January 2019
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randomness: slowpoke writer, delayed-time conflict, hair, dreamwidth, haiku, free book for you

I've been slooooowly working on my April music post, heh, it will be COLOSSALLY late but oh well! I also have yet to post the rest of my April booklist, frarg! But for nearly a week I had the weirdest stomach pain that sapped all my energy and hurt so much I had to distract myself or sleep constantly -- otherwise I think I'd have it done.

Plus writing that post on bad science as it relates to women was so exhausting -- when I write something 'controversial' like that it stresses me out constantly until I'm pretty sure there aren't going to be any more comments. Being emotionally invested in something which many are emotionally invested in in the opposite way is just nerve-wracking for me. I like conflict in person, but conflict online means without expression and without a chance to immediately correct a misunderstanding, and I don't enjoy it. Delayed-time conflict is like not being able to touch the steering wheel for a bit -- if it drifts, you have to swerve sharply to get back on course, whereas with real-time conflict you can correct as you go and don't need to swerve. I like the effect overall (I either get closer to the person or realize that being closer isn't going to happen), but I don't like the process.

I got my hair re-done FINALLY and it looks absolutely amazing. I tried a new dye which is a little too close to purple, not violet, but the cut is absolutely the best I've ever had. It's just the right length in the front (falling an inch below my jaw), super-short in the back, and I had the wonderful idea of getting the hairdresser to undercut the long part so that it will fall close around my face instead of poofing out (I have never EVER wanted 'volume' or 'body' -- I just want my hair to lie close and sleek, please). Photos soon ;-)

I started a dreamwidth account -- [info]belenen Let me know if you also have an account there! (I do not have any invite codes yet, sorry) I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to do with my account there yet -- for now it's a backup (with imported comments, YAY!) for my LJ. I do know that I will NOT be moving to DW and leaving LJ. LJ will always come first, I think (I have so many firmly rooted friends here, not to mention a permanent account!). But DW is kinda charming in that it is so fresh and new, and all the people there really WANT to be there, you know, they didn't just get one because it was cool or because a friend told them to. It's more serious and writerly. It makes me wish that LJ had kept the requirement for an invite code! (I signed up with one, if I remember correctly ♥)

I started [info]haiku_gallery, which I thought was such a great idea that I started an LJ version too: haiku_gallery. I'm hoping it'll build because I really enjoy reading and writing haiku!

Also, if you will read a copy of The Mismeasure of Woman by Carol Tavris, I will buy it and mail it to you. (they're quite easy to come by) So if you're interested enough to read at least a chapter, I'm definitely willing to invest the small amount of money and effort. Just email your address to belenen at gmail dot com -- first come, first served. I have a copy already waiting on my desk. Depending on how many requests I get, I may mail them out in increments.


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febrile_lune ══╣╠══
I pledge to you I will read it. Hopefully before the end of the summer. I'll get one for myself when I can, but just want you to know, that's very very kind of you and I am SO happy when other people care this much about something important to them :)
parallelgirl ══╣╠══
Do you mind my asking which hair dye you use? I consider purple to be my 'natural' hair colour, but always have trouble finding a dye that lasts longer than a week without going patchy- any tips? I've used Directions and Special Effects in the past...

I have a dreamwidth account also, same username :)

ladywind ══╣Pan╠══
If I can duck in from a year of being purple? Special Effects' Deep Purple (with shots of Virgin Rose) did well for me (three links to the lifecycle of one dyejob) even over the parts of my hair that weren't bleached, especially if I played pH games with my hair in the dying process.

Hair Crazy was an incredible help to me, especially this article, and colour-tweaking articles like this one.
wolfmare ══╣╠══
Actually, reading one of your posts yesterday made me realize something... I dislike gender roles, but while parental roles may be partially based on those, I am proud of mine. Of course, I think it mostly hit because me then because it was on a holiday dedicated to it.

I've worked hard, sacrificed my own wants and needs, lost everything, and fought hard to get it back so that I could raise my child. I've lived in places that I doubt a rat would go, and spent months living on ramen myself to keep good food for my child. I have learned that the true 'labor' doesn't begin until after the birth of a child. It may seem contradictory to things I've said before, but given all that... I'm proud to be a mother, to have given birth and nurtured another life into being. And I did so, alone, for years.

And really, at present that's the only thing I know of that both sexes cannot do equally from a biological standpoint. Science may whip that one yet, but right now I don't mind living with it.
oceanid ══╣╠══
Yes yes! I completely feel you with the online 'controversial' posts. One of the reasons I admire your guts, but personally am unable to do the same (for now). It's worse when it's during the week and I can't check LJ constantly for responses, I hate those moments of "waiting", and perhaps it's the way I type, but I feel like 50% of the time people misunderstand what I mean, or take it down an entirely different path. I'd settling for in person conflicts any day! It's good to know I am not alone.
phoenixdreaming ══╣╠══
Dreamwidth: If anyone's looking for an invite code, it's possible I'll be able to help! I am *well* out of them, having already used up the ten I was lucky enough to acquire and borrowed more from friends, but still have friends who don't have a use for all of their codes. (Though if I keep chirping "ooh, anyone got a spare code?" I may no longer have friends /or/ friends with codes!)

I would certainly read it! Shipping books to Ireland costs a lot, though, so I'm going to see if I can find it here instead and save you the trouble. I'll let you know if I don't find it within the next couple of weeks :)

Much sympathy regarding the stress of controversy. I sometimes feel scared of comments when I post even personal and subjective entries; I've not generally had the courage to post about more difficult things. In part, though, that's because a lot of my feelings about more controversial subjects are just that, feelings, without enough to back them up, and I think I ought to be more solidly placed and well-read before discussing them. I've never had great respect for those who debate based simply on feelings in situations where thought and research are required, and do not want to do the same myself.
celestialsight ══╣╠══
If you happen across an invite code you don't need, I'd love to have one! (Or if you, Bel, get any... I want to join!) =)
phoenixdreaming ══╣╠══
Okay, got one :) I can email it to you if you give me an address, or PM it to you on LJ.
celestialsight ══╣╠══
Ooh, thanks a lot! My email is justkat at gmail. ♥
phoenixdreaming ══╣╠══

(note to Bel: sorry for the mis-comment! Didn't click the right reply link, I think.)
austentatious ══╣╠══
I will attempt to pick up a copy of that book this summer. I feel like living on my lonesome out of college will afford me nothing but time to read. I plan on going to the bookstore and spending (slightly) ridiculous amounts of money on feminist books. :)
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
How are you finding Dreamwidth so far? I'm thinking of getting an account there and am wondering how people find it.

I'm the same with online conflict as well. The stream of comments is what gets to me, especially when you don't know when it will end. And online conflicts always get more heated, probably because the lack of tone and other non-verbal communication, like body language and expression.
lilmissanthropy ══╣╠══
A-ha! I realized that I sent you an email when you posted this, and I didn't tell you who I was on LJ or send you a mailing address. And then I dug a little deeper, and realized that when I friended you I didn't make any comment that I can remember and you did not reciprocate..so you probably thought I was a total goober emailing you! I'm a nerd today.

Either way, I would love to read The Mismeasure of Woman and would be so grateful to have a copy! Please let me know if you got my email.
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.