November 2017
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readings with Color Voices


Yesterday's readings for Anika, kiwi, anrui_ichido, kmiotutsie, and phoenixdreaming, with photos...

Anika

For past, ordinariness. I feel that in the past you've been profoundly alone, hiding your face. You surrounded yourself with beauty but it was always fragile and blew away with a puff of wind. You didn't see a way forward so you made do, you saw your surroundings as the whole of life.

Present: change. A whirl of forces you cannot control making impact on your life. I feel like the structure is relevant (there are plenty of cards in this deck that could also mean change): i feel like ritual (especially spiritual ritual but it doesn't have to be) will be of great help to you, will put you in the mindset to be able to see the patterns and make change gracefully rather than chaotically. And since I never noticed that this card has signs of the zodiac before, I think that's important but I don't know how. Especially Scorpio as that is jumping out at me.

Future: I feel like this card is saying that finally you'll get some rest- - you'll be making progress but at a rate that doesn't wear you out.

Vision: sharing. A good goal for you would be to share, not more than you can, but out of your abundance. To share what is on your mind a lot, unedited, just the parts that come forth strongly. Also, to be unjudgemental of whatever it is. Not looking twice at it before giving, instead trusting it will be received well. My interpretation is that this means blogging about your experiences, but it could be something like writing a book or even volunteering at a food bank; whatever first comes to mind as something you have an abundance of is probably the thing to share.


kiwi

Past: courage. I get the feeling you think you have used up all your courage getting to this point. You've drained that crack in the rock of all possible nutrients- now what? I think you expect to wither.

Present: past lives. I've never drawn this card before and feel unsure as to what it may mean. Looking at it I get a sense of conflict, a pressure from past selves to do something. Maybe you're feeling stuck? Like you're on a path you can't change because of the momentum built up. Or because of expectations you had of yourself. Maybe it would be good to ask yourself what you would do if there were no expectations. If you wouldn't be disappointed in yourself and no one else would either. What might you change? And then, what would you be risking and what might you gain if you acted on that?

Future: integration. When I saw this card I felt a sense of relief, like there is part of you you are afraid you'll have to sacrifice but you won't; you'll find a way to connect and balance them. The sense I get is of you standing firm about something important and the two things at odds gradually molding together because you won't let them have barriers between.

Vision: the outsider. When I asked for explanation I got the card "morality" then i shuffled and got "trust" and "morality" again. So, my best interpretation is that you feel like an outsider and have for a long time and that it has something to do with morality: yours versus that of others. The outsider card is a little kid who wants in- the chain is unlocked but the kid doesn't see it. I'm feeling like this is talking about perception. That maybe people have put you on the outside but now you see it happening when it doesn't just because you're used to it. I feel like the message here is, let yourself in. You may find that you don't like what you find inside but you need to know it's your choice. You don't need to wait. I don't know how you go about opening the gate- maybe be pushy and invite yourself where you expect to not be wanted? Ultimately I feel like for vision, you need to focus on taking action, especially any action that shakes up your usual patterns.


anrui_ichido

Past: abundance. The past card is usually something you're urged to move on from. So perhaps there is a job or some other source of income that needs to be left behind, or maybe a connection with a generous person that is not good to keep investing in right now.

Present: transformation. When I looked at this for the first time I saw a sleeping face under the dark figure, and Noe Venable's song "Black Madonna" began playing in my head. (If you listen maybe that song will have relevance to you) I feel you are in a period of transformation, becoming more fierce and free. I feel like you're starting to set boundaries in a new way.

Future: ripeness. There's a piece of fruit so ripe it is falling from the tree.I feel like this means that your wait is almost over, that something you've been tending to for a long time is finally coming to fruition, and very soon.

Vision: inner voice. I feel like thongs are about to get very hectic for you and there will be more voices than usual trying to get you to go their way. Don't trust their voices over your own: make sure you get enough alone time to check in with yourself and see what you really feel is best.


kmiotutsie

Past: isolation. I feel like this is in reference to where you just moved from last year, the fact that you were so isolated for so long. I think that that had more of a lasting impact on you than you might realize. Are there any habits you can think of now that might have formed due to so much lack?

Present: healing. I feel like this one is saying two things. 1 you've been impatient with yourself; you're in a period of healing and need to treat yourself kindly. Resting and doing things that make your heart feel nourished is important. 2 something about massage, but I don't know what. Maybe practicing a different technique? Sorry I can't give a better explanation there.

Future: I feel like this card is saying you're gonna get lots better at reading people and situations, that their false fronts are going to become easy for you to see through. You gotta trust your intuition above what you see though.

Vision: adventure. "Wander off into the wilderness" was a phrase that came to me looking at the card. I think your life will become more what you want if, for the next little while, you make decisions asking yourself, "which choice is the greater adventure?" Also, hiking in the woods.


phoenixdreaming

Past: the outsider. I feel like this was your identity for a long time, and you're being urged to leave it behind. People don't want to keep you out any more. They're just lazy fucks who unlocked the door and didn't bother unweaving the chain.

Present: the rebel. Broken chains! Wings everywhere! You're becoming yourself, and it's glorious. You're lighting your own path instead of letting other people guide you.when I saw this one it made me super happy because it is the same thing I've been feeling about your current self.

