October 2018
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PSA: teenager bodies are not adult bodies so stop trying to look like a teen if you're an adult


[body talk, food talk, size changes]If you ate healthily (as in, 'did not have an eating disorder,' not as in 'ate only salads') and were active when you were 25-26, that's the minimum size of your adult body. Trying to get smaller than that is going to cause your body to suffer. And if you're not yet 26, your body is going to keep on changing because you are not grown up yet. Most humans change shape between adolescence and adulthood (which doesn't start until your mid-twenties!). Please, please stop trying to look like a teenager. That is not seeking health, it is seeking a look at the cost of health. Very few people are naturally the same size from 19 to death. (and those people are not 'lucky' they are just unusual. don't fetishize their bodies)

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Comments
Ginger Snaps
wolfteaparty ══╣Ginger Snaps╠══
I wish I'd realized that it was not healthy for people to point out that I "looked so great back then" in seventh grade and needed to get back down to that size. The more I think about it, the more twisted it sounds...
curvygirl -- art (Zorn fireglow)
belenen ══╣curvygirl -- art (Zorn fireglow)╠══
I feel ya! It bothers me so much every time someone says that they 'need' to get to their teenage size. I wish there wasn't this fucked up industry ruining people's relationships with their bodies.
wolfteaparty ══╣╠══
Right?! Now I find it sad all those years thinking that I "needed" to get back down to the size I was when I was only in middle school, and feeling like any size that was bigger was "too fat" (thanks in part to other people's comments) :(
queerbychoice ══╣╠══
I think it goes a lot further than that, though. Even in adulthood, bodies can't possibly stay the same forever. Even the size you were at 26 may not necessarily come naturally to you at 56. And even if you do weigh the same amount at 76 that you weighed at 36, your body will be significantly differently shaped.
curvygirl -- me (nude)
belenen ══╣curvygirl -- me (nude)╠══
I know, I'm just railing against the idea that the acceptable minimum is what you were at 18.
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
I remember reading once that your ideal weight for pregnancy is what you weighed when you got your first period. I think I've read that outside the context of pregnancy, too. For me that means I'd have to weigh what I did at 10½ . That's horrific in any context. How can an adult weigh only what a 10½-year-old child does?

I'm very disturbed by society's tendency to fetishise teenage bodies (or, in the above example, children's bodies!) Aside from the idea of adults finding teenage bodies more aesthetically and sexually pleasing than adult bodies, it comes with the message that meeting those standards of attractiveness is more important than being healthy.
snarling
belenen ══╣snarling╠══
ALL of this! Exactly!
i too feel this way
raoin ══╣i too feel this way╠══
yeah, omg. i was 11. i think i weighed all of like 70-lbs soaking wet back then. i was 27 when i got pregnant. weighed 185lbs. and i was so freaking proud of myself because i'd recently lost 25lbs and the first ob/gyn doc i saw spent a large portion of our appointment talking about how my goal was to not gain any weight at all because i was already 'much too heavy' to be having a baby.

never mind that a woman's blood supply doubles in pregnancy. or that amniotic fluid gain varies from woman to woman and fluctuates over the course of a pregnancy. never mind that a whole other being is growing inside of you. no, of course you need to make sure you dont gain 'too much weight'.

arrgh. sorry to rant at you. just, jeeze. that's ridiculous.
angry
sidheblessed ══╣angry╠══
Medical staff can be so harshly critical of pregnant bodies, to the point of medical negligence. When I was pregnant, I went to see a physiotherapist about the back pain I was experiencing. As soon as I said I had back pain, without even examining me, she said "Well losing weight would probably help." She then refused to help me, other than to tell me to exercise more, because I obviously had back pain due to being fat and unfit. She said I had to go away and get fit, then she might think of helping.

A few days after giving birth, I had a midwife come around to give me a check up. She spent the entire time telling me I was fat and what not to eat. I'd given birth not even a week prior and, oddly enough, was not actually thinking about losing any weight.

Now I've ranted at you! It is totally ridiculous and almost five years later it still makes me livid.
little me
raoin ══╣little me╠══
i recall in the prenatal classes we took one of the nurses spent a good 5 minutes telling us that when we come in for our check-ups at 6 weeks she better not see us with our flabby hanging bellies and that it was strictly up to us to get back in shape as quickly as possible.

i recall thinking at the time that this was somehow doable (after all, if it wasnt, why would she ask it of us?) and now that i've been post-natal (as it were) i find the assumption that any of even all of the women taking the class should have been able to somehow regain their pre-pregnancy physiques in the 6 weeks following birth. much less in the two years since mine.

yep. still makes me angry. i dont understand why they feel so entitled.
balatstar ══╣╠══
i was 150 pounds when i was a teen, though. so i wouldn't even want to try to look like that again. xD
Shane - L Word - Stare
classical_wolf ══╣Shane - L Word - Stare╠══
I wish this had been pointed out to me years ago! ♥ HUGS!
wolfteaparty ══╣╠══
Me too! *sigh*
bunnika ══╣╠══
thumbs up
raoin ══╣thumbs up╠══
this. the geometry of my body is just became different. :)
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
Yep. My body has just changed after pregnancy. I've gained a lot of weight as a side effect of medication but even when I was closer to my pre-birth weight, it was clear that my shape had changed.
raidingparty ══╣╠══
Oh dear... I don't suppose I should mention going to Prom over the weekend...
keiwontia ══╣╠══
My sister-in-law went to prom over the weekend, too, with their best friend. Some kind of adult prom thing. :)
theindiequeen ══╣╠══
Thank you for posting this.

I've been kind of obsessing over the 20 or so pounds I've gained in the last several years. But I don't feel unhealthy (I exercise at least 3 times a week and eat healthy for the most part - I even gave up drinking and smoking almost entirely). I don't even feel "unattractive." But I think I had been comparing myself to what I used to look like when I was like 24, 25 ish.

Anyway, so when I read this post, I kind of had an "oh yeah, that really is true" moment. And now I haven't changed my eating or exercise habits, but I put away my scale and stopped obsessing. :-)
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.