March 2019
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Motion-sick/ Marina Abramovich art inspiration/ plant spirit magic book

icon: "voltaic (me, face at a sharp angle staring out of one eye with a slight smile and streaks of rainbow light on my face)"

I'm on a bus headed for D.C. I'm feeling a bit motion-sick, which is a recent development (before this December I never experienced it). I am not sure of this is just a bad thing, or if it is a negative symptom of a good thing. It would make sense to me that as I become more rooted to my place I become physically uncomfortable with travel. I'm okay with that, mild discomfort is more of a reminder of the meaning of what I am doing. I just hope it doesn't get more intense. I like that I am traveling during the calendar transition to the new year; earlier Kylei mentioned that and it suddenly felt very right.

I watched the documentary on Marina Abramovich and it fucking ripped my soul out. I was quite irritated with the voiceovers but seeing Marina's work, fuck, that is what I want to do. At one point they had a performance piece that was them sitting at a small table, silently, and making eye contact with whoever sat in front of them. Every day, 7.5 hours a day, for 3 months. I could feel that, so deeply, and I wanted to do that. I want to give that. I told this to Topaz, feeling sad about my lack of access to a space, and they said that I could do it at a burn. That is SO true and I yearn to do it. I have to figure out logistics but the next burn I go to, I will offer this. There are enough people seeking new experiences that I know I will at least get to do it with a few. I want the lengthy experience because I feel that my ability to sense things about people would grow exponentially, but it is also something I do not have the emotional or financial resources to do. So, a few hours a day for 3 days, will be my experience.

Also, the most sacred thing I can imagine, Marina had the support staff take photos of each person, and then Marina wrote notes under their photo, put it all in a book. When I saw that I felt like I had seen Godde. I cannot exaggerate how intense my reaction was. I don't think I have ever felt holiness like that in my life, nor any emotion that strong. I wanted to wash Marina's feet and kiss them. I wanted to thank them for this incredible gift to the universe. Even if there had been no documentation it would have been such a gift. And with the documentation (voiceover commentary notwithstanding) it can have more ripple effects. In the documentary the thing that affected me second most was seeing two children sitting and making eye contact, silently. I want to inspire people to create more intimacy on their own.

On this trip I brought "Plant Spirit Medicine" a book someone bought for me after seeing it on my amazon wishlist. Glancing at it in person, I realized the author was a default, and my heart sank. What appropriation and sexism will I find in this book? I thought. But then I happened upon a page referring to the spirit of Plantain (which I know grows nearby and has medicinal properties) and read that paragraph and decided to give it a shot. So far (35 pages in), it feels respectful. I hope to learn from it. I feel inspired to dream more deliberately again (something I used to do to avoid nightmares, or to feel things in my dream that I had no access to in waking life).

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lilywolfsolomon ══╣╠══
I was just gifted the book Plant Spirit Healing by Pam Montgomery; ran downstairs to see if it was the same one, one word different though. Do you know it?

At first I was kind of sad, traveling back north for a week, but it's kind of like, a needed dream/rest and when I return to where I'm supposed to be the calendar will have flipped. Ritual so often just happens, it's just whether I notice it happening that makes it ritual.

That documentary sounds fantastic, don't think I'm nearly in a place to take it in at the moment, though I'll keep it in mind and maybe a couple weeks down the line... :)

I always want to offer something really special at a burn or transformative festival event. I've often thought of leading erotic connection exercises... once I get a bit grounded, and Georgia does seem to have some fantastic burns that seem a bit more on the spiritual side of the spectrum (as opposed to totally party-oriented burns), I'd like to offer this. Also do you know of Gratifly? It's like a burn but like a thousand times more spiritually focused, right on the Georgia South Carolina line, on Lake Hartwell. The most amazing experience of my life in many ways and... in the summer right after Transformus. It's the fucking memoir piece that I lost a couple weeks ago grrr grrr grrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope your time in DC goes well enough. When you get back maybe... you could practice eye gazing with me?? *smile*
tree joy
belenen ══╣tree joy╠══
I have had that one on my wishlist and am happily borrowing it now! I will let you know thoughts when I have them ;-)

Things I have done at burns before is gift food I made, lead an intimacy talk and intimacy practice, act as consent-care for the orgy dome, and lead a talk on gender and sexuality. I hadn't heard of Gratifly, but I'd love to know your thoughts more in person.

I like the idea of practicing eye gazing with you :)
lilywolfsolomon ══╣╠══
Yay! I'm excited to hear your thoughts.

Eye gazing would be amazing and would you maybe want to go to the woods sometime soon and practice/play there? It's getting warmer, hopefully, in the next few days!
darkestgarden ══╣╠══
i have this idea to do a mini gallery of small scale hand-painted portraits of people i look up to (my rule is they can't be fictional) and marina is definitely one of them. her self-discipline and commitment and intensity are tremendous. i find her work inspiring and powerful.

i think offering a similar experience at a burn is an excellent idea. i feel excited just thinking about it, and i won't even be able to attend.
belenen ══╣adoring╠══
!! I love that mini gallery idea. And am glad you feel this way about Marina and the burn offering, makes me feel connection and encouragement.
lilywolfsolomon ══╣╠══
And that avatar. I mean, so many of them, but this one right now... how do you DO that...
belenen ══╣amused╠══
antuvschle ══╣╠══
"I realized the author was a default, and my heart sank. What appropriation and sexism will I find in this book?"

What does default mean in this context?
belenen ══╣analytical╠══
default - white, male, cisgender, heterosexual, non-disabled, neurotypical, non-impoverished, USian, etc. Basically, the ones that don't get oppressed.
raidingparty ══╣╠══
I love reading how special the photo process was, and can feel a part of it.
belenen ══╣connate╠══
oh, I am glad!
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.