In the past this feeling heralds a soon-to-begin intense relationship (though, when I am feeling like this, a month or two does NOT feel soon). I don't even think I really have the time for it but my heart just doesn't give a shit, it wants wants wants. I think I've written about the stuck point in some of my relationships; distance and energy and time have just created this plateau, and I crave intense increase. There is a need that my relationships are just not meeting; which seems ridiculous to me considering how much good comes out of them, but maybe not, since everyone is so busy and tired. And maybe I couldn't even satisfy a person who actually had the free time and energy, maybe I'm longing for something that'll just end up causing stress and explosions, but fuck, I want it anyway. I'll bite the sun and if I burn my mouth, I burn it.
My unashamed desire
Is an open fire
And I'm not afraid to love
Open up my chest and take what you like
Open up my chest if you like
I've nothing to hide
eta: and after writing this of course I go looking through the journals of the people I miss and it just makes everything so much sharper. :-( All so far away...