Future: participation. When I saw this I was reminded of the burner principle of radical participation, which is what I feel this card is saying. If you see something you want done, do it. If you see a gap, fill it. Don't consider whether or not you are 'good enough' because if it's not being done, you are needed. You got this! Participation is not just showing up, its helping to build the things you want to exist.

Vision: consciousness. The first thing that came to mind was lucid dreaming. If that interests you, I feel like you're being urged to explore it. Also, generally, I feel like maintaining greater consciousness of yourself would be helpful, maybe a daily mood chart, or just a check-in with yourself at the end of each day to see if you learned anything new. I also get a feeling of expansion; what makes you feel larger, greater than usual? I feel you are being urged to do that more often, whatever it is.

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I included the photos so that if my interpretation doesn't ring true, you can look at them and see if you find something that resonates more. Please let me know if anything resonates or falls flat.

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Comments
kiwi ══╣╠══
Whoa.
I'm sitting here with my jaw in my lap.

Past: courage. I get the feeling you think you have used up all your courage getting to this point.

So, no surprise, I'm in the midst of a large career leap (a jump doesn't quite suit this...this is a leap) and I'm...beat. I'm spending my days studying for my boards and wondering if I'll even make it in this world. This is dead on. I keep wondering how I'm going to keep up the energy to face the next hurdle. And the one after that.

Present: past lives. I've never drawn this card before and feel unsure as to what it may mean. Looking at it I get a sense of conflict, a pressure from past selves to do something. Maybe you're feeling stuck? Like you're on a path you can't change because of the momentum built up. Or because of expectations you had of yourself.

It's the expectations I have of myself, I think. Like...I need to appease some version of me, perhaps the version that sacrificed everything to abruptly change everything that was wrong, including my career and my love life, and I'm afraid I'll never get past where I am now. I WANT to continue this path but I'm afraid to at the same time. And I think a lot of that fear is letting down everyone who's believed in me at some point.

Future: integration. When I saw this card I felt a sense of relief, like there is part of you you are afraid you'll have to sacrifice but you won't; you'll find a way to connect and balance them. The sense I get is of you standing firm about something important and the two things at odds gradually molding together because you won't let them have barriers between.

I'm still trying to figure out how that fits into my life right now. Except that I'm working on a healthy pattern of balance that will hopefully stick with me as I continue past the "study for boards" phase and enter the "do the actual job" phase. A balance with my relationships as well...that's been a struggle the past two years. I'd like to have both be in good places and myself be physically and emotionally healthy...so maybe that's where this is headed?

Vision: (...cut...) I feel like the message here is, let yourself in. You may find that you don't like what you find inside but you need to know it's your choice. You don't need to wait.

I feel like this is speaking directly to the misery of my world the past couple of years...imposter syndrome. "I don't belong here." "I'm not smart enough to be here." You saying "let yourself in" spoke very strongly to me.

I guess a lot of my issues are internal. I'm my own worst enemy at times, and I've known that to be true for as long as I can remember.

I think I needed to hear this. All of this. Thank you. So very much.
anrui_ichido ══╣╠══
kmiotutsie ══╣╠══
I love love LOVE it!! Thank you so much for the reading and the insights, Bel!! <3
Anika Cunningham ══╣╠══
For past, ordinariness. I feel that in the past you've been profoundly alone, hiding your face. You surrounded yourself with beauty but it was always fragile and blew away with a puff of wind. You didn't see a way forward so you made do, you saw your surroundings as the whole of life.

This is very much the story of what my relationship with my ex-husband was, what I'm trying to break free of now that it's finally over. My safety was reliant upon hiding everything that was special about me, it's just the way an abusive dynamic works. Everything was about him, making him happy, being the perfect wife for him, even when it was distinctly at my expense, when it meant giving up parts of me to better fit his ideal.

Present: change. A whirl of forces you cannot control making impact on your life.

I do feel like everything's beyond my grip right now. I rather wish that wasn't the case, because I don't like being out of control.

i feel like ritual (especially spiritual ritual but it doesn't have to be) will be of great help to you, will put you in the mindset to be able to see the patterns and make change gracefully rather than chaotically.

Spiritual ritual is something I cut out of my life for my ex. It's something I've been wanting to bring back into my life, for a number of reasons. I requested some books on the subject on my birthday wish list, so hopefully I'll get something that will help me transition back into a more spiritual mindset.

Future: I feel like this card is saying that finally you'll get some rest- - you'll be making progress but at a rate that doesn't wear you out.

That would be nice!

Vision: sharing. A good goal for you would be to share, not more than you can, but out of your abundance. To share what is on your mind a lot, unedited, just the parts that come forth strongly. Also, to be unjudgemental of whatever it is. Not looking twice at it before giving, instead trusting it will be received well. My interpretation is that this means blogging about your experiences, but it could be something like writing a book or even volunteering at a food bank; whatever first comes to mind as something you have an abundance of is probably the thing to share.

I've been trying to feel more comfortable blogging personally, sharing pieces of my everyday self with more people. I'm trying to reach out more (as is probably evident in that I reached out to you) and stop bottling everything up and living in my own tiny bubble. The bubble isn't good for me.
delicatexflower ══╣cartoon-me-love╠══

those cards are beautiful! i hope you will do more readings in the future :)
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.