Belenen (belenen) wrote,

questions: eavesdropping on ppl talking about me / gift I've wanted but not gotten

icon: "hypnotiq (my fractal "Windwheel" -- an abstract swirl of yellow red and orange with a little green)"

If you could listen to an hour's audio footage of people talking about you behind your back. Would you listen to it or not listen to it? Why or why not? (from here)

My instinctive response is yes. If they were strangers I would want to find out what people's first impressions of me were like, and if they were people who knew me well, I would want to know their unedited opinion of me. I would be afraid that I would find out something unflattering about myself but I would want to know if that was the case so i could change it. BUT if they were someone who valued privacy and I knew that about them, I would not listen without their permission.

What is a gift you've always wished to receive but haven't yet? This can be as literal or figurative as fits.

Nearly everything I wanted since childhood I have either gotten or stopped wanting, with the possible exception of a live-in polyamorous household. I remember as a kid being confused that other kids only had one crush while I usually had 3 (the romance myth was one element of the kyriarchy that didn't get reinforced in my life). I daydreamed about having a giant house where the top two floors were mine and then everyone I loved lived on the other floors (lovers and friends and family). Yes even as a little kid I wanted my own damn space. So yeah, I would consider such a household a gift which I have wanted but not received.

And if I take it more literally, I always wanted a non-synthetic opal ring with lots of fire (white or red transparent, overall not much blue) or a glass pendant with opal pieces floating in oil inside it. My ex-spouse promised me a mexican fire opal ring as a symbol of our relationship, but never followed through.
Tags: giving, home, polyamory / relationship anarchy, questions, writing prompts

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