Xena: I love this for so many reasons. I identify with Xena because I feel like I went through that transformation from disconnected and lost to feeling like I can connect with the world again. I identify with Gabrielle because I have been the one who has to poke and prod to get someone to learn to communicate (many times) and because I would make similar choices if I was given similar experiences. I also identify with their relationship because I've been in relationships with a similar dynamic. And I identify a LOT with Callisto in all zir incarnations; zir wild fierceness is something that just resonates on an energetic level with me.
Saving Grace: This show feels SO fucking close to my heart. Grace is so fucking honorable and brave, I love love love zir. And while there are some parts of the spiritual mythicality that I don't like, most of it resonates strongly. I feel like if I had stayed in a small town, I would have become a lot more like Grace. The way they portray the south in that show is so true to my feeling about it and it's beautiful to me; people being loud and expressive and messy and playful. I love the way Grace handles every crisis in zir life and in zir past; there's nothing I can remember zir doing that I don't feel is true and so fucking nakedly passionate. I think even though I don't feel like I am Grace, I love zir more than any other character in any show or film I've seen. I actually miss zir like ze was a friend of mine and now that the show is over, ze's gone. I felt that way the first time I watched it and the second time too.
Medium: I started watching this from musicandmisery's recommendation (also true for Saving Grace). The thing I love the most about it is the relationships between Allison & Joe and the kids. It's the most realistic and true love I've ever seen on a show, such daily life struggles handled with mistakes and deep respect. I identify so much with Allison: I don't experience visions for the most part but I feel that struggle between trying to believe in your intuition and your own experience while other people want you to submit to their disbelief. I feel for Joe too; I've been that person that has to be like "and now we have to think about the practical aspects" and "okay let's take a breath and stop freaking out." And I think the supernatural stuff is handled really well; it's not done for creepy effect nor is it unrealistically a secret from everyone in the sensitive person's life. And the kids are just fucking awesome characters; Brigit practically IS my little sister.
Lost Girl: I love this show SO MUCH (except for the transphobic first episode of the 3rd season -- SKIP IT and the show is brilliant). I identify so much with Kenzie; with feeling like the only one like me in a world where everyone else has an extra sense but me and with zir intense loyalty and bravery. I also love Kenzie because ze reminds me of Topaz, so it's a strange mix. Without Kenzie in the show I don't think I'd care very much. Also Vex! with zir genderqueerness and strange forms of caretaking and the whole fucked-up-person-tries-to-show-love, that gets me every time.
Grey's Anatomy: not one of my favorite shows, but I keep watching it because of Christina and Callie. It's so fucking cool to see my facial expressions and movements on tv! Sara Ramirez (Callie) and I make such similar faces it's ridic, and the values of Callie's character make so much sense to me. Christina is important to me because of the deep valuing of friendship between Christina and Meredith, and because Christina is one of those people that gets treated as a cold unfeeling person because ze is intense and frank about everything. I love zir and every damn time ze cries I cry.
The L Word: I loved Jenny. I loved watching zir unfurl and come to believe in zirself, and I hated what they did to zir character in the last season; it was a complete break from the past and just RIDICULOUSLY bad writing. I loved zir commitment to honesty even when it drove everyone away. I loved how ze loved; so unabashedly, wildly and destructively. I loved how ze poked people, trying to get them to self examine, and it bothered me that no one saw it as it was. I loved zir generosity, the way ze saw people so clearly and compassionately and never judged. Ze would never have told those massive lies in the last season; the writers just fucked up. It was SO out of character; Jenny's 'dysfunction' was always about being too honest.
Moonlight: I love this show because it's a male/female romance/drama that isn't gross. And that NEVER HAPPENS. The show calls out sexist shit and doesn't make the characters into cardboard genders. Mick is never afraid of appearing weak and Beth is never afraid of appearing strong. It's just a huge fucking relief. Also this is the only show with a vampire myth that I find fascinating instead of flat and/or ridiculously dramatic. I identify with Beth and Mick, with the one who doesn't give up and the one who feels not good enough to know.
There are some character types I always resonate with:
the 'cynic' or 'evil' one that tries to make connections and is clumsy and usually rejected.
the sensitive one who sees/notices things other people don't or takes honest actions other people wouldn't and is treated as 'crazy'.
the wild ones who live for desire and not in avoidance of fear; who are violent but in honorable ways.
the one who has to be the solid counterpoint for a lover that often goes off balance.
the ones who express their feelings about people in ways that are 'inappropriate', who emote boldly and take risks for relationships.
(this one is RARE) the ones who are careful about consent in sex AND in any power dynamic.
the person who holds back because they feel like they are not a good person for others to know.