We went over to my aunt's house tonight and I saw my cousins who have each grown about a foot since I saw them last (it's been years) and my aunt and grandmother. I am not sure what I was expecting but they were all nice to me and seemed happy to see me and have me around, and I didn't feel any judgement from them. I think I was expecting them to be politely distant and treat me like I didn't belong (... damn. My ex-partner's family really messed with my expectations). I don't think they (biofamily) ever actually treated me like that -- I have one vague memory of feeling like that but it could have been about something other than me. My aunt and cousin E and grandmother went and looked at my car and exclaimed approvingly about it (even after seeing the bumper stickers, heh). I told my aunt and cousin E about my crafty parties and asked if they would like to come and they said yes and seemed interested. And when I talked I could feel people listening -- not just hearing, but taking in and considering. That felt really good. I haven't felt that from that many people (outside of intimacy practice) in a very long time. And my grandmother asked if I still drew, which I didn't even remember zir knowing about, and when I talked about the art I do, they seemed interested. And my aunt asked if I had a facebook, to which I said yes and gave my name (with some trepidation) -- ze was surprised and asked questions about it but it was just genuine curiosity as far as I could tell. And then ze read the whole long note I have on facebook about why I chose my name, and remarked that ze also felt a lot of connection with Ireland (which is related to why I chose my last name). I felt really listened to and accepted in that response.
I'm feeling pretty nervous about the idea of opening up more to relatives but so far it has been only good, so we'll see how it goes.
