*One thing ze said was that I'd loved zir unconditionally, and that had been unthinkable to zir and ze'd felt that ze couldn't receive it, that ze had to earn it somehow and couldn't. I'm starting to have a weird complex about this, like I need to be a little dirtier or something because people seem to think that I'm just too good for them, but I'm SO not perfect and I have my own issues and anyone can do anything that I do or be anything that I am, I'm not extra-gifted or any more amazing than the next human being. And I mean... I used to be bitter and cynical and sarcastic and downright fucking spiteful and then paranoid and self-loathing and nonfunctional and frozen and depressed -- just because I'm not those things NOW doesn't mean that I don't understand that journey and feel it. I still identify with all those things. I still fear, I still have insecurities, I still get just as soul-crushingly lonely and teeth-grindingly furious and heart-rendingly self-rejecting, I still can't motivate to do things that are important to me and to life, I'm still learning who I am, I'm still on the same journey dammit! And it's always the ones I relate to the most who think that I'm not like them :-/
On the other hand, maybe it's my lack of current adversity that some people find it impossible to relate to. Maybe it's not that they think I'm too 'nice' but that I've got it too easy. I mean, I am fucking lucky (but I haven't always been...). Maybe that's just me projecting my own guilt for not having to struggle right now. I'll hope for the latter :-p
