January 2019
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Impact play is energy work for me

icon: "powerful (Frazetta's "Sun Goddess": a person with large breasts and belly and thick muscular thighs, standing with arms out and head back, knife in one hand, sabertooth tiger snarling by their side)"

(I'm frustrated that I haven't written about my recent life but I haven't the time to do it tonight, so here's a quick thought)

Percussion/impact play for me is a kind of energy work. The first time someone consensually beat me, I felt it creating this bloom of energy above the place of impact. After they stopped I asked them to gather up that energy and put it into my energy cores, and they did, and it felt like one of the best energy cleanses I've ever experienced. Since then there are certain kinds of overstimulation or exhaustion or drainedness that make me feel a need for that particular kind of relief. I'm not actually into the pain much - it's sort of neutral for me, at least so far.

Being the giver of percussion play doesn't feel quite the same, but I haven't ever had a really prolonged session of that yet. I'm wondering if I am the only one who experiences it this way. I think I'd like to engage in a more lengthy session, perhaps with no sex involved or some sort of lengthy break (so that I can completely wear out my arms without feeling regret).

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marchioness ══╣elegant╠══
This is interesting; thank you for sharing. I've only dabbled, with my girlfriend, in the world of impact play, but I think I see what you mean about a "bloom of energy"!
slinkslowdown ══╣╠══
TW: Domestic abuse, self-harm
I wonder if this might be something that would be... like personal therapy for me. If I ever tried it out.

I always have/had this ridiculous reaction to arguments and verbal fights. Like with my ex. I'd just start begging him to beat me... I felt like the only way I could make things "right" when I fucked up in the relationship was to let him physically attack me.

He'd never do it, though, so I'd start beating myself instead... I still do that sometimes. If I feel I've done something "bad", I'll try to injure myself. I never cut or burn, though. I just punch myself, or slam my head into walls. Especially the latter. I try to knock myself unconscious, but it's never worked...
lilywolfsolomon ══╣╠══
Re: TW: Domestic abuse, self-harm
I've had those kinds of impulses at times, and though I wasn't kinky at the time, I think it would have helped. The key is to do it from a space where you're actually deeply loving yourself, (or at least deeply loved by another who knows how to take you through it safely). It's definitely something to be really careful with and I would not do without someone who really gets kink and the crucial importance of aftercare and consent and checking in... especially when you're dealing with havingthese impulses outside of play contexts. It's about creating a safe space where you feel safe and loved enough to step back from yourself and notice what goes on inside of you, what's really happening inside of you when these impulses come up. And I think only love can do that. Yeah, it's about getting hurt if you want to and enjoying it, but too often outside of BDSM contexts that impulse is not the best self care. So this is making it about self care. It's about transforming those impulses that are usually about habits of berating ourselves and turning it into to love. It's a paradox, but love and safety are at the core of it. 2 hen it becomes too much, the moment it stops feeling safe and loving, it's important to be able to stop what is happening immediately (I.e. with a safe word).

BTW, I don't think your reaction is ridiculous at all. I can relate to it. For me it's like something inside me (often self-judging parts) just really really wanting to let go. So it's calling for the situation that would let me just surrender all the clinging and finally just be free.
lilywolfsolomon ══╣╠══
Impact play (and all sorts of sensation play from wax to knives) is totally energy work for me. :) It's an incredible way to focus whatever energies/intentions might be present wherever I might choose to focus them. So it can be energy healing or magic or both. Maybe it's easiest to focus the energy near the area of the impact, though if you're able to put your focus on another area (say, your heart) during impact that might produce a different sort of bloom of energy. It's fun to play with.

That kind of energy gathering is a lovely form of aftercare. Impact play has been one of the most *healing* things in my life. One we're not supposed to talk about, somehow, and if I were to list the most healing things in my life, I'd say the *most* healing are considered taboo in mainstream circles. The taboo of healing is so sad to me. I'll take a nice impact session any day over a dozen or so talk therapy sessions.

I'm a lot more receptive to energy in a sub space and the usual anxieties just slip away so I can be with whatever is without residual stuff going on... which makes for a space where really deep healing can happen.

I'm sure I could bring that into it and would like to but I don't really feel actively sexual at all when I'm playing. I mean, the moaning and surrendering that happens is a LOT like sex, but it's really like 95% healing. And I'm so surprised when people are like, "BDSM and healing and spirituality, interesting combination!" And I'm like... um... and so is macaroni and cheese, I guess? It's really weird to me when people *don't* see impact play as energy work. I've never felt it as anything else.
black milk leggings
meri_sielu ══╣black milk leggings╠══
That's a very interesting way of looking at it actually, I had never really thought of it but you are right. A lot of energy does go into that action, sometimes negative, sometimes positive. For my part and in my experience it's often frustration that I let out in parts with love and a desire to combine those two things as a form of communication in energy, does that make sense? I find it hard to explain exactly what I am trying to say through words of any sort but I think, from what I've gathered in this post and your point of view on it, that we're on the same trail of thought.
raidingparty ══╣╠══
Another place I'll have to look at creating energy intention.

Despite the dominant paradigm, I'm relatively new at this, and surprised by certain things.
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.