In a lot of ways my parents impressed the ways that I feel loved; they never showed interest in my dreams, thoughts, or creations, so I feel the most loved when someone seeks to learn what I desire, how I think, what I create. They gave me ritual touch (a hug and kiss before bed every night) so I loathe unthinking touch and feel deeply loved when I receive thoughtful, spontaneous touch (touch that I initiate has a much lower value to me, unless it's sexual). They never EVER went out of their way for me, so it's a big damn deal to me when someone does something thoughtful for me that takes a lot of time or effort. Their gifts showed a lack of understanding of who I am and what makes me happy (perfume? candles? boring "tasteful" jewelry? ugh) and often seemed just given out of duty, so gifts that express understanding of and/or connection with me make me very happy, and I can't stand giving or receiving out of obligation. Maybe these things are just "naturally" my ways of feeling loved and they happen to be the opposite of my parents' behavior, but that seems doubtful.
ponderings on parents and learning how to feel and show love
In a lot of ways my parents impressed the ways that I feel loved; they never showed interest in my dreams, thoughts, or creations, so I feel the most loved when someone seeks to learn what I desire, how I think, what I create. They gave me ritual touch (a hug and kiss before bed every night) so I loathe unthinking touch and feel deeply loved when I receive thoughtful, spontaneous touch (touch that I initiate has a much lower value to me, unless it's sexual). They never EVER went out of their way for me, so it's a big damn deal to me when someone does something thoughtful for me that takes a lot of time or effort. Their gifts showed a lack of understanding of who I am and what makes me happy (perfume? candles? boring "tasteful" jewelry? ugh) and often seemed just given out of duty, so gifts that express understanding of and/or connection with me make me very happy, and I can't stand giving or receiving out of obligation. Maybe these things are just "naturally" my ways of feeling loved and they happen to be the opposite of my parents' behavior, but that seems doubtful.
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I blocked my own self with guilt
icon: "overwhelmed (the character Keenan from "Playing By Heart," with hands over their face covering their eyes and head tilted back)" I have…
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lj cleanup / need a home weekend regularly
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after 17 days away from facebook, I've decided not to read my feed any more
icon: "distance (two hands (from a brown person and a white person) just barely apart, facing each other palm to palm)" Last night I ended my 17…
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