April 2018
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I'm the only 21-yr-old childless married woman


I think I am the only girl my age who has gotten married and isn't planning on kids right away. (I would prefer to wait 6 or 7 years) DAMMIT! I can't relate to singles easily 'cause I'm married and my world is different (although not as different as I thought it would be), I can't relate to married people 'cause they are either old or have kids.......... I'm so frustrated with this! And why can't I find a Benjamin Gate fan who is passionate about them (without being obsessive)? Why can't I find someone interesting who loves to beadweave?

And since my car got sick and I never go anywhere, I've become a bit of a hermit. The thing that I enjoy most right now, building my website, is a one-person-only thing, so I tend to want to be alone.
Rebecca has offered to hang out with me, but I don't want to do it 'cause I know I'd accept for the sake of the places we could go, not just her company.
I'd love to hang out with Allison, but it's the same thing with her, I'd feel guilty 'cause she'd have to pick me up, and I'd want to do it partially because I just want to go somewhere. And I'd feel guilty 'cause she's always busy, and if she takes time to be with me she'll likely get flak from her mom for not doing something else that "needs" to be done. (I don't think anyone over the age of eighteen can have a healthy relationship with their parents unless they are financially independent, 'cause parents still treat them like children, still feel they have a right to control. (If only college was free.))

feelings: unhappy
sounds: The Benjamin Gate: "Secret"

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Comments
jedibubbles ══╣╠══
WTF?! I'm not mad at you! And Mom's gotten alot better...
intense
belenen ══╣intense╠══
I edited it. ;-) You just seem.... standoffish? uninterested? I'm not criticising you, that's just how I feel. And I'm not saying it's wrong if you are.
jedibubbles ══╣╠══
How 'bout detatched? That's how I feel in general right now...
karmia ══╣╠══
Brilliant Plan!

1)Allison and I make up imaginary husbands (mine's Matt Damon!)
2)We hang out
3)A cool person who likes beadweaving and Benjamin Gate drops from the sky mid-hanging out
vivacious
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
Ha ha! (that was me literally laughing my characteristic loud, bursting laugh)
Great plan. Where shall we do it? Somewhere with a lot of sky, to make the "cool person who likes beadweaving and Benjamin Gate drops from the sky mid-hanging out" more likely.

You just totally brightened my day/life with your funniness!
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.