November 2017
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Jayuses, poo, farts, and sheer absurdities.


a 'jayus' is "a joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh.”

I love these. They're probably my favorite kind of joke, especially if there's poop or farts involved. My friend Adi would sometimes randomly, in a high-pitched over-the-top "I'm being adorable" tone, squat slightly and say "poops!" and I always laughed. My friend Kylei would make the most painfully obvious puns and I would groan, and then laugh. My lover Topaz and I ate some old eggs and had the worst farts in the history of life, and I think we laughed more that night than any other night (in between burying our faces in pillows). But by far the best of all is "the badkidsjokes tumblr." I'll laugh until I cry at that one. Here are some of my favorites:

What Smells Bad And Putts People To Sleep
Uh…Tear Gas
NO. Your bottem

There were three guys on a plane.
One bit into an apple, thought it was too sweet. He threw it out the window.
The second guy bit into a rock.

what do you call peach that has a line on it?
butt fruit

why shoudnt you go to the fridge without permition
because it will come for its revenge

how did the man clibed the ifful towoer
becase his butt was on fire

why did the poo cross the road
becuse he needed to find a toilit so he did not have a baby poo in public

man: you are evil
other man: i am not
man:yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
[both mans die]

Q:why did the monkey fall out the tree
A:because it was DEAD

and absurd misreads like this one absolutely slay me.

(for LJ Idol topic 1: Jayus)

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Comments
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bunnika ══╣suzu: big grin╠══
Oh man ask Suzu to tell you some jokes. She really likes knock-knock jokes. They go something like:

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Banana fart butt!
belenen ══╣giggling╠══
I shouted with laughter at that. Suzu would find me an excellent audience :D
butterbyitself ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣amused╠══
:D I feel ya! I think I like absurdities even more, and when they're mixed I just die laughing.
alycewilson ══╣╠══
The one about the monkey falling out of the tree is actually sort of funny! My 3-year-old loves poop jokes, too. In fact, he's kind of a little Beavis right now, running around and saying "Poop" and then laughing crazily.
belenen ══╣artless╠══
haha! well all of them made me shout with laughter, but my sense of humor is not sophisticated ;-)
crazed_delusion ══╣╠══
I don't think fart jokes will ever stop being funny.

Also being in the gaming community 69 jokes are hilarious and the go to. What level is this? 69!
belenen ══╣amused╠══
I agree! Everyone's all "I'm 12" and I'm like "I'm 31, I laugh, it's the not-funny that makes it funny." ;-)
sidheblessed ══╣ArielFlounder╠══
Jaysuses are my specialty (and Finn's too come to think of it.) ^____^ My friends and I spend a lot of time making fart jokes and laughing when one of us farts. So of course I was crying with laughter at these.

Have you ever seen either of the Despicable Me movies? The Minions in them make lots of jayuses. My favourite is when they're just standing there saying "Butt!" to each other and giggling.
belenen ══╣giggling╠══
OH MY GOD Despicable Me, yes, I loooooooved them! that part in the second one where she says "he's putting on lipstick! he's swatting a fly! he's chopping his head off! he's... pooping?" is literally the funniest thing I've ever seen, I had to pause and rewind because I was laughing so hard I almost peed myself. I gotta add that to this entry.
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
cheshire23 ══╣╠══
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
caile ══╣╠══
Kid jokes are so great. I was sad that I just used my new favourite in my intro post!
belenen ══╣amused╠══
they are! I need more kids around to make me laugh.
phoenixejc ══╣╠══
Old eggs can be a killer!
belenen ══╣ewwwww╠══
don't I know it!
Heather Hambel Curley ══╣╠══
Lol, that's what I blogged about too. I'm perpetually twelve and still giggle like no one's business at fart humor. It makes me laugh hysterically when my two year old, when having his diaper changed, warns passersby: "Watch out!! Poop!!"
belenen ══╣giggling╠══
lolz, I'd laugh hysterically at that too!
x_disturbed_x ══╣╠══
Bathroom humor really never gets old. ;)
belenen ══╣amused╠══
:D
basric ══╣WRITING: Paper/Laugh GIF╠══
Interesting.
aliki ══╣╠══
I've never heard of the term "jayus" before, but boy, do they sound like kid jokes! Hahah!

Like, Erika's joke yesterday was:

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange on my head!
baxaphobia ══╣╠══
hahahaha.
suesniffsglue ══╣╠══
'
I'm such a glutton for puns.. and misreads!

The last joke, the monkey in the tree one.. that was my go to for awhile as a kid. Nice job!
roina_arwen ══╣Beth - Oops!╠══
Kids tell the weirdest jokes sometimes!
az_starshine ══╣╠══
Oh, jeez, I love this.

I am pretty sure, like most other commenters here, that I am also a twelve year old boy in disguise.
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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.