if I start feeling more urgency about it. I kinda want it by summer...
When I first saw the price I was like, oh well, it's a nice dream but it won't happen... but it just kept coming up, and I feel that getting a Hapi drum for myself is a very important step in my spiritual path. So it's going to happen, even if I have to practice patience for it. ;-)
become more active/fit
Earlier this week I had a fantastic idea which so far has worked very well! I set my phone alarm to go off every thirty minutes, whereupon I reset it and go use the healthrider briefly (enough to get my heart rate up). I'm gradually increasing the length of each session and might add weights eventually. I'm so excited about this because it really works for me! I don't have to worry about the weather, the time, or clothing, and I don't have to set aside a chunk of time every day (which usually ends up getting forgotten until the very end of the day when I am ready to fall into bed). I can go slow and easy if I'm feeling bad, or do extra if I'm feeling good! and it's free -- no gas money, no gym fees -- and it's FUN. I love the healthrider, it reminds me for all the world of riding in the front of a speedboat. And it keeps my energy from getting stagnant, because it's interspersed throughout the day. I've only been doing it for about 5 or 6 days now but I can already feel more energy and strength! An odd thing I noticed is that my lung capacity is increasing. I didn't realize just how little (read: ZERO) aerobic exercise I got until I started feeling what it is like to breathe more deeply again. I haven't enjoyed activity this much since I had a routine of cartwheels and swimming (at age 17). I'm feeling POWER in my arms and legs again! I love how quickly my body responds to workouts of any kind.
I also plan on taking regular walks with Nim (once it's warm) and once I cash my Christmas check from mom (hopefully this Thursday) I'm going to order a balance chair so that I can strengthen my core muscles. When I feel like they're strong enough I'm going to take bellydance lessons again (if I can find some affordable ones).
[[Happy Birthday celestialsight! ♥]]