This center is a place I had been once before for an open ritual (where we did a releasing ceremony and a gratitude ritual); I feel like it is a place that is, wonder of wonders, spiritual without being classist or (as far as I can tell) otherwise reinforcing of oppression. I hadn't been to an energy healing there but since the crash this weekend I feel very clear on the fact that I need to put more effort into spiritual things, and I also feel that I am in need of healing. I got out of the habit of realizing when I need spiritual healing after breaking up with Kylei -- one of the things we used to do was regularly check in and cleanse each other. Right now I feel pretty fragile so I am seeking as many sources as possible.
I went in and sat down, and after a little rest, a person came over and began to do energy work on me. I closed my eyes and consciously accepted the healing. The healer circled me and then focused on particular areas, including my feet and knees. When ze was in front of me, another person came over and stood behind me. I could feel healing energy coming from them, stronger than what I felt from the first person. The second person floated their hands above my shoulders, and I could feel the heat from them. Then the first person tapped me on one shoulder and that felt very strange, I was confused, maybe the second person moved their hand very fast? but it felt like the tap went through the hand. I could feel the second person still working though so I kept my eyes closed, but I felt pretty sure at this point that the second person was not a physical presence. They kept their hand on my left shoulder and I felt an urge, a tug almost, to stretch out my left wing (my energetic self has wings sometimes but I don't often feel them), so I did. Then they wrapped their left arm around my waist and put their right hand over my right shoulder and on my heart, with their head on my left shoulder. I felt this as heat-presence but not as physical (there was no weight to any of the touch), and I kept trying to feel out who it was. I felt laughter, fierceness and teeth, very strong very amber warm gold lemon fire energy, certainty that it wasn't any being I had previously felt, and I still wasn't sure but I thought perhaps Sekhmet? Eventually I felt zir urge me to open my left hand, so I did, and ze put two grey bone/stone/horn sticks into it, like fat chopsticks with markings on all four sides, not tapering very much. I wondered what they were and felt they were divination rods. I was urged to close my hand around them so I did. Shortly after, I opened my eyes and talked with the first healer, asking if ze was the only one working on me and ze said yes -- then hesitated -- then said "the only physical person working on you." Ze mentioned zir guides but I don't think it was one of them unless ze has a relationship with Sekhmet. I was still feeling the presence, like a warmth at my back and along my left arm and wing. If they had not been closing up soon after, I would have sat silently for much longer, absorbing the energy. At one point during the healing, I thought of the idea of reading part of a spiritual book each day, to keep in daily practice which is my goal, and that feels much more attainable than meditating each day.
The rods I felt were important -- I have no idea how I would use them, but I feel the need to make them. Not as they were in my minds eye when they were put into my hand (I feel that image was just the only one in my head for 'divination rod'), but in a way that is both me and this presence that I'm currently interpreting as Sekhmet. So I went straight from there to the new age store and bought stones, which felt both foolish financially and very important spiritually. I had the idea of using wire and sculpey to weave them into rods, so on the way home I stopped at a craft store, went to the correct section and the only thing on sale (half off!) on that aisle was the exact blocks of sculpey I was getting. I felt this as another synchronicity telling me that I was making the right choice.
Later that evening I had another strong intuitional moment when Topaz accidentally got e-cig juice on zir lip and had nicotine poisoning but couldn't leave work and couldn't focus long enough to search the internet for a cure (ze kept feeling like puking and dizzy). I looked and first couldn't find anything, asked Topaz if ze wanted me to call poison control and ze said no. I felt Topaz was done looking but I felt an urge to look again and found that sugar helps (because apparently nicotine messes up your insulin) and also lots of water, and told Topaz, and it helped, just in time for the crunch time at zir job.