Belenen (belenen) wrote,

reading spiritual book daily / sharing spirituality esp. w Topaz / doing more art / feeling stagnant

Since I determined to read part of a spiritual book everyday (and set a timer on my phone because that is the only way I can remember), I have actually been keeping up with it and it has been very good for me. I feel like I need daily doses of magic I can sit in for at least 10 minutes (instead of passing magic that lasts a minute or less, which is far easier to find). I feel more connected to my spirituality, more able to be aware. I feel like, if I keep this up, it will not be as daunting a task to sit and meditate. Annnd reading a little bit every day instead of devouring the book in one sitting means that it fills my consciousness longer.

I also feel more able to share my spirituality since Topaz shared with me that ze was actively desiring to host a ritual (but feels the need to clean zir entire house first); I feel like that made me feel confident that Topaz wasn't just being empathetic and curious but had zir own motivation for expressing spirituality, which is new and exciting. It has been a long time since I was fully connected to someone who was spiritual in practice. I have a lot of people in my life who are spiritual, but not any who are active enough to create a ritual in which I can participate but am not necessary for it to exist. I'm just starting to get to the point where I have the confidence to do that myself.

I've also been doing more art: two fractals in the past two days (which is pretty much as fast as you can go because they take like 2 hours to make and then 12+ hours to render), and before that I did makeup and self-portraits (I want to replace a bunch of my old icons and I want my faces for certain expressions that I don't have icons for, like skepticism and awkwardness). Also I had a friend come over this week and craft with me, which was great because I did all of these plasticine clay beads and pendants. I feel closer to being able to make the wands (so intimidated by that project though). In answer to Vola's question, I don't have specific intent to work with Sekhmet more, because it just depends on whether or not ze visits and/or communicates with me again. After two experiences I tend to feel that the connection is more than a random gift (because they happened to be paying attention / in the area), and will try to find ways to honor and appreciate them.

Even though looking at this I can see that it is not true, at the same time as all this I've been feeling stagnant, in part because I haven't been able to motivate to tidy (though I did two loads of laundry! finally! after meaning to do it every day for a week) because it has been body-squishingly hot at my house (the air conditioner broke and I can't even open the windows because the dehumidifier is already pulling like 2 gallons of water a day) and I've been spending more time at Topaz'. I really need to do a whirlwind tidy session but it is hard to do alone :-p
Tags: art, spirituality, topaz

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