Belenen (belenen) wrote,

my amazing bumper stickers and the very strange encounter inspired by them

I had my first experience with a ... sleazy females-are-consumables gay-voyeur today. I was driving along with windows down (as I prefer unless it is freezing cold) in my car with the awesome bumper stickers,

window, from left to right: dragonflies, holographic moon, forever moon symbol, seventh day slumber symbol, purple "I live in peace and love" with symbols of various religions surrounding it, burgundy static cling with green leaf surrounded by the words "I believe in God, only I spell it Nature," unfortunately peeling night pines, "What we think we become" - Buddha, Libertarian. I think the others are readable.

(I made those three, can you tell? :D)

and some patriarchy-cloned male person pulled up next to me and this conversation ensued:

RD: random dude (I'm using the term 'dude' in the sense that this person is a specific kind of person -- the kind who follows the training of masculinity, thus seeing female people as objects designed for use by males)
me: obviously

RD: "hey, are you gay?" (I think ze just saw rainbows and thought, "GAY")
me: "... not exactly." (thinking, "what a stupidly bi-ignorant question -- how do I respond to that??? 'No' isn't true but neither is 'yes'!")
RD: "You're hot."
me: "uhhhh........thank you..?" with a scrunched brow and a headshake (thinking, "dammit, why can't I think of an appropriate comeback?")
RD: "if you are gay, would you hook up with me?"
me: "No!" (relieved to have an easy answer and also WTF, does ze not know what gay MEANS?)
RD: "why not?"
me: "because 'you're hot' is not a line that really works for me."
RD: *starts to say something else*
the light: *finally turns green*
me: *drives away*

with the right responses, which I thought up long after of course:

RD: "hey, are you gay?"
me: "I'm half gay -- are you?"
RD: "You're hot."
me: "no thank you -- I'm not interested in your evaluation of my attractiveness."
RD: "if you are gay, would you hook up with me?"
me: "No!"
RD: "why not?"
me: "because I only have sex with feminists."
Tags: bumper stickers, photos, queerness

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