Belenen (belenen) wrote,

job quitting and new job training / plans w Wade / Ben & Anita & Green & Chip & Christa energy flow

I'm in a weird state at the moment. I put my notice in at my current job because one way or another I'm going to be moving away from it. I have training for a new job on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday and I'm very nervous about it, especially since I'm supposed to dress professionally and I have only the most vague idea what that means but I think I'll probably have to buy uncomfy shoes and fancy knee-highs (because there is no way in HELL I am wearing pantyhose). Ughhhhhhh I HATE wearing such things. And this job is so grown-up compared to everything I've done before and it sounds too good to be true (except for the dressing 'up') and all of this just makes me SO NERVOUS. And even though I was accepted for the job it feels way too easy and I keep waiting for the catch. Suppose I'll find out in a few days if there is one.

Also I'm hanging out with Wade tomorrow and I'm happy and nervous about that. Wade is Rob's housemate -- I've only really talked with zir once but it was a wonderful conversation and we cuddled a bit and that was even more wonderful so I think it'll go well. I feel a little ridiculous opening all these doors when I don't know anything about the direction my life is taking, but intuition says go, so going I am. (and I did ask the universe for as many lovers as I can handle... haha)

The borderpagans meeting tonight consisted of myself, Ben, Green, Anita, Chip, and Christa. Something about that collection of people felt just amazing. I mean, it could have been that I was just high from being around both Ben and Anita but I think it was more than that -- the energy just seemed to flow really easily between the six of us. I really loved it -- even before we went to dinner and Anita and I cuddled, hee (there are these moments when we're not even touching and I just feel this wave of lush calm from being in zir presence -- it's incredible). I think maybe it's that I felt like I could really trust each of them and that each of them were open to connecting with me and the others. And also that I really like each of them and want to know them more so I was very open to them.

It completely blows my mind that there are so many amazing people in my life. Such an abundance of love and acceptance and generosity of spirit! I am incredibly grateful.
Tags: arizona, chip, christa, crushes, green, hope, localtribe, those passing through, work

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