November 2017
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random: how I shield from negative energy / processing vs support / finding people who click w you


on shielding:
I don't really shield much because I like to feel intensely. Instead if I am feeling bad I check to see if there is a cause in my life, and if there isn't, I assume I picked up someone else's feelings. I'll clear them out by taking deep breaths and envisioning breathing out the negative feeling and bringing in positive, or by burning incense, or by shaking bells. Sometimes I envision sending down roots to the center of the earth, burying them in plasma, and having bolts of bright energy come up the roots and burn out anything that isn't good for me.

When I know I am going to be in a place where I will need to shield, I tell myself affirmations. I repeat several times "I am calm and nothing can harm me" or "I am safe and whole" or something similar while envisioning a protective bubble forming around me and then thickening to only let good in.

When I am in the moment and feel waves of someone else's feelings coming at me, I envision myself pushing it away, and will often do a small gesture to make this more real to myself (like, just holding my palm vertical to the floor and flicking my fingers from touching my palm to straight up). Then I do the bubble thing, with eyes closed, just visualizing it.

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on processing being interrupted by support:
When I haven't fully processed an issue, support (which usually means the person deciding that something is bad and pushing against it 'with' or 'for' me) can be really upsetting. Which is why I don't often share things that I haven't fully processed, because I don't want people forming judgements that I will then have to undo in order to figure out how I feel about it. I don't really know how to guard against that.

The thing I would most like would be to be able to share my confused beginning feelings and have someone ask me questions that help me turn the situation in a lot of directions to get more understanding.

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on finding people who will click with you in a meaningful way:
As you develop, the person who would fit with you changes, so a person who fits with you today won't fit anymore in three months unless you are at a stable place in your life or they happen to be growing in similar/compatible ways.

How to find them? my best luck has been them coming into my life as a result of being very open and honest. All the best people in my life came in for that reason. I initiated so few of my connections, or if I did initiate, it was in such small ways. (most things I initiate seem to fail, yet I keep trying -- hopefully I will learn the trick of it!) I imagine that whatever value or quality you most want in a partner, radiate that as much as you can, and they will come to you.

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Comments
cadaver ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣nascent╠══
You are most welcome! I definitely understand that feeling of exhaustion: when I am around people who are not good at managing their emotions, I get so weary it's ridiculous. My biofamily is bad for me in that way. I wish I'd remember to shield more around them! most of my friends are safe so I forget what it is like to need to shield.

You are so sweet! I am glad to have you in my life as well.
hands_cupped ══╣╠══
"n finding people who will click with you in a meaningful way:
As you develop, the person who would fit with you changes, so a person who fits with you today won't fit anymore in three months unless you are at a stable place in your life or they happen to be growing in similar/compatible ways.

How to find them? my best luck has been them coming into my life as a result of being very open and honest. All the best people in my life came in for that reason. I initiated so few of my connections, or if I did initiate, it was in such small ways. (most things I initiate seem to fail, yet I keep trying -- hopefully I will learn the trick of it!) I imagine that whatever value or quality you most want in a partner, radiate that as much as you can, and they will come to you."


I struggle a lot with this, lately. Reading this is interesting and helpful. I have a lot of trouble getting things to "click" when I try to initiate, too. I'm really not sure why this is, in my case, though I can think of a few possibilities (perhaps I am not being as upfront or clear as I think I am being, due to my insecurities and fears of rejection... or maybe those feelings radiate more than I realize. Or maybe I misjudge where I am, or where other people are, or both, so I'm unknowingly working with the wrong puzzle pieces. I dunno.) All I know it that it's confusing to me in so many ways and for so many reasons... partially since initiating is a new thing for me.

Anyway, I wish you luck in gaining perspective and figuring out what works for you, and such.

belenen ══╣honesty╠══
For years I have been trying to figure out why I have so little luck with initiating, but I am baffled! Thanks for the luck in figuring it out ;-)
contrabandits ══╣╠══

I love your approach to "shielding." I, like you, do not like to close myself off to new emotional and spiritual experiences and therefore open myself to a lot of "noise." you've inspired me to be more mindful of how that might affect my mood and how I relate with others with that being considered. Thank you :)

belenen ══╣effervescent╠══
thank you! I am very glad this was helpful to you :)
raidingparty ══╣╠══
Past shielding
I'm not sure if you're familiar with this concept, so I thought I'd describe it:
My mum has suggested a style of shielding that ends up repairing past traumas. You briefly imagine the scene, whatever they said or the thoughts you had, and re-interpret it as energy (acid? lightning? snot?). Then you come up with a shield that diffuses that kind of energy. Replay from lesser to greater intensity until you can see the whole thing in detail with no damage to your bubble.
Then when you come back to present, you've changed the past so the present feels different.
belenen ══╣progressing╠══
Re: Past shielding
very interesting! I've done a similar thing in therapy before, not with the shielding in the past but with imagining truth spoken to the lie in the scene. That seems an even better method, thanks for sharing!
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.