Belenen (belenen) wrote,

disclosure- herpes

As of a week ago, I have herpes. I think it is terribly unfair, considering that I've only had sex with 6 people, intercourse with 4 of those (always with a condom except for my previously-virginal ex-partner), and oral with 3. I've been careful dammit! AGH. When I talked to the doctor and told zir what happened right before, ze said it could be type 1 (which will recur as cold sores on my mouth) or type 2 (which will recur as blisters on my genitals AGHH) and ze doesn't know if the test results will tell me which kind it is. I could also have been carrying it for any length of time and just now had my first outbreak (which doesn't make much sense as I've been much less stressed lately). Apparently many people are carriers and never have an outbreak but pass it on.

I've never been in so much pain in my life. OH MY GOD OW. I've been laying around and bathing and taking mass amounts of ibuprofen and laying around more because it HURTS to walk. It is much better now than it was Friday and Saturday but it still hurts. It doesn't help that the doc forgot to call in my prescription! I called today and got zir voicemail, left a message, hope I can get meds tomorrow! They don't fix it but they're supposed to make the outbreak shorter. I'm pretty desperately hoping that either it's type 1 or I'm one of those lucky people who never get a second outbreak.

It annoys me that this feels like a shameful secret. So I'm making it public. Because having an STI or STD or whatever the fuck this is does not make me a bad person or dirty or 'promiscuous.' I plan to inform lovers before I have sex (because there is a slim chance of transmission even when one is not having a outbreak) and use proper precautions and all that. And if people judge me because of it, that is their problem and not mine.
Tags: sex

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