Belenen (belenen) wrote,
Belenen
belenen

living monogamously for the first time since 2009

I'm living monogamously right now: I'm not seeking out any new romantic connections and I'm not open to spontaneous romance/sex with people other than my lover. I still consider myself poly because this is only a temporary situation. I feel very little desire to create new romance right now, but when I do, I will transition my relationship with Topaz. Topaz has said that ze is willing to try it but that ze doesn't think ze will be able to handle it, and I feel like that's true, so I feel that it is likely that when I am actively poly again it will be the end of my romantic relationship with Topaz. And I love sex and kisses with Topaz way more than any others I've had so far, so I'm not giving those up lightly (we have both agreed that when we break up we will still be emotionally intimate and cuddly, so the sex and kisses are all that we intend to change).

It's been weird. I'm not used to having any artificial boundaries in my relationships (that is, boundaries set by something other than the ones directly involved). But the extra energy I have that I might have put into developing a new relationship I am instead putting into developing my friendships, and I am glad to have that as a possibility. I'm also glad to have people who can and will make plans with me in my tiny bit of spare time!
Tags: polyamory / relationship anarchy, relationships, romance, topaz, turning points
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