Belenen (belenen) wrote,
Belenen
belenen

weathering differences with Ash and becoming closer friends / portraits of Ash painting

A long time ago I was mapping out connections with various friends, and Ash felt a bit hurt that I didn't see any connection at all between us. But like I said then, connections are about similarities, and Ash and I have NO SIMILARITIES. (ze used to think we did but now agrees that we don't!) It's odd because we live our lives in somewhat similar ways -- we're both queer and pagan and poly and open/honest -- but while what we DO might be similar on the surface, we're so different in our whys and hows. Pretty much opposite, most of the time. And considering that Ash and I have inverted signs (I'm sun-Aquarius moon-Sagittarius, and ze's sun-Sagittarius moon-Aquarius) and are such total opposites, I'm a BIT more inclined to consider the zodiac relevant!

It's been a WILD ride, being flatmates with Ash. For a while through January and February I feared that our friendship would not survive living together. We kept falling into these MASSIVE, WRENCHING fights because we do not speak the same language but we thought we did. I'd say something and Ash would hear the EXACT OPPOSITE of my intent, and vice versa. For a while I just tried to avoid zir because everytime we interacted it seemed I'd accidentally hurt zir in ways I couldn't even see, and that was breaking my heart. Finally one night Ash had a headache that kept zir from sleeping until ze came to me and talked with me about all the things that had been hurting zir. We managed to figure out that we both had positive motives and we agreed to both try and be more careful communicating and to assume miscommunication if something painful happened. After that there were about two weeks of tiptoeing on eggshells and then things gradually eased and now I feel relaxed with zir again. And ze accepts hugs from me now so I think ze feels relaxed with me again too. And we're back to our 4+ hour conversations!

Now that we've gotten past that string of miscommunications, the energy between us has sweetened again. We're really too different to be partners, but I think that if Ash had a primary other (and I had others) and we didn't live together, we could be lovers and it would be amazing. I kinda expect that to happen somewhere down the line and I'm looking forward to it. For now I feel like our friendship is really strengthening now that we have FINALLY learned not to assume we understand the other even if it seems PAINFULLY obvious. Ash is a really lovely person and I'm so happy to have zir in my life. ♥







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(these're from when we went to Elizebeth & Tyme's and Elizebeth henna'd us! I am 99% sure these two are from when Elizebeth let me play with zir camera (eeeeeeeeeee OMG WANT) and are by me ;-)

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Tags: art -- photography, ashe, communication / words, growth, photos
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