Belenen (belenen) wrote,
Belenen
belenen

If I loved it as a kid I love it now: the world of tiny, reading, woods, talking, thinking

My idea of fun has changed very little since I was a kid. Even then, I cringed when watching movies where people crashed into things and made a huge mess, and a food fight never sounded like anything but a giant disgusting chore made by selfish brats. The idea of having a monkey as a pet would never have appealed to me because I wouldn't want to clean up after it.

What was fun to me was tiny magical toys, being in the woods, reading, talking, and thinking. I only had one fairy winkle as a child but have since used ebay to build a collection that I then spent upwards of 10 hours building a tree home for. Yes I still sometimes take them out in the woods to play. Trees are even more important to me now that I have learned more about them and become able to connect with them in a mutual way.And books? Even though I don't have unlimited time to read anymore, I have 500+ books now and I still carry a book almost everywhere I go. Talking is still a favorite: not chatting, mind you, but communicating a mutual sharing of meaningful thoughts. Like discussing relationship difficulties or the nature of reality or the possibilities that lie in what we do not know.

And thinking. I don't sink into it as deeply as I did as a kid because the fantasies about my own house and land and snow leopard now have become a little worn, and a little tinged with the sorrow of slim chance. But I am never bored if I can think. If I have to pay attention to something that prevents me thinking, I will nearly die of boredom, but otherwise, my mind is a playground.

I've heard many people express longing for a return to childlike wonder, for the freedom of childhood. I wasn't free as a child, and maybe that's why the things in which I found joy became so deeply a part of me. Or maybe I just experience less shame than most and can embrace these things as much as I ever did. Or maybe because I thought so much about how I was devalued for being a child, I determined that I would never see childish things as lesser, and kept my word to myself.
Tags: trees, writing prompts
Subscribe

  • quick question

    icon: "curious (my face, looking straight forward with one eyebrow up and a sideways smile, head tilted down a little)"

  • LJ idol poll

    icon: "challenging (photo of me lifting one eyebrow and slightly squinting my eyes, wearing "Red Queen" makeup: searingly red lips, darkened…

  • thanks for being wonderful, LJ friends / poll: where do you live?

    icon: "interconnectedness (two bald purple-skinned people in the ocean: from Joan Slonczewski's "Door Into Ocean")" Finally caught up on replying…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 17 comments

  • quick question

    icon: "curious (my face, looking straight forward with one eyebrow up and a sideways smile, head tilted down a little)"

  • LJ idol poll

    icon: "challenging (photo of me lifting one eyebrow and slightly squinting my eyes, wearing "Red Queen" makeup: searingly red lips, darkened…

  • thanks for being wonderful, LJ friends / poll: where do you live?

    icon: "interconnectedness (two bald purple-skinned people in the ocean: from Joan Slonczewski's "Door Into Ocean")" Finally caught up on replying…